Ok, I met my last crush through friends. Me and my friends used to hang out in this park and he was always there too (like a friend of other friends). He has long black hair, pale skin and is a cute weirdo skater. The first time I saw him I knew he would be in my head for the next months
in the first meetings he was always too drunk to even have a normal conversation, but one time we were in a street party and he was kind of sober thanks god, so I approached and we talked a little and then he started to drink and falled out on my lap and I took care of him, like I literally lead him to the bathroom and this kind of stuff. at the end of the party he was back on his feets and I told I wanted to get close with him, but he refused and said he was straight and I was a mess after that.
A month after I went to this friend party on her house and he was there and all the feelings returned in a hint. so we awkwardly talked and I laid next to him on the bed we were on and he set his arms around me (OMG I DIED) and then other people came to ruin the moment, ugh. after that I left the room and went talk to my friends. Later he was a wreck and brooke the glass of a desk and he was so embarrassed that he left the place, I went after him and stayed downstairs on the streets (she lives in a apartament) talking and trying to comfort him, but then again nothing happened. at the end he just gave me a long nice hug.
I never saw him before that (it was last year) and I moved on by now. The only thing I could take from this experience was a increase of mine low self estim lol.
crushes are such a pain in the ass, but lovely to feel anyway.
ps: my friends said he is gay/or bi, but I don't know. I didn't insisted anymore, bc it I would feel and look like a creepy idiot.
and now I have a new crush... Basically he's a beautiful Chinese guy, really funny and caring, but he already has a girlfriend 
so I sat next to him. Throughout the night whenever I came back to the table he'd put his arm around me/resting on chair back. So yea we talked between ourselves basically ignoring everyone else pretty much the entire time, serving eye contact and everything (lordT his gaze is breathtaking). 
and he always asks sweet **** like, "have you ate yet?", "did you sleep well last night" etc. He's visiting family at the moment for the last few days and he's still made an effort to call me. 
, like I actually don't care about his GF 
He was so adorable and kind. Then during the middle/end of the year he became a mess. He turned so mean to everyone and became thristy 
I kind of do miss him tbh. Even tho he was an asshole, I know he only acted like that cause his friends pressured him too. He's a sweet guy deep down. I really can't wait to see him when school starts (I'm really nervous too). 
It's toxic but I can't help it.
