Member Since: 1/3/2014
Posts: 2,011
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The post on the other forum btw
Quote:
I met Marina a few years back when she was 16. My friends were all pretty into the whole youtube thing so I met a lot of people in this crowd when I was 18/19/20. I wasn't really into it but these were my old school friends so I was kinda in the loop, I guess? I met a lot of London based youtubers at the time through going to meet ups with youtube friends of mine. Not particularly big youtubers but ones that were in Marina's/my friends' circles. A lot of my friends seemed to really like her, one of my closest friends is extremely close to her, but Marina was younger than me, her friends were then also younger than me, and a little like my younger siblings which was annoying to me so we never became super close or anything but we hung out a fair few times and my friends all loved her.
But yeah basically, when I met her she was on mdma, drone, K and probably other random drugs every weekend raving (if you look through her photos on any platform you will notice her w dilated pupils and quite obvs at raves and squat parties going back a few years.) This was when she was 16. She is 19 now I think. I went to rave with her once and hung out a few times but the youtube community were quite bitchy and fake and all throwing around rape accusations and boasting about views and fans which seemed completely arrogant and self inflated so I got on with my own life and general drug experiences. A lot of the people I was introduced to via my youtuber friends were not very nice people at all so eventually I moved away from that scene. My friends and I eventually got out of the whole "drugs every day" thing and some of us had a really hard battle. I believe Marina stopped for a bit after having some kind of spiritual awakening but went quickly back to drugs. She was always super fun and happy when I saw her but I have never met her sober before in the 3 years of knowing her. That can only go one way.
She is now basically taking a lot of acid which essentially fries your brain. Once a month is too frequent for acid and I know she is taking it at least weekly. As well as DMT and MDMA. If you research into the long term effects of acid abuse, it literally gives you psychosis and pulls you away from the real world. It makes you believe that you have found ultimate truths of the universe and the more you do it the harder it gets to distinguish between real life and fantasy. It is a chemical reaction in your brain, not a heavenly paper gift you suck. People forget because it feels so intense but it is quite literally your brain dreaming whilst awake and it doesn't actually mean anything. But, if you do it too much you think it all starts to make sense and essentially **** your **** up. Google acid abuse. Google drug abuse. Watch her videos. Evidence enough.
I don't think she is being held captive or is in a nasty relationship, I saw her a couple weeks ago and friends had seen her before and after and she didn't express any worry. Pretty sure she is single now anyways. She was, however, completely ****ing out of it the entire time, mid-week, and more ****ed than I have ever seen (and I have done my fair ****ing share of drugs. With her a few times also so I knew what she was like on drugs before and this was totally different) Completely incoherent, barely talked to us, danced like she was in a trance, had no idea what was going on and just wanted to be on her own which was weird since she travelled from London to see everyone. She was here for two days and was not sober for 1 second of it. She was different to the last time I saw her but I hadn't seen her in months so assumed it was just because she was on drugs but actually, watching her videos and talking to friends really confirmed how bad it all seemed.
The reason we can't really do anything is because it's addiction and addicts don't realise until it is far too ****ing late. I am not even close to her and I messaged her but she was adamant she was fine. Told my friends the same. Even Ed told her and he sells the ****ing ****. Can't do anything until she faces up and she doesn't even believe she has changed so good luck waiting. I told my friend that is closer to her that she should probably tell her mum or something bc no one deserves to experience ****** times but Marina would resent it and I don't think it would do much good until Marina asks for help. It's a ****** situation to be in for my friend bc we don't live in London so there is very little we can do to help, Marina is hard to contact at the best of times and she is adamant that she is fine. She believes she has some kind of spiritual connection with God, that she is above addiction, that she sees the devil and so many bizarre things and nothing can change her mind because her acid trips have given her some kind of belief that she is a chosen one or a higher being and that she can heal and change the world. Maybe she can, but not by taking drugs every day anyway.
As for depression/life events I literally do not know her that well to say, but my friend says she has had a ****** past. Haven't we all? Can't say if she is having something bad specifically going on like depression but drugs, especially acid, really affect your mental state and emotions very negatively when abused. It's simple science. What goes up must come down. Higher you go, further you fall.
I don't really expect anyone will believe this. I can prove I know her, have met her, am close w her close friends or whatever. I don't even know entirely what I thought I might achieve but it kinda sucks watching so many people stress out over thinking she is being full on abused and that is kinda awful. Even when she says she isn't you all think she is.
Drug abuse. But optional drug abuse.
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