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Fan Base: Archived: Selena Gomez (#1)
Member Since: 10/29/2011
Posts: 14,725
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There's a NOVEL called, "While I'm dead.. Feed the dog. "And it's being turned into a movie.
This could obviously be a coincidence but..
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Tim Garrack is currently adapting the Ric Browde novel, “While I’m Dead...Feed The Dog” into a screenplay for producer Andrew Lazar (Confessions of A Dangerious Mind)
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While I'm Dead...Feed The Dog is a black comedy fiction work that is accompanied by an originally scored music CD Soundtrack featuring never before released material. Written by songwriter/music producer and eight time platinum and eleven time gold awards winner Ric Browde, the novel explores teenage angst, love & sex and rock 'n roll in the '70s. Browde, who has sold over twenty million albums has worked with such artists as Poison, Joan Jett and Ted Nugent. From narcoleptic nuns, nymphomaniacs, the Mafia, a huckster televangelist, dying Latin teachers, corrupt school administrators, inept policemen, unscrupulous lawyers, buffoon reporters, half -- witted rock and roll musicians, transsexual record company presidents, drug addicted disc jockeys, greedy family members and the lovely Nina Pennington, this novel is a must for anyone who lived or wanted to live in the '70s as a teenager.(less)
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Could explain the oldfashioned big hair..
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Member Since: 10/12/2010
Posts: 17,351
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Originally posted by iGomezHubby
13RW over this messy Feed The Dog
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this
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Member Since: 10/29/2011
Posts: 14,725
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Excerpt,
Again, this could all be a coincidence, but we can speculate.
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It all starts off with my mother’s first suicide attempt. I’m upstairs practicing guitar when the phone rings. I figure she’s going to pick it up, but it just keeps on ringing so finally I answer it.
“Is your mother home?” I recognize the voice as that of my fat cousin with the face lift. “Hold on a second and I’ll get her.”
I go downstairs and there she is lying real still surrounded by a veritable who’s who of saints on hundreds of prayer candles. Through the blazing inferno I see these sixteen envelopes all addressed to people whose fault it is, two pill bottles, and the requisite empty bottle of vodka. I shake her but she won’t move...so I guess she’s kicked the bucket and I better get rid of my piglet cousin and use the phone for some 911 action.
“She’s too dead to come to the phone right now, so hang up and let me make some calls.” Fatso starts babbling so I tell her, “Hang up right ****ing now Julie, this is an emergency and I need the phone.” She continues on. “Now.” Click.
So I do the 911 thing and being that we live in a small suburb of St. Louis where the only doughnut shop is two blocks down, four cops and an ambulance are over in two minutes.
By the time they arrive I’ve figured out that Seconal is what’s put her in God’s little waiting room. So, the ambulance guys go into their official suicide drill... you know – do some earnest CPR, see that doesn’t work, shout a few obscenities and throw the body onto the stretcher and get her to the stomach pump pronto.
As the paramedics are taking her out one of the cops starts doing an interrogation number on yours truly.
“What’s her name?”
“Lucretia Garbo Thibault.”
“Date of birth?”
“July 9th, 1928.”
“Religion?”
“Let’s see – she was Catholic this week, but last week it was Unitarian and two months ago I think she was a Buddhist or was it Hindu, I know it wasn’t Jehovah’s Witness because I haven’t seen the Watchtower in about a year. Anyway who cares?”
“These are questions I have to ask,” he says officiously, “now what’s her education?”
It’s just then while the ambulance drivers are navigating their way through the side door that I see the note, taped in big letters on the garage.
W H I L E
I ‘ M
D E A D
F E E D
T H E
D O G
Now I don’t know about you but when I read a suicide note that says “While I’m dead feed the dog,” I laugh. I don’t care if it’s written by my mother or goddamn Mother Theresa it deserves a good chortle. Unfortunately the cops and ambulance drivers don’t see the note yet and are starting to give me the ‘I bet she did it because of you – you uncaring son of a bitch long hair drug consuming commie’ look. Meanwhile Duke is barking out back, probably because he’s read the letter and damn well wants to make sure that I fully understand it. He’ll have to wait. Finally one of the cops notices the note and he breaks out laughing and can’t control himself either, causing the ambulance guys to see it and lose it too; so we end up having a whole procession of hysterical emergency workers carrying my mother off to the emergency room.
My sister shows up just in time for me to ask her to go with Mom to the hospital. I hate waiting in those type of places and besides this way I can make some calls. As he loads my mother into the back I hear the ambulance driver saying she’s probably dead but he’s going to hurry to the hospital anyway and give it the old college try.
So while the obnoxious cop resumes his questioning I feed the dog who seems okay with the programme now that he sees he still has clout around the place.
“I didn’t hear your answer. What did you say is her education?”
“Does this determine whether she gets sent to smart doctors? I mean who the **** cares?”
“Look we need this information for statistical purposes,” the burly doughnut king of Clayton, Missouri retorts, eyeing his nightstick longingly.
“**** yourself, my mother may be dead and you want to know how far in college she got? Is this what they teach you in your sensitivity training courses?”
