We all have eyes, right? And can tell that puppet looks like a cracked out Chris Martin, right? And nothing in the plot makes sense, I have no idea why a karaoke scene is added and I didn't need to see Ed kiss his own puppet. Drunken straight British tradition or not.
24
Beachin'
Jake Owen
I jus find it sooooooooooooooooo boring and on the nose. Again. Like, can we try something else? Or not make it look like a Daytona Beach commercial since Daytona NEVER LOOKS LIKE THIS?!?!
23
Confident
Justin Bieber (ft. Chance the Rapper)
Seriously, no one ever needs to see you body roll. Shirtless. Ever. Never ever.
But at least you shaved your face?
22
LA Love (La La La)
Fergie (ft. YG)
I'm actually rather shocked how, in this era of going after cultural appropriation, NO ONE HAS POINTED OUT THE OBVIOUS CHARACTAURES THAT ARE IN THIS MESS OF A VIDEO. Seriously Fergie, what the hell were you thinking.
21
Loyal
Chris Brown (ft. Lil' Wayne and Tyga)
THe dancing...oh the dancing. And the wardrobe. It's like whoever did the set up for the video hates Chris as much as I do.
20
Midnight Memories
One Direction
Never....never ever try to make the boys be "spontaneous" again. It doesn't work, since they can't act or look like normal humans.
19
Talk Dirty
Jason DeRulo (ft. 2 Chains)
I....I just hate it.
Really, that's it. The dancing is stupid, the plot is nonexistent, I don't ever want to see Jason try to lay down game.
18
Sexercize
Kylie Minogue
Yes yes yes she still got it. But the desperation reeking from this video is so pungent. And so not Kylie. Like, I could see Madonna or Gaga going this blunt but Kylie tends to toe the line well and in all the various versions of this video she crosses it so hard that I'm shocked it was her idea at all.
17
Thinking Out Loud
Ed Sheeran
It makes the list thanks to a camera that lovingly follows a woman's ass as she rolls up Ed's leg. Seriously, did they splurge the budget on the set and dance lessons so they couldn't buy her a dress?
16
Rewind
Rascal Flatts
Wow, the editing is horrible. Like really horrible. And the acting is worse. And somehow this becomes boring as hell, cuz no one needs a country dating Groundhog's Day.
15
Ride
SoMo
Who the hell is SoMo? And who gave him a budget to reenact his stalker fantasy? And deprived him of a razor. This is just comically bad (today was the first day I watched this video since March and I completely forgot how bad it is).
14
Sun Daze
Florida Georgia Line
No. We don't need your Office Space parody. Or Beats by Dre ad. Or either of you shirtless.
13
Drink To That All Night
Jerrod Niemann
Play this. Look at the stupid visuals. It's like a bad Avicii videos, right? Harmless but dumb as hell.
Then remember this went to #1 on country radio. Then play this again. THIS WAS A #1 SONG THIS YEAR ON COUNTRY RADIO.
Now play the video again and not punch something.
12
Papaoutai
Pentatonix (ft. Lindsey Stirling)
NO.
NO.
NO.
STEP AWAY FROM GOOD SONGS WITH YOUR **** EDITING AND OBNOXIOUS VOCAL TICKS. AND DOLLS DON'T LOOK LIKE THIS ANYMORE! AND TRY ACTUALLY EDITING THE CGI COMPOSISTE SHOTS RIGHT!
Sorry, I cannot stand Pentatonix.
11
This Is How We Roll
Florida Georgia Line (ft. Luke Bryan)
Did we really need the "Cruise" sequel this soon?
10
Mmmm Yeah
Austin Mahone (ft. Pitbull)
Bitch you ain't Jamiroquai. Do something else. And maybe actually work on the dancing cuz you are slow as hell and that's not impressive.
And Pitbull, I know a check is a check but really?
09
Break Free
Ariana Grande
Ok Barbarella...no.
08
Looking For That Girl
Tim McGraw
Did...did Avicii actually make country music this year? Tim's video are usually harmless but the poor use of stage and blending of the backing shots is on par with "Something Kinda Oooooh!" is laziness.
