Banned
Member Since: 8/2/2010
Posts: 7,960
|
Katy struts out of the studio like she’s on a catwalk, smirking slightly, picturing that Hot 100 #1 at the end of the runway. She’s satisfied.
She turns the corner and smacks right into three trash cans. Katy shrieks “Oh my gooooodness” and lets out a giggle. But then she hears a faint, haggard “Katy?” It’s Lady Gaga (who’s over). She looks like she just woke up. Because she did. “Katy, is that you? It’s me, Gaga!”
Katy looks her up and down. She barely recognizes her without the makeup and costumes. At first glance Katy thinks she’s pregnant, but quickly realizes it’s just that her boobs rest on her belly button. Katy’s eyes dart to her hair. It’s frazzled, with a lump at the top. Katy wonders for a second and then it clicks: “Ah, she tried to make a hair bow,” Katy thinks. But like her career, it just didn’t work out.
“Katy, how are youuu?” Gaga purrs. She tries to reach out and grab Katy’s ankle, but Katy quickly steps out of reach. Katy quips, “Um, hi. I’m good, I guess” as she bats her eyes. She’s looking down at Gaga, who’s sprawled across three pieces of cardboard.
Gaga smiles for a second. Her lips move as if to speak, and then her face contorts and she starts to bawl. “Katy, please, please. You have to help me. Get me out of this dump. I’m tired of living this way.”
Katy pauses, smiles, and bubbly replies, “I thought you just loved the music, not the bling?” as she bats her eyes at Gaga. Gaga starts on a meth induced rage and yells “You ****ing bitch, if you only….” but catches herself. She laughs and goes, “I mean, I love my art. I would die for my art. But not by starving to death on the streets.”
Katy thinks for a moment. She thinks about 2009. Gaga’s year. Two Hot 100 #1s. A massive music video. The VMAs. She thinks about the Alejandro video, cheap fart jokes, meat dresses and egg vessels. Ah, the past.
She offers a friendly smile. “I think I know how to help. Get up.” She stares into Gaga’s dead eyes and grabs her hand. Gaga slowly rises, like a phoenix from the ashes. This is it. Help has come.
Katy continues to smile and walks over to the cardboard. She flips it horizontally instead of vertically, and then picks the trash cans up and rearranges them. She turns around to Gaga and says, “You’ll be just fine with these new and exciting positions. Now you can lie with the wind instead of a way from it! It’ll probably help your hair!”
Katy flips her luscious brown hair, turns away, and carries on with her night.
|
|
|
|