“Listen we have a potential homicide investigation here and you may be a suspect.”
“Homicide my ass, how do you explain the suicide notes?”
Finally the cop’s boss shows up and realizes it’s in bad taste to badger suicide victims’ next of kin and that I might be interested in discussing other things than her educational development. “Look son you must be stressed out – we’ll just leave this questionnaire here. Fill it out at your convenience and mail it to us, okay?”
“No problem. I have some calls to make before I go to the hospital, so thanks for coming and have a nice day,” I say, reaching for the sixteen unread suicide notes.
“You can’t have these.”
“Why not?”
“They’re evidence.”
“This one’s addressed to me and I want to read it.”
“Only if you let us look at it first.” The doughnut cop grabs it from my hand. He starts reading, I can tell because his lips are moving a mile a minute until he gets to a big word. “What does opprobrious mean?”
“Abusive or malevolent,” I answer, thankful that I read my mother’s Readers Digest ‘Improve Your Word Power’ column.
“Well you’re opprobrious,” he says as he reads on, “and you’ve been ****ing her best friend.”
I suddenly feel the dread that has so far eluded me through this situation. How did she find out? Marge Bender better not be letting on. She’s my best friend’s mother and I only did it after she blackmailed me. Was it the same detective that she hired to catch my dad? Mom’s a psycho-bitch alcoholic whom no one will take seriously if she lives, but if she knows, who else? Billy Bender will be pissed that I was nailing his mother, not to mention how his father – her husband the ex-college football player turned neo-Nazi sporting goods salesman who does a very good business in shotguns might feel. What happens if Nina Pennington the subject of many a late night wet dream, finds out; will I be dead in the water with her, especially since we were just getting somewhere in our relationship? I mean I had my hand inside her bra for five minutes last night while my tongue was halfway down her throat. There could be big trouble in River City.
“Enough about me... I want to know what this one says,” I say, picking up the one addressed to ‘My Son-of-A-Bitch Husband.’
“Leave it alone,” Dunkin’ Donut cop decrees, snatching the epistle from me, not noticing that I have with my other hand slipped the one addressed to Marge Bender under my shirt.
“What’s it say?”
“This is official police business and it isn’t addressed to you anyway. We’ll hold on to these until after our inquiry is complete.”
So it takes the cops a few more minutes to gather all the evidence of wrongdoing before they clear out. I try to convince them that the candles are important to the investigation and need to go to headquarters, but they aren’t that dumb. Too bad. I hate those candles.
I finally have the place to myself. Time to open Lucretia Thibault’s message from slightly before the grave. The phone rings as I open the envelope.
“Hello.” Oh no, it’s Fatso. If I tell her the truth she’ll be on the way over to show how much she cares. I start perusing the ramblings from my recently departed (but how far?) mom.
“What did you mean by she’s too dead to come to the phone? What’s going on? Why did you tell me to hang up?”
“Uh, mom tried to commit suicide they just took her to the hospital... Yeah, it’s drugs, 50 Seconal, she might be dead... I think they might need blood donors down there, I can’t go because I think I’m coming down with bronchitis but maybe you can give. Kristen’s there with her; and I’m making calls and answering the police’s questions.” She wants to press charges against Marge for corrupting me? I read on, “I think you better hurry down to the hospital Fa, I mean Julie, Quick!”
That should keep Fatso out of my hair for a few hours or so. Maybe if Mom hangs on, Julie will work a few pounds off pacing earnestly back and forth in the waiting room. Hang in there Mom, for the good of humanity. Don’t die for at least twenty million calories or so.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
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Member Since: 9/18/2011
Posts: 4,031
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Is Selena starring in the movie or what?
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Member Since: 9/18/2011
Posts: 4,031
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67 guests
EDIT: 73 now
EDIT 2: 81 now wttf
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Member Since: 2/3/2012
Posts: 6,009
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Quote:
Originally posted by Musiclover1987
This is LACHLAN BUCHANAN
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Originally posted by Musiclover1987
Is Selena about to get her own Aussie?
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Originally posted by Musiclover1987
Dog films have potential.
Think positive !
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Originally posted by Musiclover1987
Projects (confimed or finished)
Hotel Transylvania
Spring Breakers
Aftershock (cameo)
The getaway
Working title: Feed the Dog
Still waiting
13 Reasons Why
The Sky is Everywhere
Hot Mess
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Quote:
Originally posted by Musiclover1987
There's a NOVEL called, "While I'm dead.. Feed the dog. "And it's being turned into a movie.
This could obviously be a coincidence but..
Could explain the oldfashioned big hair..
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Quote:
Originally posted by Musiclover1987
Excerpt,
Again, this could all be a coincidence, but we can speculate.
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loool.
Feed the Dog
If it is based on the novel it sounds interesting tbh. The guys are HIDEOUS though.
Also sounds very 'indie'-ish
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Member Since: 10/29/2011
Posts: 14,725
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Quote:
Originally posted by iGomezHubby
67 guests
EDIT: 73 now
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Lolll, I tweeted it.
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Member Since: 2/3/2012
Posts: 6,009
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Quote:
Originally posted by Musiclover1987
There's a NOVEL called, "While I'm dead.. Feed the dog. "And it's being turned into a movie.