07
Achy Breaky 2
Buck 22 (ft. Billy Ray Cyrus)
Really Larry King, are you that hard up for cash? As for the video. Well it's using duct tape well? But wow this video was made sheerly to go viral and it failed. Charted for a week (thatnks Billboard -_-) but failed otherwise.
06
Dark Horse
Katy Perry (ft. Juicy J)
I'll give them credit for the Memphis setting idea, since Juicy J and all. But SERIOUSLY KATY? THIS WAS THE BEST YOU COULD COME UP WITH? The colors are crap, the makeup and costuming is cheaper than usual the CGI is hysterical and I can't figure out why the hell you dragged a song I sorta like in this direction.
05
Booty
Jennifer Lopez (ft. Iggy Azalea)
This is just a greasy mess.
04
Wiggle
Jason DeRule (ft. Snoop Dogg)
Really Jason? Really? An ice luge down some girl's ass. And poor dancing. And worse cop dancing? And useless Snoop.
03
Bottom's Up
Brantley Gilbert
And this is what happens when roids meets Prohibition.
02
I Luh Ya Papi
Jennifer Lopez (ft.
If you want to do "reverse sexism" and shoot it from the male gaze AND skimp around in stupid outfits sort of defeats the purpose. As does the appearance of French Montana.
01
Birthday
Katy Perry
Oh my hell this is bad. Bad makeup, badly staged incidents, the poor fake animals killed, the poor kids, the poor grandpa experiencing his first hardon in years. bad song. Just bad bad bad.
Sing there I can't stand that music video! (or the song... or Ed Sheeran ) and the same for his other single
LA Love (La La La)... I'm not the biggest fan of the music video, but I don't think it's that bad
Birthday, well deserved #1! The most boring music video of 2014
So the list for today may be pushed to tomorrow due to work calling em in and being stuck all through the middle of the day. We shall see what mood I'm in come 9 o'clock...
There's one video that I actually disagree with you on: "Break Free". That vid is purposefully bad. If it was just bad on its own accord, that would be one thing, but the whole video is so tongue-in-cheek that it feels like everyone is in on the joke. Or maybe that's just me.
Not major commenting this time around just due to time and whatnot. It's more of a list of songs I like I either shouldn't like, or I like and have no place on my Best Of list to place it. The higher up the song, the more weird I feel about liking it.
50 Lost On The Way Home, Chromeo (ft. Solange)
Where the hell is the video for this?!?!?!?!
49 Oceans, Hillsong
Not a Christian in the slightest but this song (yes it's 8 minutes) is probably one of the best Christian songs I have heard.
48 Love Me Harder, Ariana Grande (ft. The Weeknd)
47 Break Free, Ariana Grande (ft. Zedd)
Can we have a solo single?
46 Blank Space, Taylor Swift
I know she "says" it;s a joke song about Saylor Twift, the media's perception of Taylor. But methinks there's a nugget or four of truth to the narrative. It's too real to be perfectly fake.
45 Sugar Free, T-ARA
I tend to be hit or miss with Korea's favorite punching bags but this (thanks Dvbbs and Felix) is pure magic.
44 Bang Bang, Jessie J (ft. Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj)
There should only be one singer on this (not Jessie. Or Ariana) and Nicki's lyrics mean nothing in context but otherwise I love it.
43 Fireball, Pitbull (ft. John )
Dumb and Pittbull-by-numbers, but the video is rather genious
42 Westcoast, Lana Del Rey
I think it's the first time I "got" Lana.
41 7/11, Beyonce
I love it. No lie. Yes it's dumb as hell but Beyonce finally shows a touch of personality
40 Stupid Little Things, Anastacia
Glad she's recovered from cancer again!
39 Super Love, Dami Im
Best song from an X-Factor debut?
38 Sexy Love, Kylie Minogue
The superior of the three "sexy" songs on Kiss Me Once which...ugh, that album should have been split in two and half should have been thrown away.
