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Discussion: "Promiscuous gays give our community a bad name!"
Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 3,421
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I'm sorry to the self-righteous uglees being so judgmental but i can't be tamed, i can't be blamed, and i can't be changed
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Member Since: 9/1/2013
Posts: 18,649
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but i do agree that straight people have the same problem with sex (especially straight men towards women), but the movements about that are pretty separated at the moment.
also, to be fair, a good 90% of people are straight, so it wouldn't make sense to say people give the straight community a bad name because there doesn't need to be a straight community. pretty much everyone would be in it : P
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Banned
Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 4,870
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Quote:
Originally posted by JessLM
"Neither is being in a monogamous relationship. There's no pride in either, but neither are wrong."
This part? I would love an explanation on how being in a monogamous relationship is worth being prouder of than being promiscuous, and how that sentence self brainwashing and not being a non-judgmental and free person.
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Well it all comes down to personal opinion and what you think is moral and healthy. I think monogamy teaches self control, love, commitment and a chance to live your whole life with somebody, which along with having children is the most fulfilling thing you can do. While promiscuity for me only led to a feeling of emptiness and worthlessness. Like I said, if you don't agree that's fine.
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Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 8,883
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Quote:
Originally posted by danielins
This. 
Like characters of TV shows like Joey from Friends and Barney from HIMYM are praise for being openly ****s and everybody praises them and see them as icons, now if there were gay it would be a mess.
People sometimes act like only gays do one night stands or have hook up apps and do open relationships. Straights men and women do the same and nobody says a thing. I don't disagree that it makes non-gay people judge us, but it is THEIR ISSUE. We should unite to make people (homophobics or pontential homophobics) see that our sex life DOESN'T DEFINE US and stop with this judgmental ******** that only tear this community appart. Don't like open relationships? Don't get into one. But let people be. |
Agreed!
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Member Since: 5/22/2011
Posts: 21,227
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There's nothing wrong with either.
Can I be promiscuous? No, I feel guilty and disgusting afterwards but that doesn't mean everyone does - in fact it's better for some people.
Do I think I'm better than people because I'm in a monogamous relationship? Hell no, but I do not think I'm worse off either.
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Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 8,883
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Quote:
Originally posted by Humunukuapua
Well it all comes down to personal opinion and what you think is moral and healthy. I think monogamy teaches self control, love, commitment and a chance to live your whole life with somebody, which along with having children is the most fulfilling thing you can do. While promiscuity for me only led to a feeling of emptiness and worthlessness. Like I said, if you don't agree that's fine.
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I respect that! I'm a monogamous person myself. I just think it's wrong to impose your experience on other people and shame others.
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Member Since: 5/14/2009
Posts: 34,871
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They do. And then wanna whine and cry and want sympathy when they catch something. Bye. If you're playing safely, then fine. But tha ones rawdogging all tha time......byyeeeeeeeee
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Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 2,599
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Quote:
Originally posted by Humunukuapua
Well it all comes down to personal opinion and what you think is moral and healthy. I think monogamy teaches self control, love, commitment and a chance to live your whole life with somebody, which along with having children is the most fulfilling thing you can do. Like I said, if you don't agree that's fine
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See I do agree with this, its what I want out of a relationship. Its just that not everyone needs a monogamous relationship or needs to learn the aforementioned lessons, and different people live life to the fullest in different ways. Traveling the world could be more fulfilling than having children for example.
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Banned
Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 4,870
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Quote:
Originally posted by JessLM
I respect that! I'm a monogamous person myself. I just think it's wrong to impose your experience on other people and shame others. |
Thanks! I'm not trying to make you feel bad about your life choices, just explain why some of us don't agree with them. But as you said nobody can change how you live it, and it's not our job to either
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 5,549
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While I agree that dating/relationships in the gay community is hypersexualized, which makes it hard to find someone who wants to commit to a serious, monogamous relationship, I think homophobia has a lot to do with it. All our lives, we gays are told that being gay is wrong and that the only correct relationship is between a man and a woman. For many of us, that leaves us not wanting to get into a relationship at a young age while all our straight peers are out dating, so we never really learn how to date or get into relationships. By the time we are ready to go out and meet people, we just want sex because we're so sexually repressed and we never experienced all the stuff that is supposed to come before that. And often, we go on Grindr and other dating apps because we're still in the closet, so we just want a quick hookup that we don't want anyone else to find out about. So yeah, I'm not trying to be a social justice warrior, but I can't believe that the gay community is being blamed for this when it's largely a result of our culture being homophobic. And then we have straight people enforcing negative stereotypes on gay people and even gay people agreeing and thus further oppressing our community for something that straight people caused. 