This could obviously be a coincidence but..
Could explain the oldfashioned big hair..
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Mhmmm, it does it does.
I can't wait for more info!
I'm trying to find info on this book/movie and I am getting nothing that I want.
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Raw Dog Food - Make it Easy for You and Your Dog
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Member Since: 10/29/2011
Posts: 14,725
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Quote:
Originally posted by seismicity
loool.
Feed the Dog
If it is based on the novel it sounds interesting tbh. The guys are HIDEOUS though.
Also sounds very 'indie'-ish
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But don't you think the hair she's rocking now is VERY 70'ish?
It could be!
And the title, I mean it's such a weird title, what are the chances of two movies having it?
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Member Since: 9/18/2011
Posts: 4,031
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Quote:
Originally posted by Musiclover1987
Lolll, I tweeted it.
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But u only have like 130 followers
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Member Since: 10/29/2011
Posts: 14,725
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Quote:
Originally posted by iGomezHubby
But u only have like 130 followers
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Quality over quantity!!!
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Member Since: 9/18/2011
Posts: 4,031
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Quote:
Originally posted by Musiclover1987
Quality over quantity!!!
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*looks at your tweets*
IDTS
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Member Since: 2/3/2012
Posts: 6,009
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Researching the movie & producer a bit.
http://movies.nytimes.com/movie/4549...e-Dog/overview
While trying to get into the pants of the most beautiful girl in the world, sixteen-year-old Ric Thibault ends up in the back of a limo on the road to rock'n'roll superstardom opening up for Bowie. But on the way there he hits a bump or two - a few dead Mafia hitmen here, a nymphomaniac next door there, not to mention a few dying Latin teachers, narcoleptic nuns, inept policemen, unscrupulous lawyers, buffoon reporters, huckster televangelists and greedy relatives. ~ Baseline StudioSystems
http://www.sneauxthemusical.com/page...arrick_bio.htm
He is currently adapting the Ric Browde novel, “While I’m Dead...Feed The Dog” into a screenplay for producer Andrew Lazar (Confessions of A Dangerious Mind)
An interview from 2004 (Long time ago...mhm )
1. What are you currently up to? This is the only chance to promote whatever it is you have going on.
I've just signed a movie deal with movie producer Andrew Lazar to turn my first novel, "While I'm Dead...Feed the Dog", into a movie (If you have any extra money left over from your drug and alcohol budgets please buy it from Amazon.com!). In addition to writing the book, I will be in charge of the soundtrack. I'm finishing work on the sequel to "While I'm Dead" (entitled "Son of God...the Sequel") and I've been working with an Italian glam band, Bastet, with whom I wrote and produced their debut album and rock opera "Gimme Some More of Sodom and Gomorrah"... plus I've been spending a lot of time in Thailand doing research for another book. "Lord of the Thighs" that I've been asked to write.
Edit: Something from 2008
That in turn led the two to begin collaboration on an adaptation of "When I'm Dead, Feed the Dog" for Garrick to direct.
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Member Since: 10/29/2011
Posts: 14,725
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Quote:
Originally posted by iGomezHubby
*looks at your tweets*
IDTS
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....
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Member Since: 10/29/2011
Posts: 14,725
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Quote:
Originally posted by seismicity
Researching the movie & producer a bit.
http://movies.nytimes.com/movie/4549...e-Dog/overview
While trying to get into the pants of the most beautiful girl in the world, sixteen-year-old Ric Thibault ends up in the back of a limo on the road to rock'n'roll superstardom opening up for Bowie. But on the way there he hits a bump or two - a few dead Mafia hitmen here, a nymphomaniac next door there, not to mention a few dying Latin teachers, narcoleptic nuns, inept policemen, unscrupulous lawyers, buffoon reporters, huckster televangelists and greedy relatives. ~ Baseline StudioSystems
http://www.sneauxthemusical.com/page...arrick_bio.htm
He is currently adapting the Ric Browde novel, “While I’m Dead...Feed The Dog” into a screenplay for producer Andrew Lazar (Confessions of A Dangerious Mind)
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Selena is obviously the "most beautiful girl in the world" rightt!?
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Member Since: 1/31/2012
Posts: 5,596
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Wait this is interesting
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Member Since: 2/3/2012
Posts: 6,009
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Guess we have to wait and see which will be forever. I also find it funny how that MTV interview she did during her perfume launch was more informative than her two recent magazine interviews combined.
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Member Since: 2/3/2012
Posts: 6,009
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Quote:
Originally posted by SelenitaStan
Wait this is interesting
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If it's based on what Yana posted I agree
Not sure about the 70's/music~ aspect to it, but it's interesting.
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Member Since: 9/18/2011
Posts: 4,031
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Watch it turn out to be completely different
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Member Since: 1/31/2012
Posts: 5,596
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Quote:
Originally posted by seismicity
If it's based on what Yana posted I agree
Not sure about the 70's/music~ aspect to it, but it's interesting.
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This girl doesnt tell us anything. I hope it turns out to be a good movie.
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