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Discussion: "Promiscuous gays give our community a bad name!"
Banned
Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 4,870
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Quote:
Originally posted by JessLM
Why do you make it seem as if not wanting to settle in a relationship is wrong? Y'all are so judgmental omg.
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What was so judgemental about the post dd? Love>>>lust, but if you want to have only loveless and sex-driven relationships your whole life go for it.
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Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 8,883
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Quote:
Originally posted by Humunukuapua
Or maybe they just happen to have their own set opinion like you?
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Well, obviously. But they deemed the idea of not judging someone's private life as "self brainwashing". If that doesn't sound immature to you I don't know what to tell you.
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Member Since: 12/27/2011
Posts: 20,704
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Quote:
Originally posted by Humunukuapua
Surely y'all aren't aiming to be promiscuous your whole life? I've been promiscuous in the past so I'm not one to judge so don't think I am, but would you not like to be in an actual loving relationship with someone, growing up and growing old together, rather than having only one-night stands?
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I personally know many older gay couples who are in open relationships. Someone's tendency to be promiscuous has nothing to do with their age, just the extent of how much they like sex.
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 3,421
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promiscuous gays UNITE!
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Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 8,883
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Quote:
Originally posted by Humunukuapua
What was so judgemental about the post dd? Love>>>lust, but if you want to have only loveless and sex-driven relationships your whole life go for it.
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Well sorry sis, maybe you wasn't being judgmental but this topic gets on my nerves.
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Banned
Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 4,870
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Quote:
Originally posted by JessLM
Well, obviously. But they deemed the idea of not judging someone's private life as "self brainwashing". If that doesn't sound immature to you I don't know what to tell you.
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I don't think they were calling that part 'self brainwashing', but the first part of the sentence.
Quote:
Originally posted by Aden
I personally know many older gay couples who are in open relationships. Someone's tendency to be promiscuous has nothing to do with their age, just the extent of how much they like sex.
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I never even mentioned age, just said 'grow old together' because most people on here tend to be teens/in their 20s.
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Member Since: 3/27/2012
Posts: 18,963
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Quote:
Originally posted by Humunukuapua
What was so judgemental about the post dd? Love>>>lust, but if you want to have only loveless and sex-driven relationships your whole life go for it.
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So what if you never find love, but try, and are also ****-shaming yourself so you never experience new people very frequently?
Lust can lead to love.
Lust does not block love.
As you said Love > Lust.
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Member Since: 2/2/2009
Posts: 20,174
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Quote:
Originally posted by Musicislove
self brainwashing at its best
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Quote:
Originally posted by JessLM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Humunukuapua
Or maybe they just happen to have their own set opinion like you?
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Then Musicislove shouldn't come her starting to judge others and respect their own set opinion, It's that easy.
It's basically one group of people attacking the other group for no reason while the attacked group just wants them to let It go and do their own thing.
A vegan vs. non-vegan mess.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 2,437
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He dose have a point on somethings
But I feel like people need to live their lives. And stop having to feel guilty because how others feel about what they do. People shouldn't judge your sex life. That's your personal life
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Member Since: 6/25/2011
Posts: 28,853
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Quote:
Originally posted by leociccone
I was promiscuous before Grindr or A4A was created. It's called being handsome, charming, and knowing how to dance.
Now I'm not promiscuous because I see celibacy as a turn-on in other guys...so I think they find it a turn-on in me. I have so much sexual energy and romantic energy oozing out of me!
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Is this supposed to be some sort of "drag"? Because I'm all of the above and still don't need to sleep around to fulfill something inside of myself. My whole life I've had women/men throw themselves at me. Doesn't mean I'm supposed to take every piece I can get.
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Banned
Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 4,870
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Quote:
Originally posted by swissman
So what if you never find love, but try, and are also ****-shaming yourself so you never experience new people very frequently?
Lust can lead to love.
Lust does not block love.
As you said Love > Lust.
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I understand what you're saying, and it is especially hard to find love in this community because so many only want one-night stands, and yes these experiences could lead to you finding it, but the majority are only looking for sex and that alone.
If somebody is going to ****-shame you because you've been promiscuous in the past but want to settle down, it's their problem.
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Member Since: 6/25/2011
Posts: 28,853
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Quote:
Originally posted by Humunukuapua
What was so judgemental about the post dd? Love>>>lust, but if you want to have only loveless and sex-driven relationships your whole life go for it.
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100%
Although like Swiss pointed out, it can lead to love, sometimes.
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Member Since: 1/5/2014
Posts: 5,399
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Quote:
Originally posted by Aden
I personally know many older gay couples who are in open relationships. Someone's tendency to be promiscuous has nothing to do with their age, just the extent of how much they like sex.