EDIT: And again, I don't think being promiscuous is inherently bad - people should be able to live their lives the way they want to as long as they're not harming others - but if the root is homophobia, I do think it's an issue worth resolving at the core.
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Member Since: 11/9/2011
Posts: 5,451
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Who are they? 
And me and my boyfriend have been together over 2 years and are committed. A lot of my gay friends are in committed relationships as well. The stereotyping, they're so cringeworthy.
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Member Since: 6/25/2011
Posts: 28,853
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Quote:
Originally posted by MermaidPrincess
I'm sorry to the self-righteous uglees being so judgmental but i can't be tamed, i can't be blamed, and i can't be changed
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Do you, sis. Do you.
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Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 8,883
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Quote:
Originally posted by Humunukuapua
Thanks! I'm not trying to make you feel bad about your life choices, just explain why some of us don't agree with them. But as you said nobody can change how you live it, and it's not our job to either
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I love arriving at some sort of polite agreement with users even if we don't necessarily share opinions lol 
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Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 2,599
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Quote:
Originally posted by ThugginGrande
While I agree that dating/relationships in the gay community is hypersexualized... |
Very very good points!
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Member Since: 3/21/2012
Posts: 55,134
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To each it's own with open relationships . It is not my business who people sleep with and if they have an open relationship who am I to judge .?
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Banned
Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 4,870
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Quote:
Originally posted by Zylo
See I do agree with this, its what I want out of a relationship. Its just that not everyone needs a monogamous relationship or needs to learn the aforementioned lessons, and different people live life to the fullest in different ways. Traveling the world could be more fulfilling than having children for example.
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I see what you mean and agree, everyone has different goals they want to achieve. I don't think you can find love in one-night stands though, it is a committed relationship which provides that.
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Banned
Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 4,870
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Quote:
Originally posted by QueenBLadyG
Do you, sis. Do you.
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 this gif
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 2,231
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Quote:
Originally posted by Tutankhamun
But you can have as much sex even if you're in a monogamous relationship...
I just don't understand comments like "well you prefer monogamy but some people enjoy sex more and don't find sex shameful" "you must be unattractive and fat if you aren't into promiscuous lifestyle"....
I think sex with someone you're emotionally attached to feels 100 times better than casual sex, and this is why I stopped messing around with different people, because it didn't fulfill my sexual desire anymore...
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I think some people prefer to have sex with multiple partners for the same reason you prefer to only have sex with the person you're emotionally attached to. Slightly unrelated, but I remember reading a study that watching too much **** plateaus a person's sex drive, because a certain expectation of fantasy develops, so very little fulfillment is reached by having sex with only one person. The same could said in cases of high promiscuity, maybe?
Anyway, the guy on the left is cute  , but it might just be the angle. 
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 4,353
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Quote:
Originally posted by QueenBLadyG
I can't stop anyone from choosing what they want to do with their bodies. But I can have an opinion about it. Whether it's an opinion you appreciate or not.
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Member Since: 9/1/2013
Posts: 18,649
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Quote:
Originally posted by leociccone
I was promiscuous before Grindr or A4A was created. It's called being handsome, charming, and knowing how to dance.  |
i guess this might offend you, but some of you seem pretty defensive about this :|
Quote:
Originally posted by JessLM
Well, obviously. But they deemed the idea of not judging someone's private life as "self brainwashing". If that doesn't sound immature to you I don't know what to tell you. |
oh yes, so evil to judge people's private lives, as if literally everyone doesn't do that sometimes : P i have no idea why people act like they're completely out of people's business all the time because nobody is, for better or worse
Quote:
Originally posted by Daddy
Ok. But let others do that If they want to and stop trying to make this thing a "Poor them, there's something missing in their lives. This is not healthy to sleep with more than 3 people per year"
Let. Them. Have. It. and mind your own business no?
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man i'm gonna be honest, i hate this attitude. so we should just let people cause problems for themselves and those around them in an attempt to mind our own business? you do realize that these problems don't just affect them, right? no, i have no desire to let people cause themselves harm in an attempt to be non-judgmental or whatever. it's not like they're doing heroin, but this isn't a healthy habit, and it's pretty ridiculous to me to suggest that people shouldn't be exposed to any criticism for their actions.
i know that type of feeling can lead to hyper-restriction, and i don't think there should be a law against it or something. i just think we can't just let people cause themselves problems like that.
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