[jpow]

wow at us being batch 1

[Temporal]

Batch One

Announcement

Y'all, this batch was not good. This batch honestly put me in a bad mood; I'm hoping that B2 will be better, because if it isn't, we will have a serious problem. So many basic issues here, we shouldn't be taking steps backward. I'm sorry if I am being too abrasive, and if my comments were as well. I mean none of this personally, but I'm just so disappointed by this work.

1. UFO & Funnellegs - Brain Feeze

The central metaphor was a bit odd; the language here is otherwise very romantic but “brain freeze” doesn’t really fit that nature. Aside from that, the images and lines you choose generally weren’t very creative - especially in the context of other PH songs - so this was more forgettable. Not bad, but forgettable.

- “I was ready to die.” Too banal and the rhyme was trite
- “Me/Memories” was also trite
- “It's so sharp, your memory / I’m still stuck outside reality”t his is a couplet or idea we’ve seen a lot of

—

2. PhreshDiamond & Abyssy (RIP) - Sniper Sight

I generally liked this for the most part. The drags were pretty funny overall, but there were a few misses, mainly the 3rd verse which felt rushed and paled in comparison to the others.

- “His fave crossed the ocean on a coconut raft,” BITCH
- “Our lines brimming with scorn” “brimming” was an odd word choice especially considering how lexically basic the rest of the song is
- Using “guilt/out” when the rest of the rhymes in this song were perfect was jarring. That verses rhymes in general were weird (Ex. “Nomand/Ming/Sabotage”)
- Phresh you’re so gay what is this “hetero” ********

—

3. XL & Speezy - Fantasy Mirror

I’m sorry, but I really didn’t like this. The message, delivery and metaphor were all so corny. On top of that, the rhymes and lyrics themselves were often just weird.

- “Laying down your bed” was this supposed be “laying down IN your bed” or “laying your bed” as in making it? I’m confused.
- “away from diversity” what does diversity have to do with this situation?
- “Down/Town” was SO forced
- “Oh Mirror, mirror on the wall / Look, I am so beautiful” the rhyme was blatantly bad, and this couplet was so corny.

—

4. jpow & Corsola - Dear Cara

This is a structuring that we’ve seen before - Huga and Minho did letters last season - but I didn’t think that this was the best place to utilize it. Having it structured as letters when it was a conversation between a person and their imaginary friend was odd and muddied the concept. Aside from that, the rhymes were a significant issue here as well, and I the narrative nature of the song was a bit overwhelming without any images to hold on to.

- “The flames staked their claim on them “ this was a weird way to put “burned alive”
- The shift in the first verse from that^ line to the next was really jarring
- “Pills/Still/Will” was messy
- “Limited/free-spirited” was super force

—

5. SaintWest & Kunst - Home

This was a puzzling entry. I wanted to like it, but there were far too many errors on egregious levels that just could not be overlooked. I just don’t know what happened here.

- “Mazed/Haze” and “Fear/Tears” were nos
- “You warmed my heart inside your hands / Although its light was faded” I kinda get it, but the connection between “light” and “warmth” seems distant
- “Bloom/Room” was egregious, especially when those lines themselves were painfully banal
- The imagery in the second verse was really erratic and felt trite
- “I forgot my address today / But I remembered your face” girl

—

6. MattyTacos & theCheetahWings - Pemanent Holiday

The concept of a “Permanent Holiday” was cute, but the storyline was really boring and predictable outside of that.

- “You saw her on the dance floor next to him” we’ve seen this line in so many Pop songs in you’ve done nothing to reinvent it
- “"I guess that’s what we’re born to do / On a permanent holiday with you” this is super wordy and breaks the flow of the previous lines
- “She knew it’d be easy dying with you now” I’m so confused, what was this line supposed to be saying? It just makes zero sense to me with the rest of the song.
- “True/Prove” was forced

—

7. beatinglikeadrum & RihsusChrist(ATG) - I am the Wolf

I really don’t know what to say. With the subject matter y’all choose (the Orlando shooting) and the way this devolved as the song went on into an overdramatic and possibly comedic mess, I’m almost offended.

- “I could've ruled the world, where all by myself / My body was so colorful, it glittered in different shades” This couplet made it seem like you were setting up another action in the second line, but then you just described your body. Idk if you get what I’m saying, but it was disorienting.
- “Hunters with guns, toxic gas” As an artist who respects creative integrity and intellectual property, I am disgusted at how much you have copied my name. Do you not have any value or respect for originality?
- “Their wild dogs rabid like a black mass” when is a black mass “rabid? This simile doesn’t make practical sense.
- The second verse was sooo verbose with so many unnecessary adjectives being packed in. It wasn’t lyrical at all.
- The third verse was overdramatic, and the use of the profanity was really unnecessary and contrasted poorly with the serious nature of the subject and even the nature of the lyrics in the first verse. THIS is where the song utterly falls apart, and the final chorus only exacerbates this.
- “Beg not to die?! / You gonna cry!” seriously?

[Temporal]

oops @ a score leak, I haven't finalized these anyways so it probably won't stay that way @ whoever saw it

[Tymps.]

- “Beg not to die?! / You gonna cry!” seriously?

[ughgabriel]

Not you leaking Matty and Cheetah's score

[Temporal]

Originally posted by ughgabriel

Not you leaking Matty and Cheetah's score

King of score leaks

[Dylobs]

[ughgabriel]

Announcement
Y'all, this batch was not good. This batch honestly put me in a bad mood; I'm hoping that B2 will be better, because if it isn't, we will have a serious problem. So many basic issues here, we shouldn't be taking steps backward. I'm sorry if I am being too abrasive, and if my comments were as well. I mean none of this personally, but I'm just so disappointed by this work.

This saddened me a little bit

[PhreshDiamond]

OK now i'm not one to complain, but with half the amount of songs being sent in I wasn't expecting there to be half the feedback + a random personal attack.

but ok work.

[swiftie13]

You gonna cry!

[Dylobs]

Auburn hold me we're gonna get dragged by our roots

[Temporal]

Originally posted by PhreshDiamond

OK now i'm not one to complain, but with half the amount of songs being sent in I wasn't expecting there to be half the feedback + a random personal attack.

but ok work.

fff I was just joking You and Bussy were my #1 for the batch so

[Tymps.]

okay https://www.dubtrack.fm/join/platinumhitz hiuhiuhiu

[Kunst]

Not us being batch 1 not everyone getting lashed not this first review single-handedly foreshadowing a drastic drop from last week's position ala Dope once the YT awards effect wore off

[ceremonials]

rihview the rest of ours so we can cheer you up dad

ours is abit depressing tho so maybe not

[PhreshDiamond]

Originally posted by Temporal

fff I was just joking You and Bussy were my #1 for the batch so

If this isn't sarcasm i'm shocked and happy that you enjoyed it (which is the main goal of a song like this)

[ceremonials]

get into dubtrack

[beatinglikeadrum]

Originally posted by Temporal

Batch One

1. I didnt know you were called Hunter or whatever. The irrelevancy, I see. Maybe, you'll be famous someday...
2. My grammar skills are obviously very bad. But your reading skills are even worse. Check out the definition of metaphor in your dictionary. Really, look it up.
3. You may be offended by the metaphor. I am even more offended with you even reading it.
4, Sending you love. Xoxo

With huge amount of love,
beatinglikeadrum

[PhreshDiamond]

Also I see what you mean about the rhyming in verse 3, i probably should have spaced the lines differently.

[Achilles.]

I would love it if a judge would pull a Daddy Mendes and have mercy on my heart and do batch two before batch one.