Thanks, NG
*PS: Get ready for a long ass read...typical of me right?*
Wow, so where do I start? Hi! It's been a long time since I've had a blog update. Let me start by just saying how I am shocked at Britney's performance. Why was it so bad? But it slightly gets better the more you watch it
.
So anyways, if you didn't notice already in the Lounge, I wanted to update you on something. And please, if you have nothing good to say, then keep it to yourself.
So back then....I came across this dude Alec. He was a friend of Shaun (I knew Shaun from HS, I had secret crush on him
and he knew it too; he was kind of hot though...) so I started talking to this dude like back in January or February of this year. I'm not 100% sure if I did talk to him at the end of last year, but a possibility maybe perhaps? Anyways, Shaun wasn't really talking to me much, since we didn't talk much in HS. He was a popular kid you know, and I was just one of those shy kids that hung out with the girls who liked shy kids.....wow. So I was talking to Alec about Shaun and **** and asked him what's he like since he and Shaun have hung out a bit.
Alec gives me his screenname and eventually after a couple of days of knowing each other, he gives me his cell phone number. Now remember, I know nothing about this kid. He is just a friend through one of my "friend." Shaun wasn't my friend, but I knew him in HS and enough to know I could trust this kid. So we became good "buddies" we text each other a lot on the cell phone. He then tells me he can't meet me in real life because it was just too soon.
So....eventually Summer rolls around. We were really good buddies and all. I should also mention, right before Summer started, he somewhat was Bi with me. (I should also mention he IS Bi). He, one day, asked me for some "pictures" Now I'm a ****, so I did send him those pictures. He told me they were hot and he wanted more and told me to do more weird "positions" (oh please no, enough of the agony <right term> you don't need to keep hating> and I did what he pleased. When this started happening, I was falling in love with him, perhaps to say? So he goes back and forth between straight and bi. He's straight during the day, bi at night.
He would get mad at me during the day for "talking" dirty with him and saying how I liked him. Then randomly weird enough, he would be bi at night and talk dirty with me. ANYWAYS! This was getting on my nerves and I didn't know WHAT to believe anymore.
I talked to Shaun about this and he told me to leave this kid. He had a bad past with people and I could get in trouble. Since Alec was the only friend at the time talking to me, I ignored Shaun. I kept on talking to him.
The middle of Summer rolls around or somewhat around that time and Alec starts calling me now. He never really did call me much before this, but now he calls me every night almost. So I’m like ok. This is cool. We talk…eventually he turns Bi again. He calls me at night (late at night…11pm or later) and tells me stuff like how he wants to do stuff with me. I don’t want to get into too much detail here, but we sort of have “phone” sex. We talk about how we want to be with each other right at that precious moment. He tells me he likes me a lot and he wants to do more stuff with me. So this goes on for the rest of the summer until the last two weeks of August. He goes on a quick one week vacation, that was the last time we talked on the phone and liked each other. He comes back and is all of a sudden BUSY.
We haven’t had one phone conversation after his vacation and he never talks to me in that “Bf/Bf” way anymore. I also forgot to mention, while we were “liking each other” in the that precious summer moment, we really wanted to meet each other. But he was gonna wait til he go this new car in October. So we were both anticipating October to roll around. Counting down the days…
So school resumes for me. He’s busy “school” shopping and getting ready for school. We don’t talk much, let alone text. We don’t have our “I like you a lot” phone conversations anymore. And I was just getting really down, cause I missed him talking to him. I really fell in love with this kid. He even let me log in onto his own myspace for him and fix something for him that he couldn’t at the time. How sweet? Right? I liked flirting with him on the phone.
Soo….now school starts for him. He makes a million excuses to why he can’t text me much, let alone call me anymore. AND I should also say….well….I really don’t know why I did this, but he had a girlfriend at the time. But she was away all summer according to him. But now I guess, she’s back? So I get all sad and mad because we never talk anymore.
I have a friend on AIM text him through his screenname and ask him about us. Now, after everything we been through, I thought we had some connection or feelings for each other. But it turns out….he didn’t like me at all. Well, let me rephrase that. He liked me only temporially when his girl was gone all summer. I was used pretty much. He told this guy on AIM, that he wanted to keep it between his girl and him and not between him and “THAT KID” And he concluded it by saying, “No offense 2 him.”
After I read this, I was in denial, in shock. According to Alec, we would’ve dated, perhaps, when October rolled around. But after that, I just lost it. I was heart broken. I was speechless. So I get mad and start venting on him through texts. He is like, “WTF” and “Why are you spazzing?” In the end, I pretty much got this out of him.
H e only liked me in Summer. He knew I had feelings for him. He knew I wanted to make plans to “date” him by October. He knew that he, himself, liked me. He knew he ****ed it all up. He knew he got me to fall in love with him. He pretty much told me that he was horrible friend and he should just not be my friend anymore. He told me he was sorry, but that’s just the way it was. It was a summer thing. He hardcore liked me in the Summer. It was Summer Alec. Here is a quote…
“U don’t need help. Cuz we have made a good relationship over this and it’s been good”
So I cried all night. I couldn’t stop it. I really thought I found the guy I loved. I told Alec I was crying over this and he just told me he was sorry and he was a bad friend. He told me in the Summer, “What if we end up like dating” and the conversation went from there.
So I text Shaun again, asking him for advice, he finally just responded (I love him so much, even though he texts me once a month
) He responded after a HSM2 airing weekend hitiaus; this means we haven’t talked since HSM2 premeired on Disney. I plan on talking to him about Alec tomorrow, or so I think. He hasn’t responded back to me again
so typical.
So in the end, Alec told me he was a bad friend and we shouldn’t talk to each other. I don’t hate people, I seriously don’t. I can’t just walk away from this. I’ll get over it eventually. But I left Alec this right after he slept for the night.
IMing
Why am I so nice? Most people would've just not talk to that person. But I can't do that. Alec was my true friend at the moment. He was the only one who took the time to talk to me as a friend, regardless his stupid ass actions. He used me. I was so honest with him.
Now what is this....the 2nd guy I fell in love with and feelings for? Brian and now Alec? Ugh.
Goodnight. Love you all. And I'm sorry for the Britney spazzing. I don't really like to be annoying at times....sorry
I guess I do it for attention.
And I don't know why I am telling you guys this. I guess it makes me feel better letting this all out, instead of keeping it up all riled inside of me. I do feel slightly better now. I'm over Brian, now I'm over Alec.
this got to be one of the best sites created ever!!!!
