I am Britanny....I am new to this site. I wanted to show my love for Carrie Underwood, and now they are accusing me of some Kevin guy. I don't know who this Kevin guy is, but I'm here to show my love for Carrie. That is all.
I hope you guys see that. I thought I was going to like my stay here at PF as a newbie, but now I'm not sure...I hope Carrie Underwood makes a new cd soon
*I'm Not Gay* Bulletin Title!
Ugh...****ing hate this life. People act like it's a choice. It's NOT. I don't wanna be gay, it's so disgusting (in a sense...um...just nevermind). I feel low right now because I "have" feeling for some ****ing straight guy that I can't control. ****ing shoot me then.
Stop acting like I'm hittin' on guys. It's not like that. I don't HIT. Far from it. It's more of an attraction then anything. Ugh.
I'm pissed now. If I can't turn straight, then I'm just gonna be single until I die and lie a boring lonely life by myself. Holy ****. Straight people will never understand a gay life since they don't live it.
Just ask people on ATRL.net. I took my gay rants out on that ****ing forum and everyone hates me because I was confused and **** about it. ****ing shoot me again.
I hate my life. Maybe Britney Spears will come back hotter then ever and I'll be less gay and more straight. I hope...ugh. I just never been attracted to many girls in my lifetime. I don't hit on guys because I like them. I "hit" (or so you think) on them because I'm attracted to them in that way and ****.
Sorry about my ****ing rants but I'm just ****ing sick of the straight people acting like being gay is a ****ing choice. It's not. Go view my ****ing threads on ATRL.net in the Lounge by RocketPack and you'll see all my threads.
I'm just frankily mad right now. I don't hit on Brian because I.....nvm, but it's just something I can't control. What am I supposed to do? ****ing quit working around him? Ugh...sorry but I don't hit on people. I'm not that type. Ick. Just ****ing leave me alone if you are gonna judge people like that.
BYEEEEEEEE
**** life,
Kevin.
I don't want any friends anymore. I just wanna be alone for the rest of my life. Got it? Good. Now leave me alone. Ugh.
*What the **** is wrong with me?* Bulletin Title!
It's more from my heart if you read towards the end, it starts of angered...but it's gets more serious...just read it please...if you are at true friend you would. I need your help. Please read! I love you all...Kevin.
Answer please? Why am I so attracted to ****ing guys? Why can't I be attracted to girls?
Seriously answer this ****ing question. Don't say, "because it's a choice and you are a ***."
My life is going down the ***** right now because now everyone at ****ing work knows who my 'crush' is. Ugh. I never wanted to be this way. I never chose to be attracted to this ****ing guy. Why the **** is this happening to me? WHY?
I hate rambling but I just want an answer. Someone who can answer this from both perspectives. Not some one sided mind who thinks they know the other side. Frankily though, there's been only two girls in my ENTIRE life that I've been sexually attracted to. ONE I never talked to but I thought she was pretty/hot. And the other I was good friends with and I even had the guts to tell her "I Liked Her" She blushed at that, but she already had a boyfriend and plus she wasn't my type....well she did bad things...like smoke/drink/sex...you know how it goes.
There's been a LOT of guys I've just falling for. Someone about guys just attracts me to them. It's not considered "hittin'" That is far from it. Ick. No. I don't hit. Yes, I did do some nasty **** with this one particular guy. And I feel so bad about it. I keep telling myself I need to stop. Yes, every time I do that nasty ****, I tell myself over and over again, I need to stop doing this. So this must mean it ain't a ****ing choice. Because I keep trying to quit this.
What the **** do you want me to do? Live another life? Be something I'm not? It don't work like that. Seriously. What the **** does hittin' mean anyways? I wish I could have a friend to talk to right now and seriously find out who I am and why I am like this.
So if you guys wanna still judge me for who I am, then fine, I don't care. I really don't even want a boyfriend. (um...well...um....) Okay...I don't know anymore. Can someone please help me?
I'm so sick of this ****ing life. Why am I like this? And this is exactly the type of **** I pulled on ATRL. So if this is annoying to you, welcome to the ATRL club. You might as well hate me now too.
I really don't know where to go in life anymore. My whole family now suspects something about me. I've never had a girlfriend before, never even kissed one. I feel more comfortable around guys. So what? Is this some ****ing discrimination club? I never wanted to be this or live this life.
So I like girls more than guys when it comes down to personality. I might even throw in looks too. But sexually? No....I don't wanna have sex or even see a girl naked. I think that is kind of gross. I just don't get turned on by that in other words. I repeat, I don't get turned on by that. But guys? Yes. I am sexually more attracted to guys. So what?
So now what? Was I born this way? Or was I raised this way? Religion vs. Gay comes in play now. I'm a Christian. Now what? I want ANSWERS. I wish I could just talk to God and find out why I'm like this and who I am.
I just wanna end it right now by saying this.
If you know me personally. I don't try to be this way on purpose. I'm trying really hard to change this life around. But I don't think that will even work. If you want to give me advice. It should be not, "Quit hittin' on the straight guys" It should be more on the lines of "I really don't know what you're feeling, but I am here by your side until the end." or some ****ing line like that.
I need help. I'm getting worse each day. I don't have any friends to talk about this with. So I take it out with depression also. I'm deathly afraid to talk about this with my family of course. I just want a friend who can talk to me about this so I can figure out who I am and **** like that. I personally would like straight friends so they can understand both sides of issues. Having a gay guy give you advice about being "gay" doesn't help really. He's already gay. Duh? I want some advice from straight people. Not some ****ing quote about me hitting on people. I seriously don't do that. Why the hell do you think I've been single all my life? I don't hit. Omg.
And sorry about the last bulletin. I didn't mean it like that. I DO want friends. I took my anger out with that. Sorry once again. Just please.
If you know me personally, please feel free to talk to me about this. I'm sick of talking to people I don't know and telling strangers about my "personal" life issues. I want to tell someone in real life how I feel on the inside and why I feel this way. Once again...please. If you know me, message me or something. Show me your a true friend and you care about me.
I need to get my life on track. I'm somewhat mean to my family. I push them away sometimes, probably because I'm just sad and depressed for lack of friends. I am not like this on the inside. My heart is not cold. I never thought I would be turning so cold. I haven't watched Xena and Hercules in such a long ass time (the show that taught me about life), so I don't really know why I'm like this. I rarely see my Dad anymore. Is it because I'm afraid of what is gonna happen if he finds out? I don't know. I really don't know.
I'll end it here and now and just say. Please. Take the time to get to know me as a person. I'm not like that, the person you think I am. I never wanted my life to be this way. It wasn't my choice to wake up one morning and say, I like male better than female. I think i wanna be GAY! That sounds fun!
No...just please write back and be a true friend. It's depressing enough that more than half of my friends on Myspace are musician artists that I like.
Just to let you know, I'm trying my best. I really am. I don't wanna push you guys away. Please take the time to be a friend. Call me...I won't post my number here, I don't want the strangers on here to see it (lol) but I'll message it to you. I need to get my life back. I need to enjoy it while I can. Go drink! Get wasted!
. Or hell, get Laid! Lol...um...no. Not yet, especially with the way it's going haha.
I love you all deeply. I care about you as a friend. I hope you do the same for me in return. I'm gonna end this now. I just want people to realize where I'm coming from and stop the discrimination and judging.
Love,
KDog (Kevin)
