[WARNING: This **** is ****ing long. If you don't want to read every intricate detail of how I spent my prom night, read Buy_Me_A_Drink's
extremely abridged version of practically the same story. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.]
Yeah, so... flashback to Wednesday morning.
I was satisfied because I didn't have to go to school. You only had to come in if you needed to claim your prom tickets or senior yearbook, and since my too-cool-for-school ass didn't pay or qualify for either (I'm regretting not getting the latter), I slept in till like 11:00.
1:00 - 3:00 P.M.: I get various phone calls from Erica (Buy_me_a_drink) and Jessenia (the J in her variation of prom night) cementing the final plans for our "AntiProm" (none of us went to an actual prom).
3:00 P.M.: I go get a hair cut. I later realize that my barber must have been either scratching his ass or smoking a cigarette, 'cause this nasty ass smell lingered on me long after.
5:00 P.M.: I shower after several more calls from Erica and Jessenia. After that, I iron my clothes, and pop in Girl Talk's
Night Ripper album into my stereo, and wait on the couch until 6.
6:00 P.M.: I begin to get dressed, and also start worrying that Erica, Jessenia and Meryam (the M in Erica's variation) won't arrive at my house on time.
7:00 P.M.: They don't. Erica's hair gets messed up and Jessenia/Meryam (traveling together) are trying to figure out a means of getting to my house from Queens Center Mall. Already dressed and all prepeared, I begin to panic.
8:00 P.M.: I get the call from Jessenia and Meryam, they are waiting for me at the train station, but I blew them off a couple of minutes so I could finish watching Eve's "Tambourine" music video. I mean, hey, I did wait for them over an hour!
They hide from me near the MetroCard machines and after laughing at their stupidity, we walk to my house. We get to my home, and I introduce them to my parents. After that, all three of us, still waiting for Erica, sit on the couch and watch various ******** to kill time, like marveling at the shittiness of Shop Boyz' "Party Like A Rockstar" and wondering why Kelly Clarkson's "Never Again" was being played on MTV tr3s.
9:00 P.M.: Meryam, Jessenia and I decide to leave my house and wait outside for Erica since it was getting late. I start to get really ****ing pissed since we're already two hours behind schedule. We wait on 75th Street (two blocks away from my house) and I seriously begin to start losing it. I'm not that much of a patient person. :-/
9:30 P.M.: Erica finally arrives. And with her as company, a special illegal substance (*coughHAZEcough*)!!!!! All is forgiven, and AntiProm commences.
9:31 P.M. - 11:15-ish P.M.: Erica, Jessenia, and Meryam all follow me to my usual bodega. I buy a 6-pack of Coronas (that just how we roll in spic neigborhoods
), I buy two dutches, and we finally head to a park three blocks on the other side of Jamaica Ave. to initiate the debauchery.
Once at the park, we choose to chill on this flight of steps far enough so passerby don't notice what we're doing (I was the only adult among three minors, yet I still couldn't drink or smoke weed, obviously). We open the bag of Coronas and realize that none of us have a can opener in our possession.
****.
But, Erica, being the supehero that she is, managed to find a way to open five out of the six Corona bottles my lodging the tops into this crack on the staircase and then finally screwing it off on a different crack. She also managed to save the day after I ruined one of the two dutches I bought and a cigarette Jessenia had given me by unrolling the dutch, picking apart the buds and rolling it back up again. All with her beer tainted hands.
Thank you, hero of the day.
Anyway, so yeah, it was Meryam's first time drinking, so she was bouncing of the walls or rather stuttering of the walls ("ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-take-a-picture of me and Christian!" LMAO). She kept asking how she knew if she was drunk yet to which Jessenia repeatedly responded "You'll just know", while puffing away on stoges and drinking one of the Coronas.
It was Jessenia's first time smoking weed, but she wasn't bugging like Meryam was. We (Erica & me) only started to notice a reaction once we got on the J & E trains...
After nearly an hour and a half, I had smoked part of a cigarette (and I
hate cigarettes, smoked a Black & Mild (I liked that little whistle **** at the end Erica), smoked weed, drank 1.5 Corona bottles and spat up a storm cause I was holding way too much **** in my lungs. We finally made our exit showtune style down the stairs (2 people walking while the other two were half-drunkenly pausing at random stairs).
