I envy you guys so much for having crushes, cause it's honestly a good feeling cause they push you to be better and such. The last time I had a crush was literally in 2012.
I never really developed feelings for anyone after cause I asked her best friend if I should tell her and she told me not to cause she'd freak out cause she likes me a lot as a good friend, not as a potential boyfriend and that just stomped me really hard and killed my ego.
It stomped me to the point where many different people (mostly guys) told me they like *like* me (in a crush way) but I just ignored them and pushed them away.
Ugh feels like I'm never going to be good for someone and ugh it breaks my heart. There's this girl who does like me (her friend mistakenly told me) but.. again, I'm pushing her, as a potential girlfriend, away cause I just feel incomplete to fulfill someone.
I'm not sure how much my own self-esteem and confidence are to be blamed for in my situation. But I want a girlfriend or a boyfriend, I do want to just have that one person who I text ALL the time, tell them everything and send them these weird ugly snaps of myself. I could have that (not to sound pretentious, but I really do and it's not like I'm making these people put their life on hold for me) and I want to have that, but part of me just says "no" and that part takes over the other part which says "yes." Maybe in 2017. Anyway, hope you guys click with y'alls crushes and have nice warm partners to cuddle with.
Sorry for the rant.
SO PROUD
I thought about maybe watching American Crime Story but idk i'm afraid he will get bored