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Discussion: Being a minority in the gay community.
Banned
Member Since: 2/22/2012
Posts: 3,968
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Quote:
Originally posted by uhoh-ohno
This is odd coming from a "black" man. Usually, in topics revolving around race and attraction, blackness is often stereotyped as being hyper-masculine, and thus black men enjoy a privileged status in the dating market when compared to their female counterparts (which explains interracial dating trends). Of course, I'm looking at this from a heterosexual perspective. You mean to tell me it's different in the LGBT community ?
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I am about 70% fem and 30% masculine if that makes sense, and I guess it depends on were you live if it changes. Some black guys have no problems in the gay dating circuit at all so
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Member Since: 11/20/2011
Posts: 3,275
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To all you people talking about preferences, keep in mind that our preferences aren't shaped in a vacuum. There's a reason why interracial pairings skew towards certain trends and it isn't because of mere "preference."
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Member Since: 3/4/2012
Posts: 16,176
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Quote:
Originally posted by Reza
Shut up bitch. He just wants to have a conversation about his situation. If you don't like it, leave!
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Drag, gurl
Personally, I'm white but I'd never rule out dating someone just because of their race. I'm open to anyone, really.
I'd just advise you not to worry about this. You will find someone who loves you, and they won't care about your race.
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Member Since: 4/17/2012
Posts: 330
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Quote:
Originally posted by CoolestPerson12
Birds of a feather flock together. Its not racism, people will always hang around people who share a common thing. And race and ethnicity is something common that people will share. Humans are naturally built that way, look around in the world, and people who are similar always hang around each other. And that includes dating also, people will more likely date someone who looks like them in race and attractiveness. That's humans.
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I just find it strange. I'm friends with people who have the same kinds of fun I do. I'm a video game nerd, so a lot of my friends are video game nerds too. I'm not saying you're wrong, and what you say definitely has some weigh to it, as despite me saying that, I will admit, a majority of my friends are white (though I'm not sure why, as I don't intentionally seek out other white people to be friends with or anything retarded like that...)
I will say that it's easier for me to be friends with people who have similar culture backgrounds to myself, being that my parents are your typical ex-hippies, most of my friends have similar parents, and also grew up atheist, etc... but what I meant with that other post was that the Castro DEFINITELY carries a stronger racial charge to that than what you and I are talking about... maybe it's because I live here and have been to the Castro many times, but Castro clones (all wearing similar outfits, all with faux hawks, etc...) are in general VERY condescending to the black and Asian groups. I'm not the only one of my friends that sees this, either. Sometimes there's even very blatant racism...
But I do get what you're saying, and I do think that in a lot of cases, you are right, it's very much a harmless unintentional thing. But that does not mean there aren't a lot of racist bastards out there who think being white makes them superior :\.
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Member Since: 10/10/2009
Posts: 10,662
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Quote:
Originally posted by WIG-SNATCHER
Is it weird that I see racism im the gay community WAY MORE than anywhere else.?And I grew up in the south.
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Where do you live though? I ask because region and culture heavily determine what issues you'll experience as a minority, gay or otherwise.
For example, I hit the gay clubs in the castro (SF) nearly every weekend and always leave with either a number or "date" from (hot) guys of any race, including white. Oh, and I'm black. Before I hit the gay scene I heard about all the discrimination & was slightly insecure but I've come to realize that, at least here, discrimination is more an exception than any rule.
I think a lot of it has to do with a persons mindset as well. If you constantly think that no one's interested in you due to your race, then you'll scrutinize (subconciously) every rejection or dismissal to make it fit that belief.
Does discrimination exist? Yes. Should you live life as a victim to it? NO. Go out and live.
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Member Since: 4/3/2011
Posts: 7,281
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Actually i can understand what you feel. We were talking about this topic on a french gay forum the other day and that one indu guy came and said "I find black people ugly physically". I was like child sit your ugly oriental ass down, cause i'm certainly hotter, beautiful and intelligent than you will never be ! Physically, mentaly and spiritualy" Some people are just ignorants without being aware of that.
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Member Since: 5/4/2011
Posts: 2,464
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Quote:
Originally posted by uhoh-ohno
To all you people talking about preferences, keep in mind that our preferences aren't shaped in a vacuum. There's a reason why interracial pairings skew towards certain trends and it isn't because of mere "preference."
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It's a preference, it's just a preference that was potentially heavily crafted by media influence.
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Banned
Member Since: 2/22/2012
Posts: 3,968
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Quote:
Originally posted by Reza
Shut up bitch. He just wants to have a conversation about his situation. If you don't like it, leave!
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Thank you. Everytime someone tries to seek help here is always that person who has to say something ignorant instead of simply disagreeing privately and leaving the thread.
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Member Since: 5/4/2011
Posts: 2,464
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ainsworth
Drag, gurl
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Not a single drag occurred.
Quote:
Originally posted by WIG-SNATCHER
Thank you. Everytime someone tries to seek help here is always that person who has to say something ignorant instead of simply disagreeing privately and leaving the thread.
