I'm so consistently Lauryn to the proceedings, lmao. But y'know, my presence is a present, et al.
So!
***FRAGMENTS
Someone somewhere has to have done this by now, no?
Buzzfeed? Jezebel?JET Magazine?
The comprehensive ranking of all the ***COMPONENTS that have comprised Beyoncé's best throwaway, then best STATEMÉNT, then merely serviceable meme/quote-vessel.
While "***Flawless," in its then two incarnations, may have popped up on my list last year, I'd be a weirdo to not acknowledge it in some way or another. Here's the definitive ranking of Flawless, Her Fragments.
***11 | "Bow Down/I Been On" / "***Flawless"
(0:00-1:09, 0:15-1:24)
BOW DOWN BITCHES! (v yay)
"Don't think I'm just his little wife"?!?! (v nay)
Like we ever did, foh.
***10 | "***Flawless Remix"
(1:37-2:06)
Half-beyked superfluous braggadocio.
***9 | "***Flawless"
(0:00-0:14)
Ed McMahon introduces the "hip-hop, rappin' Girl's Tyme" blessing Nikki, Nina, and Ashley with the aural equivalent of the liner notes shoutout they'd always longed for. Meanwhile, somewhere in Hotlanta, LaTavia Roberson realizes her own dreams. Twice a week, to be exact, during her contractually-binding engagements at some hotbox ramshackle cocoa butter club in the A, taking the stage just as the late McMahon says her name, says her name.
WELCOME *DJ turns volume down for a split second...* LATIVIA.
Wherein King B lets someone older than her ramble on about frisbees.
Tasteless MJ quip.
All in all, a steady stream of bon mots for the "coat hanger solution" set.
***7 | "Flawless Remix"
(0:13-0:37)
Yoncé does that really cool trick, first introduced in "Haunted," where she warbles in some sort go Creole-Illuminati-Parseltongue cadence and summons the attention of everyone within earshot. She then loses our collective respect a bit at the mention of some yucky millennial neologism...all before redeeming herself with the most shocking line put on wax this (read: last, duh) year.
***6 | "Bow Down/I Been On"
(1:09-2:25)
(AKA, just "I Been On")
Remember that time B Giselle Knowles wore a strap in the "Upgrade U" video?
Ha promethazine-addled REVENGE.
***5 | "Flawless Remix"
(2:06-2:19)
To the uninitiated, a somewhat incongruous Southern segue into up-North riffraff.