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But you can have as much sex even if you're in a monogamous relationship...
I just don't understand comments like "well you prefer monogamy but some people enjoy sex more and don't find sex shameful" "you must be unattractive and fat if you aren't into promiscuous lifestyle"....
I think sex with someone you're emotionally attached to feels 100 times better than casual sex, and this is why I stopped messing around with different people, because it didn't fulfill my sexual desire anymore...
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Member Since: 2/2/2009
Posts: 20,174
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Quote:
Originally posted by QueenBLadyG
Doesn't mean I'm supposed to take every piece I can get.
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Ok. But let others do that If they want to and stop trying to make this thing a "Poor them, there's something missing in their lives. This is not healthy to sleep with more than 3 people per year"
Let. Them. Have. It. and mind your own business no?
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Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 8,883
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Quote:
Originally posted by Humunukuapua
I don't think they were calling that part 'self brainwashing', but the first part of the sentence.
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"Neither is being in a monogamous relationship. There's no pride in either, but neither are wrong."
This part? I would love an explanation on how being in a monogamous relationship is worth being prouder of than being promiscuous, and how that sentence is self brainwashing and not being a non-judgmental and free person.
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 985
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Quote:
Originally posted by JessLM
You seem to be able to read properly, but not look at the bigger picture of what he's saying.
He's shaming gay men who like to have sex with different people on a regular basis, saying that it gives the whole gay community a bad name. No matter if it's true or not, at the end of the day, not every gay male behaves like that, so picking out sexual traits that are common to every sexual orientation to try and shame gay men is just plain homophobic. There's nothing wrong with being promiscuous if you're taking care of yourself and not putting your sexual partner's life in danger. How many times have you heard someone say, "Mary and Joe are so promiscuous, they give the straight community such a bad name"?
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This.
Like characters of TV shows like Joey from Friends and Barney from HIMYM are praise for being openly ****s and everybody praises them and see them as icons, now if there were gay it would be a mess.
People sometimes act like only gays do one night stands or have hook up apps and do open relationships. Straights men and women do the same and nobody says a thing. I don't disagree that it makes non-gay people judge us, but it is THEIR ISSUE. We should unite to make people (homophobics or pontential homophobics) see that our sex life DOESN'T DEFINE US and stop with this judgmental ******** that only tear this community appart. Don't like open relationships? Don't get into one. But let people be.
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Member Since: 9/1/2013
Posts: 18,649
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maybe i'm biased, but i've been through a decent amount of sexual harassment from other gay guys, and i think an excessive focus on sex is a legitimate problem, and leads to gay guys assuming other gay guys are ALWAYS down for sex no matter what. and i don't particularly like being associated with a sweeping stereotype of being promiscuous because of my sexuality.
i don't know what we could really do, but i think this is a real problem that the community should address.
i'm not talking about people being sexual at clubs or pride parades or things like that that are meant to express your sexuality. that's fine. i just think that kind of attitude leaks into regular life for a lot of people, and i don't think that's healthy at all.
also, a lot of guys who do a lot of hooking up, especially at a young age, end up regretting it when they get older. at least that's the experience of the people i know (and a bit for myself in that i was really openly sexual towards people, but i didn't actually have sex with them, and i still regret not being more careful with my sexuality).
and being obsessed with sex isn't healthy. if you're having a large amount of partners on a regular basis, i think that's a sign of a problem with you. having sexual encounters sometimes is ok, but if there's a point where you're addicted to it and couldn't go without it for a while or where you're making bad decisions for the purpose of getting sex, you need to do some serious self-reflection about that. that's just me being honest.
/controversial opinion
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Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 2,599
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Honestly, you shouldn't care what people do in their free time. I think you should address a different issue...and talk about those who stereotype rather than attacking those just living their life & forcing them to act a certain way in order to create an "accepted" image. It just seems backwards and counterproductive.
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Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 8,883
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Quote:
Originally posted by Daddy
Ok. But let others do that If they want to and stop trying to make this thing a "Poor them, there's something missing in their lives. This is not healthy to sleep with more than 3 people per year"
Let. Them. Have. It. and mind your own business no?
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Basically. This whole narrative of people being promiscuous because they need to fill something that's missing in their lives is so Middle Ages.
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Member Since: 6/25/2011
Posts: 28,853
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Quote:
Originally posted by Daddy
Ok. But let others do that If they want to and stop trying to make this thing a "Poor them, there's something missing in their lives. This is not healthy to sleep with more than 3 people per year"
Let. Them. Have. It. and mind your own business no?
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I do. I can't stop anyone from choosing what they want to do with their bodies. But I can have an opinion about it. Whether it's an opinion you appreciate or not.
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