Oh my God, guys. Tomorrow is my first time going to see Beyonce in concert. It's been a long journey up to this point. I recall 10 years ago, someone was playing the Check on It music video on their computer in this computer applications class in 6th grade. I was 12 at the time, so I had recently just discovered this new found love in music. I stood behind their computer in complete awe, as I'd never seen someone look so perfect, dancing and strutting in high heels like a real life barbie to what at the time, was the catchiest tune my ears had ever been blessed with. I remember asking them questions like "Who is this?" "Beyonce?" "How do you spell it?, Anyways, B-Day was released just a couple months later, and guess who was the first in line to buy his first album with his own money? ME, that's who. BDay was so full of sassy, **** that ***** anthems that for some reason I fell in love with. I blame it on those go hard instrumentals! It sounded fresh, new, wild! Fell in love with Deja Vu, loved the angry vocals in Ring The Alarm, but Irreplacable became that ish when she released it in Spanish, then came Listen, and you bet I enjoyed every second of Dreamgirls. Then came the BDay Video Anthology, her spanish album, Beautiful Liar with Shakira, and the Deluxe Edition. Bey took all my coins every single time. I was now 13, and although I never contemplated on going to The Beyonce Experience, I appreciated every bit of effort she put into her art. Her worth ethic, I never saw anything like it. Executed so effortlessly. I bought The Beyonce Experience DVD, loved it. Fast forward to 2008, and I was already anticipating her return. Omg, when she released the promo videos for I Am... Sasha Fierce, I loved every bit of it because I felt like I always had like these two very distinct sides to me. I wasn't in love with If I were a boy or Single Ladies, but I loved the sound, the looks, the vulnerbility and the fierceness in Beyonce and Sasha. I bought the standard edition, couple of weeks later I bought the deluxe edition, then right before new years, the videos for Halo, and Diva were leaked and I absolutely loved the angelic vibe to halo, my first name is Angel after all. I loved the badass kick ass video for Diva. Then came Above and Beyonce Video and Remix album, which of course I bought, loved the Halo and Sweet Dream and Ego remixes and the new video for Broken Hearted Girl, although I always wished she would have made one for Dissapear and Radio, some of my favorite. Then came the Obsessed, which I didn't get to see on its opening night, because my sister arrived late from her prom so when we got to the theatre, it was sold out. Then came the video for Sweet Dreams which slayed me. The 2009 MTV VMAs when she let Taylor have her moment, I fell more in love with her. By this time it was obvious Single Ladies was a phenomenon. Then I remember buying the I Am... Yours DVD and the reissue of I Am... Sasha Fierce with the color cover.I loved how she was able to tone it down but still deliver emotion, talent, vocals on that intimate concert. She then took that career break during 2010 but not before gifting us the underrated music video for Why Dont You Love Me on Vimeo, then the I Am... World Tour was teased throughout 2010, and when it came out in Nov. I was the first one at Kmart. During that year I also bought Dangerously in Love, and played it non stop, she seriously gave us some of her best Jams during that era. I had just moved so my room was a mess with boxes but I remember plugging up the dvd, and watching The I Am... DVD on this small tv on the floor. Then came 2011, April to be exact, Beyonce's year long return was anticipated by all. Who Run The World was leaked and although I was very unsure of how I felt about it, I knew she was going hard. She was in Paris on vacation, and I remember asking myself why she would not just fly her ass across the pond and start promoting the song.Images of her filming the music video were released and I loved the excitement of it all. It was a very rushed released, the title end up being Run The World (Girls), then Till The End of Time leaked and it made more excited for I loved the "Don't **** With Me x3", and I was sure the album would have the experimental dancehall / tribal vibe/ sound. The video premiered, late, maybe too late during American Idol. But it went hard, and it was anticipated by everyone. I loved the MTV special Year of 4, the Billboard Awards performance was a big risk and I appreciated every bit of it. Stellar. Then 4 leaked, other stanbases were saying she was a flop, because of the lack of a number one that era, no top 10s of 20s, the sound, which they said claimed was boring, the opening numbers, but I defended her through stick and stones and stuck by her side. I loved 4, sure it wasn't all dancy and poppy like everything else at the time, but during that year I fell in love for the first time, so songs like I+I, and I Miss You really rang true to me. Glastonbury, her medley of 1+1, The Beautiful Ones, Sex on Fire, so much passion during that performance. Then the video for 1+1 was released and although it looked like a make up commercial, I loved it lol Then when she performed during the 2011 VMAs, her revealing that she was pregnant literally made me so excited and happy for her. It also meant that she only promoted 4 for like 4 months.
