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Discussion: Worst part of being gay?
Member Since: 2/4/2012
Posts: 2,817
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Quote:
Originally posted by Caprice
Homophobia is the only thing that sucks about being gay.
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this. everything else about it is pretty much beneficial imo
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 11,555
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Quote:
Originally posted by Bellerophon
Homophobia and falling for straights
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Member Since: 3/4/2011
Posts: 4,038
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The increased body image issues, mainly. And it's hard to connect with the community when you don't live in a bigger city.
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 2,681
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Quote:
Originally posted by AstroBall
Historically, gay men were equated with femininity because they are attracted to men; a trait we associate with women. Patriarchal attitudes caused this thinking to be associated with subjugation, air-headness, certain physical gestures etc. So, gay men will assert that they are masculine in order to avoid being equated with femininity; something that they view as lesser and unfavorable.
It's internalized homophobia because you're essentially saying "wait wait I'm so much better than those other gays that have higher pitched voices and act b**tchy." It's a way of still asserting superiority over gay men while being a gay man
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I get that and all but I refused to believe it's internalized homophobia. If someone asked you "oh why are you masculine and not feminine? What am I to say?
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Member Since: 1/6/2014
Posts: 19,122
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Quote:
Originally posted by Truth Teller
Honestly, it's knowing that some of the people you're attracted to wouldn't even consider you.
I feel like str8 people don't deal with it as much because, in most parts of the world, heterosexuality is the default orientation, so they just assume that the object of their desire might actually want them back (regardless of other factors, like being out of their league or whatever). For us, sometimes you really like someone but you KNOW it ain't gonna happen in a million years. And when he's hot and sweet and smart and compatible to you, it kinda hurts a little
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Welp this spoke to me a biT
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 3,853
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Quote:
Originally posted by lovecatt
I really try not to, but falling for straights really sucks
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This too
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Member Since: 3/15/2013
Posts: 587
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Quote:
Originally posted by Adelephant 25
I get that and all but I refused to believe it's internalized homophobia. If someone asked you "oh why are you masculine and not feminine? What am I to say?
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You say, "these labels literally say and mean f**k nothing"
That's what I do ahaha
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Member Since: 5/28/2012
Posts: 11,243
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This isn't up there with the worst thing about it, but I feel like whenever I have sex with a guy and tell my friends I get such intrusive questions about the intricate details of what happened/what role I played/+ so many other questions that never get asked to my straight friends after they sleep with somebody
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 300
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Getting arrested, Beaten to death and disowned. Or at least where I live :]
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 1,149
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honestly, the massively reduced dating pool
close second: homophobia (might move up when I graduate and have to find a job as a lawyer in a very conservative field)
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Member Since: 4/13/2012
Posts: 3,421
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Honestly I could give a flying **** about homophobia, the hardest part is finding other gay guys. Straight people have so many options to meet potential hookups and partners. Thy could meet anywhere. We have grindr, gay clubs, and guys who are so obviously gay that I'm not interested.
Not only is the dating pool reduced because they guy has to be gay, but then there's also the added factor that he has to be gay and sexually compatible with you. In an ideal world everyone would be verse, but there are way too many guys who are almost exclusively tops or (mostly) bottoms.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 6,425
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to be honest when you don't know if someone is gay is the worst. I often feel left out because the guys my age on grindr/jackd are terrible or just sweet but not my type. I like masculine guys but most of them are scared to come out or so deep in the closet that they're scared to walk together in public (this happened to me, sweet guy but he was paranoid about people knowing he was gay). Not knowing if someone is straight or gay is the worst thing EVER. Now I just try to not think about if someone is gay or not so I don't get let down. Its really sad because you can't tell if a guy is flirting with you or just being extra friendly.Another problem is even if you meet a nice guy chances are they just want sex. maybe I'll try Tinder but right now I just have kinda accepted being gay and single.
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 2,324
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I imagine straight guys can go about their lives, and when they see a girl they like they can hit on her or befriend her without all the baggage we have. If we see someone we like, we don't know if they're gay (it's usually unlikely), how they feel about being hit on by a guy, if they're homophobic etc. It's a lot more stressful.
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 2,092
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Quote:
Originally posted by iseeyouupsidedown
Honestly I could give a flying **** about homophobia, the hardest part is finding other gay guys. Straight people have so many options to meet potential hookups and partners. Thy could meet anywhere. We have grindr, gay clubs, and guys who are so obviously gay that I'm not interested.
Not only is the dating pool reduced because they guy has to be gay, but then there's also the added factor that he has to be gay and sexually compatible with you. In an ideal world everyone would be verse, but there are way too many guys who are almost exclusively tops or (mostly) bottoms.
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This
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 6,425
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Quote:
Originally posted by iseeyouupsidedown
Honestly I could give a flying **** about homophobia, the hardest part is finding other gay guys. Straight people have so many options to meet potential hookups and partners. Thy could meet anywhere. We have grindr, gay clubs, and guys who are so obviously gay that I'm not interested.
Not only is the dating pool reduced because they guy has to be gay, but then there's also the added factor that he has to be gay and sexually compatible with you. In an ideal world everyone would be verse, but there are way too many guys who are almost exclusively tops or (mostly) bottoms.
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That's another thing! I really start to wonder like maybe I should just be more open. But then I don't know if I would want to settle for someone and not be happy.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 4/5/2014
Posts: 4,802
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i hate when people try to introduce me a girl, like... is very uncomfortable
i don't feel like i have to declare myself everywhere i walk in
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Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 13,402
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finding tops tbh, and people interested in serious relationships
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Member Since: 9/2/2012
Posts: 13,773
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Member Since: 1/4/2014
Posts: 8,187
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asian gays who only go for white guys
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Member Since: 8/18/2013
Posts: 2,533
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lack of dating opportunities that don't revolve around trolling through sleazy dating apps
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