Avoid the south and midwest. They're the least gay-friendly places in the country (aside from a few hotspots). You'd probably be happier in a more democratic place tbh.
If you want to be in the NYC area, without being in the city proper, you can get there pretty easily from most of New England. People commute from Jersey, Connecticut, etc all the time.
Austin, TX is probably the second most gay-friendly place I've been to besides San Fran. It's amazing there. And the nightlife >>>>>
I like DC. It's small and manageable, full of historical sites and monuments, has free top quality museums, and—best of all—their building codes limit how tall buildings can be, so there are no skyscrapers.
Okay that's some bad experience.