She then released the videos for Countdown, Love on Top, I loved both! Then RNB radio started playing Love On Top. I was so sure that because 4 was such a different, and such an except work of art, she was going to get nominated for Album of The Year, but they snubbed her! She was in and out in NYC with an ever growing belly. Haters claim she was faking but I did not allow such blasphemous talk around me. I bought Beyonce Elements of 4 Live at Roseland. My boyfriend, my first boyfriend and I. Adele was his fave and Beyonce was mine so they were like the soundtrack to our relationship, 4 being all about love and monogamy, and 21 being the end of a relationship turned sour lol She then gave birth in Jan 2012, love Jay's Glory, him proclaiming his love for his baby and beyonce! So happy for them. Beyonce then rebranded her image on the internet, new website, new instagram, tumblr she had hired that guy to help her get in touch with this new internet driven market. She had always said how she didn't like technology, smartphones, texting, etc. I appreciated her old soul. she was simple, old fashioned, private, not extra. I'll always love that about her. Then came her grand return to the stage with the Back To Business Revel Show. She worked so much to she the baby weight, to get back into show stopper craftsmanship. She literally went all out with the production for those shows. Like Wow! Then we we were all anticipating the End Of Time video that never came
but heyat least we got that I Was Here performance video, I was so proud to stan for someone so humane and giving. Then came the announcement of her headling the superbowl, her 50 million dollar conract with Pepsi, Life is But A Dream documentary, GQ, her second Vogue cover. Were sure she would release new music during the the superbowl, which btw slayed! Then during the HBO premiere/Oprah special but nothing, in Vogue it said that as soon as April when mind you she was going om tour, which I didnt get to score tickets for, she was sure to hit the road with new music but nothing. The Pepsi commercial featured Grown Woman but we wanted something official, with a video, with performance slots, The H&M commercial with Standing on The Sun, features on Jay's Album, Kellys Album, The Dreams Album but where was her single! Now that was the biggest Beyhydration to date. Katy, Gaga, Britney, Miley, but no Beyonce. We thought she would do a bday and release dduring her birthday but nothing, Chime for Change, then we thought November, Black Friday, duh! But instead we got Life Is But A Dream with The Life At Revel Concert, which I wasn't mad about. Lol I had anticipated that since Fall 2012. Then on December Friday The 13th, Beyonce came to massacare! My boyfriend at the time had just left and when I got on instagram to check it, someone had posted a side by side comparison of Beyonce and Gaga, similar post but I realized that I had never come across that image of Bey, so I rushed to her website, to see if she had updated her tumblr. and omg, that video played automatically. VISUAL ALBUM, 14 SONGS, 17 VIDEOS, SELF-TITLED! I didn't know what it was, was it an ep? was it a mixtape?, was it a movie? Anyways, I started yelling, and running around in the living room uncontrollably that I had to go wake my sister up to share my excitement. She reminded me to keep quiet because everyone was asleep. I went to iTunes and bought that ****, explicit and all and spent all night watching the music videos repeatedly. It was an experience! The most exciting one in recent years! It went hard! XO, Partition, Haunted! It was the most explicit and experimental she had ever been! We had already learned about her miscarriage, about how personal everything was to her, motherhood, post natal depression, her getting nasty with ha man! lol I loved Beyonce more and more! Her MTV MJ Video Vangaurd performance that slayed! Her stance on feminism! I didn't score tickets to the On The Run Tour either, but I was the first to plead my mom to subscribe to HBO lol 7/11, The Video, Run Faux Trailer, The Platnium Edition, Yours and Mine! The she was snubbed again at the grammys, when she had everybody surprise releasing their albums out of theirs asses! She had the impact, the sales, the praise! I was so over the Grammy committee! Anyways then came Feeling Myself, Runnin, Hymn For The Weekend! 2016 came and I was so excited for her return! She was co-headling the Superbowl, she released formation and the music video that Friday I was working! I was working at this engineering warehouse, and I check my Tidal cause you know I was repping hard for what she stood for! I yelled out so hard that my co workers were wondering what was going on with me. Lol Omg then, the Superbowl came and she snatched my hair follicles! She then announced she was going on tour, say what? I was definitely gonna go this time! My show was the third one, in Atlanta! May 1st. I was dating this guy for a bit more than a year, we were planning on going together! Just like every other guy who I had dated before him, which were 2. I had made them fall in love with the magic that is Beyonce, so we were really excited on going! I was in love with this guy, I am in love with him. I'm tearing up right now guys, but on March 24th, I was involved in a car accident. I was on the passenger side sleeping, when a trailer truck hit my side! I almost died, I was in the hospital for a month. Broken arm, broken nose, fractured neck and fractured ribs, with scars all over! He ended visiting me at the hospital once, for like 20 minutes, before he left, when he was out clubbing and partying all night long, the night before. Like, you guys have no idea how lonely I felt. It is because of that moment, that traumatized me and left me helpless in that hospital bed, that I was sad that I probably missed my last and only chance to ever see Beyonce live. I felt like I wanted to die. I lost my job, friends, I lost him, the one person who I thought who'd be there no matter what! I mean who'd want to date me, now that I was all ugly and handicapped, with scars all over, right? My family was very supportive, Lemonade premiered while I was at the hospital, so I made sure to ask my brother to bring me some Lemonade lol. I laid there in my hospital bed, 20 pounds lighter, all sad and broken inside, feeling fragile. 6 surgeries that month, and over 1.5 million dollars in debt, physical therapy, and depression 6 months after that life changing night. Some friend gifted me Lemonade since unlike before, I was not the first in line to buy her new album. But there was not a day, in the last 4-5 months that I don't listen to Lemonade. I tried cutting a lemon with just one hand, since I still can't properly use my right one, I couldn't, I just began crying, and since then, I really try to appreciate the fact that although nothing is the same, I should be thankful that I'm still here, by the grace of God. That guy who left me when I was at my lowest, boy bye! There's songs like Don't Hurt Yourself or Sorry, that I yell out singing as if he were in front. Lol Everyday is difficult, but I can now see the beauty in songs like All Night and even Formation. Just because I have scars and limited motion in my right arm and hand, that doesn't define me and who I am. I define me. Not my accident, and my imperfections. I still slay. Beyonce speaks to me in ways that I am not able describe, but she's taught me to be fearless no matter the circumstances. My brother's wife, who is like a sister to me honestly, she surprised me with Beyonce tickets for tomorrow. I knew the instance she announced she was returning to Atlanta, it was meant to be. Its been 10 years and I'm finally gonna be in the same breathing space as the queen! I have my outfit and everything ready, Slayer T-Shirt, same one Beyonce wore a couple months back, red/black flannel, similar to the one she wears in Flawless, leathery looking skinny jeans! When I go in to the Georgia Dome tomorrow, Bitch! I Came to Slay! God has blessed me! Life gave me lemons, I'm making lemonade!