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Discussion: Why are Masc Gays Discriminated On Atrl?
Member Since: 8/16/2011
Posts: 19,718
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Quote:
Originally posted by Rihinvention
Objectively, I'm relatively masculine. I go to the gym, I'm muscley, I have really short hair, I have a really deep voice and people are always surprised when I come out to them. But I don't like sports and I spend a lot of my time on a forum discussing female pop stars.
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I agree for the most part. But I will say that I typically introduce myself as gay to other gays even though I'm bi.
I'm lowkey tired of all the drama and passive aggressive questions that follow.
Just the other day I told a guy that I was bi two days after we had hooked up. And I was legit nervous of his reaction.
I feel like I have to come out twice in most instances.
Because it's no fun constantly being told you're confused or are self-hating.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 58,053
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Quote:
Originally posted by Rihinvention
And another pet peeve I HATE when someone has "no Asians or Indians" on their profile. Like some 18 year old Asian or Indian kid is probably getting bullied at school either for their race or their sexuality or both, and they find this app that introduces them to the gay community and gives them someone to talk to, and the first thing they see is a whole bunch of racist dickheads saying "no Asians or Indians sorry, it's just a preference, I'm not racist." Like it's so mean. Have a bit more consideration for the fact that there are teenagers downloading grindr just so they can have someone to talk to. It makes me so angry.
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I hate that too...
my friend had I only date white women.. on his facebook I was like wtf
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Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 30,915
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don't get it twisted
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Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 4,374
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Mess @ y'all saying that he can't be masc based on his posts.
So judgmental & even if his post gave you a feminine vibe it doesn't have anything to do with how he acts irl.
There's nothing wrong with having a preference toward masculine men. Masculine men are the best, I can't see myself with a fem unless they had a vagina
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Banned
Member Since: 4/13/2011
Posts: 18,738
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Quote:
Originally posted by Rihinvention
And another pet peeve I HATE when someone has "no Asians or Indians" on their profile. Like some 18 year old Asian or Indian kid is probably getting bullied at school either for their race or their sexuality or both, and they find this app that introduces them to the gay community and gives them someone to talk to, and the first thing they see is a whole bunch of racist dickheads saying "no Asians or Indians sorry, it's just a preference, I'm not racist." Like it's so mean. Have a bit more consideration for the fact that there are teenagers downloading grindr just so they can have someone to talk to. It makes me so angry.
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We all hate this. We all hate the #NoFems #NoFats ****. It's so stupid and only continues the superficial boundaries that we put up for ourselves in the LGBT community.
As soon as gay men start trying to find something real, beyond a body that will sag and bloat out of shape in due time, and beyond this ideal-masculine personality that they will probably never get without baggage of the worst kind, we will make progress.
I'm so over it.
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Member Since: 3/16/2012
Posts: 13,657
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sunshine.
Ok maybe we all just need to be nicer to each other.
I mean, why is it that masculine men are almost always looked at as "acting", who the hell says gay men HAVE TO BE feminine? If not then they are just putting up a show?
Same with our perceptions of femme men. Many gays believe they exaggerate typical feminine qualities. But who are we to determine whether or not they're exaggerating? Why can't they just be the way they are?
Let's just accept each other the way we are.
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I agree. Behavior is mainly a natural expression, none of them are exaggerating or acting. It's just who they are and how they feel comfortable.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 58,053
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Quote:
Originally posted by maiko
We all hate this. We all hate the #NoFems #NoFats ****. It's so stupid and only continues the superficial boundaries that we put up for ourselves in the LGBT community.
As soon as gay men start trying to find something real, beyond a body that will sag and bloat out of shape in due time, and beyond this ideal-masculine personality that they will probably never get without baggage of the worst kind, we will make progress.
I'm so over it.
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You can't be talking when you just said fems only..
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Member Since: 7/9/2010
Posts: 31,471
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Quote:
Originally posted by BrooklynBoy
Mess @ y'all saying that he can't be masc based on his posts.
So judgmental & even if his post gave you a feminine vibe it doesn't have anything to do with how he acts irl.
There's nothing wrong with having a preference toward masculine men. Masculine men are the best, I can't see myself with a fem unless they had a vagina
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I haven't seen a single person on here besides maiko that has a preference for fems
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Member Since: 5/6/2011
Posts: 26,891
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No but bottoms are. Like wtf is even the deal with that
You're not a better gay if you're a top
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Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 4,374
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Quote:
Originally posted by Rihinvention
And another pet peeve I HATE when someone has "no Asians or Indians" on their profile. Like some 18 year old Asian or Indian kid is probably getting bullied at school either for their race or their sexuality or both, and they find this app that introduces them to the gay community and gives them someone to talk to, and the first thing they see is a whole bunch of racist dickheads saying "no Asians or Indians sorry, it's just a preference, I'm not racist." Like it's so mean. Have a bit more consideration for the fact that there are teenagers downloading grindr just so they can have someone to talk to. It makes me so angry.