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Nothing I said was ignorant and I'm free to disagree publicly and discuss my disagreement. That's what the forum is for, after all. Try again maybe?
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Member Since: 3/4/2012
Posts: 16,176
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Quote:
Originally posted by FreeBitch
Actually i can understand what you feel. We were talking about this topic on a french gay forum the other day and that one indu guy came and said "I find black people ugly physically". I was like child sit your ugly oriental ass down, cause i'm certainly hotter, beautiful and intelligent than you will never be ! Physically, mentaly and spiritualy" Some people are just ignorants without being aware of that.
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Oh?
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Banned
Member Since: 2/22/2012
Posts: 3,968
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Quote:
Originally posted by inspiration4
Where do you live though? I ask because region and culture heavily determine what issues you'll experience as a minority, gay or otherwise.
For example, I hit the gay clubs in the castro (SF) nearly every weekend and always leave with either a number or "date" from (hot) guys of any race, including white. Oh, and I'm black. Before I hit the gay scene I heard about all the discrimination & was slightly insecure but I've come to realize that, at least here, discrimination is more an exception than any rule.
I think a lot of it has to do with a persons mindset as well. If you constantly think that no one's interested in you due to your race, then you'll scrutinize (subconciously) every rejection or dismissal to make it fit that belief.
Does discrimination exist? Yes. Should you live life as a victim to it? NO. Go out and live.
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i am inspired. thank you so much for the uplifting sis.
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Member Since: 4/17/2012
Posts: 330
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Quote:
Originally posted by inspiration4
Where do you live though? I ask because region and culture heavily determine what issues you'll experience as a minority, gay or otherwise.
For example, I hit the gay clubs in the castro (SF) nearly every weekend and always leave with either a number or "date from (hot) guys of any race, including white. Oh, and I'm black. Before I hit the gay scene I heard about all the discrimination & was slightly insecure but I've come to realize that, at least here, discrimination is more an exception than any rule.
I think a lot of it has to do with a persons mindset as well. If you constantly think that no one's interested in you due to your race, then you'll scrutinize (subconciously) every rejection or dismissal to make it fit that belief.
Does discrimination exist? Yes. Should you live life as a victim to it? NO. Go out and live.
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I am glad to hear this. A vast majority of my friends are straight men, so I have always wanted to hear the view of the Castro from a black guy, and I'm glad to hear that racism is the exception rather than the rule in your experience. And I'm sure you're right, a majority of people are cool, but assholes are usually louder than everyone else and get the most attention I suppose
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Member Since: 12/28/2010
Posts: 26,529
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Quote:
Originally posted by FreeBitch
Actually i can understand what you feel. We were talking about this topic on a french gay forum the other day and that one indu guy came and said "I find black people ugly physically". I was like child sit your ugly oriental ass down, cause i'm certainly hotter, beautiful and intelligent than you will never be ! Physically, mentaly and spiritualy" Some people are just ignorants without being aware of that.
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this is sad
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Member Since: 9/21/2010
Posts: 29,122
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There's something called BGC.
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Member Since: 4/6/2011
Posts: 31,849
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Quote:
Originally posted by WIG-SNATCHER
Thank you. Everytime someone tries to seek help here is always that person who has to say something ignorant instead of simply disagreeing privately and leaving the thread.
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Your welcome boo.
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Member Since: 11/20/2011
Posts: 3,275
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Quote:
Originally posted by WIG-SNATCHER
I am about 70% fem and 30% masculine if that makes sense, and I guess it depends on were you live if it changes. Some black guys have no problems in the gay dating circuit at all so
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I think those guys you see with the "no blacks allowed" internet profiles may just be garden variety racists who may think that you're stupid or low rent or something on account of your skin color, like someone suggested earlier.
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Member Since: 12/28/2010
Posts: 26,529
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Quote:
Originally posted by Deemy
There's something called BGC.
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what is this??
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Member Since: 5/15/2012
Posts: 752
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Okay, me, being completely mixed with black and white, I've never felt like people classify me as either black, nor white. I'm mixed 50/50, and I personally find black guys better looking than white, but there are also many white guys that I find really attractive.
I just feel like there's nothing wrong with people have preferences, and only being attracted to a certain race.
I'm a ****, so just about anybody who's cute with a **** will satisfy me. But I don't know, that's just me
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Banned
Member Since: 2/22/2012
Posts: 3,968
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It is difficult to discuss with someone because I only have like 5 gay friends who are males. Almost all of my male friends are straight
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Member Since: 12/3/2011
Posts: 11,947
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Quote:
Originally posted by FreeBitch
Actually i can understand what you feel. We were talking about this topic on a french gay forum the other day and that one indu guy came and said "I find black people ugly physically". I was like child sit your ugly oriental ass down, cause i'm certainly hotter, beautiful and intelligent than you will never be ! Physically, mentaly and spiritualy" Some people are just ignorants without being aware of that.
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I mean, is what you did any better?
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