Oh and before I forget, the quote of the night, made by Meryam (beer-happy): "You guys, why is it so much easier to go down downhill than up downhill?"
Classic.
11:15-ish P.M.-2:00 A.M. (Thursday): We board a Jamaica Center bound J train. Meryam and Jessenia, ****ed up, sit 3/4 asleep on one side of this Mexican man wearing a yellow shirt and Erica and I sit on the other, dividing the group into drunk, and relatively sober. We get off at Sutphin Boulevard to transfer to an Manhattan bound E train. I acted as the grown chaperone making sure all the girls were with me at all times, usually in front, sans Erica 'cause her feet were killing her. After laughing, diagnosing conditions, and taking pictures of Jessenia and Meryam sleeping in the aisle across from us, Erica and I notice two cops at the other end of the train. Luckily enough, none of us were that incoherent and the cops get off the train anyway.
After what seemed like hours on the train, we finally reached our destination of 42 St- Times Square to eat dinner. But first, of course, a pitstop: this one at a McDonald's so the girls and me could pee to get prepared for dinner and our respective clubs afterwards. Meryam bought fries saying that she wasn't all that hungry, and ditching us to go to her club, DuVel or whatever the **** it was called. After at least 15 minutes, we had all had our tinkle time and the three of us remaining continued or trek to Applebee's...
...which was closed.
****.
Kinda discouraged, me, Erica and Jessenia walked around Times Square at 1 in the morning on a non-holiday Wednesday looking for a nice, dine-in restaurant. Like Red Lobster!! (
closed.) or the Olive Garden (
closed.). Now looking back at it, the whole prospect was kind of delusional: I mean, c'mon Erica, who in New York eats that much at 1 in the morning on a Wednesday night with multiple people? Exactly. We were just that hype for some good ol' Applebees though.
After running into three of our classmates, (one headed to Copacabana) and going to Duane Reade so Erica could get powder and stockings for her darned, tired feet, we called it a day and settled for a 24-hr McDonald's. I, being the hungry ass that I am, ordered two Big Macs, two large fries, an order of mozzarella sticks and a drink (I hadn't eaten all day, sheesh!) to keep me going until the final part of the night. Somewhere during this period Jessenia and I realized that neither of us knew what Copacabana's actual address was. [Erica was going to Roxy.]
Thank god for 411, no?
After we'd all finished our food, we decided to take one cab to our clubs, so Jessenia and I split the bill to Copa on 34th St, and after that, Erica headed to Roxy on 52nd. The 2nd part of our night had ended.
2:00 A.M.-3:30 A.M.-ish: Me and Jessenia arrive at Copacabana. We're about to enter when Jessenia remembers that she still had that sixth unopened Corona bottle in her bag. I take it out and, still in its plastic bag, leave it under a tree. Then we enter, paying the $50[!] entrance fee. The dancefloor was packed and the club itself was overflowing with people. I had to keep Jessenia awake, and happy being that she was [already] falling asleep and groggy. Kinda bored, we made our way through the dancefloor three times (we must have looked dumb) looking for my friend, who said she was going to be there. I found other people that I recognized, but none close enough to me to make me wanna party with them.
I was getting disenchanted at this point. The floor was packed, Jessenia was grumpy, the music was pumping, and there was nobody I really knew (that was visible) there.
After missing various opportunities to dance
(
- Jim Jones, "We Fly High"
- Bell Biv Devoe, "Poison"
- Tony Matterhorn, "Dutty Wine"
- Mr. Vegas, "Hot ****"
- Elephant Man, "Father Elephant") ,
I was just about to call it a day when the savior song came on the speakers: Aventura's "Mi Corazoncito" (hence its 12 spot jump on my countdown
). Now me and Jessenia are both Hispanic and both loved this song, so, I made it my duty to push her into the crowd and
make her dance , which she did. We danced all the bachata and merengue (Spanish genres of music) songs they played until they ended our little party by playing salsa, which neither of us knew how to dance. After a good 7 minutes of what seemed like the same neverending song, we left. We walked to Broadway and hopped a cap to 14th St which would drop us off at the L train.
5:30 A.M.: Waaaaaaay too long story short
, I got home and so ended the undisputed best night of my life.