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If you're 18 1. You should have thicker skin. 2. Everyone should be allowed to have a preference. 3. Most people on grindr are not there to have a conversation, so telling your preference straight up makes things easier. & Grindr was never a good app. I like meeting ppl the old fashion way because Personally I've never been with a gay guy, only guys that I was their first experience
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Member Since: 8/16/2011
Posts: 13,397
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Quote:
Originally posted by BrooklynBoy
Mess @ y'all saying that he can't be masc based on his posts.
So judgmental & even if his post gave you a feminine vibe it doesn't have anything to do with how he acts irl.
There's nothing wrong with having a preference toward masculine men. Masculine men are the best, I can't see myself with a fem unless they had a vagina
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Gay people can be so ignorant,I'm no longer surprised by some of these comments.
Me either tbh fem guys do nothing for me sexually or mentally
No thank you.
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Member Since: 8/16/2011
Posts: 19,718
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Quote:
Originally posted by maiko
We all hate this. We all hate the #NoFems #NoFats ****. It's so stupid and only continues the superficial boundaries that we put up for ourselves in the LGBT community.
As soon as gay men start trying to find something real, beyond a body that will sag and bloat out of shape in due time, and beyond this ideal-masculine personality that they will probably never get without baggage of the worst kind, we will make progress.
I'm so over it.
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Not to much. I disagree with the tactless methods most use to convey their preferences, but part of accepting each other as we are means also accepting everyone's personal taste. We should be trying to understand each other, not dictate each others action.
In the straight world we'd have preferences for girly-girls, book worms, sporty women, or whatever too. Celebrating the diversity in the gay world doesn't mean having to have a sexual attraction for the entire spectrum.
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Banned
Member Since: 4/13/2011
Posts: 18,738
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Quote:
Originally posted by BrooklynBoy
Are you fem?
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I'm just me BK. Anybody can label me however they want. All I know is that when it comes to guys, the type that I'm attracted to are the "flamey" ones that so many in the gay community seem to hate. They make me happy and, in my honest opnino, have given more to the gay community and the world than the self proclaimed "masculine" and closet gays will ever.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 58,053
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Quote:
Originally posted by ChrisRTW
Gay people can be so ignorant,I'm no longer surprised by some of these comments.
Me either tbh fem guys do nothing for me sexually or mentally
No thank you.
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labeling yourself as fem or masc is a turn off for me.
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Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 4,374
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Quote:
Originally posted by maiko
We all hate this. We all hate the #NoFems #NoFats ****. It's so stupid and only continues the superficial boundaries that we put up for ourselves in the LGBT community.
As soon as gay men start trying to find something real, beyond a body that will sag and bloat out of shape in due time, and beyond this ideal-masculine personality that they will probably never get without baggage of the worst kind, we will make progress.
I'm so over it.
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Oh I was with you, but I'm quick to type "no fats & no fems" it's not even a gay thing. The world is superficial as a whole
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Member Since: 8/16/2011
Posts: 13,397
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Quote:
Originally posted by DevonRoars
labeling yourself as fem or masc is a turn off for me.
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I have to know if your masc or fem,makes things less awkward.
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Banned
Member Since: 4/13/2011
Posts: 18,738
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sunshine.
Not to much. I disagree with the tactless methods most use to convey their preferences, but part of accepting each other as we are means also accepting everyone's personal taste. We should be trying to understand each other, not dictate each others action.
In the straight world we'd have preferences for girly-girls, book worms, sporty women, or whatever too. Celebrating the diversity in the gay world doesn't mean having to have a sexual attraction for the entire spectrum.
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In the gay community the whole stigma over fems is very similar to the stigma over dating a black person.
It's societies reflection on one's tastes, no necessarily born from one's own experiences.
If you have a preference, make it unique. Not the same thing 99% of the profiles have, and that is #NoFats #NoFems.
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Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 4,374
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Quote:
Originally posted by maiko
I'm just me BK. Anybody can label me however they want. All I know is that when it comes to guys, the type that I'm attracted to are the "flamey" ones that so many in the gay community seem to hate. They make me happy and, in my honest opnino, have given more to the gay community and the world than the self proclaimed "masculine" and closet gays will ever.
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Just because you're masculine doesn't mean you're closeted. I find nothing wrong with people being closeted. I don't see a point of letting the world know what goes on in your bedroom. But it's everyone's decision. If I had a choice id be in the closet. Technically I am except for a few close family members that dragged me out, but don't really believe or accept it
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 58,053
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Quote:
Originally posted by ChrisRTW
I have to know if your masc or fem,makes things less awkward.
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I'm neither
but really.. I don't know what I am..
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 58,053
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Quote:
Originally posted by BrooklynBoy
Just because you're masculine doesn't mean you're closeted. I find nothing wrong with people being closeted. I don't see a point of letting the world know what goes on in your bedroom. But it's everyone's decision. If I had a choice id be in the closet. Technically I am except for a few close family members that dragged me out, but don't really believe or accept it
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If you need anyone to talk to I am here for you
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