Banned
Member Since: 3/17/2011
Posts: 3
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Beyonce and Rihanna apparently got in a huge fight last night at a party! This is what allegedly went down:
Beyonce: “Guuurl, c’mon over here and take a photo with me.”
Rihanna: [Sighs and glances over at the badly-dressed woman she has now overtaken on the charts] “Sure, anything I can do to help a sister out. Do you need some press for your new single or something?”
Beyonce: “Oh no, don’t be silly, honey,” Beyonce chuckles through gritted teeth. “I just thought it would be nice, is all.”
Rihanna: “OK, sure thi–”
Beyonce: “Now you listen here tampon head!” snarls Bey, cutting off Rihanna mid-sentence. “You better stop gettin’ all those number ones or else my daddy gon’ kill you! And keep ya hands off Jay-Z, that’s my man! I begged him not to sign you to Roc Nation, but he said you were too successful an opportunity to pass up — I let it slide coz I’m all about the money, but don’t let me
catch you tryin’ anythin’, ya hear!”
Rihanna: [Blinks repeatedly and examines her perfectly manicured nails] “What? Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not going to try anything with Jay — I already ****ed him back in 2005 when Music of the Sun came out. Been there, done that. Now I’m single, sexy, and free, mingling with top athletes and Hollywood’s hottest bachelors. I’m far too young to be tied down, unlike some…”
Beyonce: “I’m only 29!”
Rihanna: “All I hear when you say 29 is ‘pushing 30′. Meanwhile I’m pushing 23, and already have almost double the amount of No.1 singles you have, more top ten hits, and in three months my critically-acclaimed new album Loud has already sold half of what your last album took 2 years and fifty re-releases to do. And what have you got for all your ***** popping? A few dusty old Grammy Awards your husband and father paid for?”
Rihanna smiles as the camera flashes.
Rihanna: “Nice to catch up with you, Bey. But next time you speak my name, remember this: It’s Ms. Fenty to you.”
Beyonce: “Yes, Ms. Fenty,” gulps Bey.
Rihanna gracefully exits the room, humming “Oh na na, what’s my name…” to herself as Bey stands frozen in shock, embarrassed and humiliated while the other guests in the room stare and try to stifle their cruel snickering. Beads of perspiration begin to form on her forehead, dissolving her weave glue and causing her wig to slide and sit lopsided on her disproportionately large head. Beyonce reaches into her purse and pulls out a Grammy, clutching it tightly while staring transfixed at a spot on the wall. Her wig then finally gives way, falling to the floor with a thud as the room erupts into raucous laughter.
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