I'm back! Sorry my internet wasn't working yesterday
#41. Kylie Minogue - Slow
Who is responsible? Kylie herself and to some degree Geffin
Honestly I can't think of a better way to f.uck over a second chance that America gives you. But Kylie successfully did just that when she released the GOD AWFUL "Slow" off the GOD AWFUL "Body Language" album. The song is just completely unlistenable, its a constant weird ass low beat and her 'singing' over it, its truly a piece of ****. I've heard better noises from a freshly dead dear on the side of the road. And the video has something to do with her and gays at a pool or something, one of the worst videos ever made...I'm not kidding. The song flopped miserably and the album was a complete disaster...she tried to save it with the brilliant "Red Blooded Woman" (which was light years better than the other...no pun intended) but it was too late and the damage was done.
The punishment for releasing this trash? - She has to listen to her sister Danni Minogue's awful song "Perfection" on a permenant loop in a room with a gun and no way out.
#40. Ashlee Simpson - Pieces of Me
Who is responsible? Joe, Jessica, Ashlee Simpson and her label...and most of all...YOU!
Well well well, my mortal enemy in life....Ashlee Simpson! What can I say? I wish she was dead... Okay back to the song at hand! This song is just so f.ucking gay and it's not even her singing it
This is another one that is going to be hard for my to type out from laughing because this bitch just cannot sing, if you saw her show and saw her in the studio...ROTFLMAO. Lets just say, her producers earn their paychecks because this ugly smelly beak nose can't sing to save her life. This song caused the most embarassing moment ever for an artist at SNL and it will always be tainted because of it. It has gay ass lyrics and dear god she is just so ugly...I'm sorry...I just can't see past it! THAT NOSE! THAT NOSE!
The punishment for releasing this trash? - This is just for Ashlee and no one else involved.....the punishment is a neo Nazi bashing her skull into cement until it's a fine paste that melts into the sidewalk...but first he would cut off her nose and make her look for it
#39. Mariah Carey - Shake It Off
Who is responsible? Mariah Carey, Jermaine Depri
Mariah, Mariah, Mariah...and you were doing so good too. This disaster came after she realized that she could release the stupidest piece of **** after her smash "We Belong Together". This song is just a lazy pathetic effort and it's make to the old whispery vocals again! WOO HOO!!!
NOT.
This luckily didn't go to #1 (because God knows that I want only good Mariah songs at #1 and so far he has listened!) and got stuck at #2. BWAHAHAHAHAH.
Oh and how about that video? She looks about 350 pounds in it and that bathtub sequence reminded me of that fat tank in "Whats Eating Gilbert Grape". This song is just an embarassment not only to her library but also to the history of music.
The punishment for releasing this trash? - Starved in a concentration camp