37 Freaks, Timmy Trumpets
There's not a damn trumpet on this dance song but I wanna see someone do a proper video for it.
36 My Slowanie, Donatan (ft. Cleo)
The second star of Eurovision, Poland and their glorious boobies were robbed by the juries.
35 Style, Taylor Swift
Hey, she can sometimes not be horrible.
34 You & I, One Direction
I...I legitimately like this song. Huh.
33 Nobody To Love, Sigma
Taking an interpolation of the basis for Kanye's "Bound 2" and synching with a sexy riff. Nice!
32 Dare, Shakira
Dumb as hell videos aside, the song is a banger and deserves a better video.
31 Chisa'Bounce, M.I.B.
While they have no clear identity (thank k-pop industry), this is a clever and sick beat that works far better than it should. Video's a mess but it's Korea so whatever I guess.
30 We Are Tonight, Billy Currington
His best song. Ever. Ever ever. And written by country radio's EDM-and-Mraz poster boy Sam Hunt (more on him later this week).
29 Red Lights, Tiesto
Tiesto killed his dj style and went Avicii, adding actual instruments and emotion. And this is major. Far better than "Wasted" (but not as good as the raw "Take Me" from last year) Tiesto's having a second renaissance right now.
28 Dirt, Florida Georgia Line
...even a broken clock is right once in a while.
27 This Is How We Do, Katy Perry
Try as she might to annoy the hell out of me, this was a welcome release.
26No Mediocre, T.I. ft. Iggy Azealia
Iggy Iggy is useful! T.I. sounds actually interested in whatever he's going on about! Another!!
The Solange/Chromeo song was by far the best on the album, shame most of it was kinda meh to me
Blank Space is good, I liked Shake It Off more at first but Blank Space has more staying power.
I agree about Sexy Love.... I felt like I was the only one who thought it was the saving grace of that wretched album.
And then I did a flash mob to Dare and am gonna do a karaoke/lip sync performance of No Mediocre with my friend... so I suppose I have to like them?
25 Whatcha Doin' Today, 4Minute
I'm surprised I like this as much as I do, as I find 4Minute sort of useless. I blame the beat.
24 #SELFIE, The Chainsmokers
Also known as "conversations Mikal has had, been a part of, or listened to while out in the GaYbor scene, 2010-2012."
23 Girl In A Country Song, Maddie & Tae
Well, someone needed to point out the inherent stupidity of bro country. And lord knows it wasn't going to be a guy.
22 On The Run (Part II), Jay Z and Beyonce
It's her hook, really.
21 If I Could Change Your Mind, HAIM
Where I finally got HAIM and gave them a second chance after writing them off last year.
20 Sleeping With A Friend, Neon Trees
Where their cartoonish nature actually works
19 Alfonso Signorini, Fedez
A trippy song. In Italian. Cuz I'm so cultured #atrlproblems
18 You And Me, You + Me
I think P!nk needs to go more in this direction.
17 Anaconda, Nicki Minaj
Yes yes the last minute is problematic. And the song is lazy as hell. But I love it so.
16 Taxi, M
Something else in Korean! This time sounding sleazy and drunk!
15 Follow Your Arrow, Kacey Musgrave
While now knowing she's a pothead is nice, the song is one of those that traditional country USED to do - message songs that don't mesh with the country narrative to show that is is more than radio wants/demands it to be.
14 Everything I Shouldn't Be Thinking About, Thompson Square
This country duo usually does sappy schlock but on this 50s-tinged number it works. They really should consider moving towards a rockabilly sound, it works with their harmonies and would stand out against the Nashville noise.
13 Up Down, T-Pain
I did not know I missed T-Pain...
12 Paranoid, Ty Dolla Sign
I find this almost as entrancing as I did Frank Ocean's "Novacane." Ty's follow-ups have been lacking but "Paranoid" showed much promise.
11 I Hold On, Dierks Bentley
Dierks here gave himself a second wind with some leit country. And then saw his bro country track take off on radio. Because country hates me.
10 Moustace, Twin Twin
France's Eurovision entry may have finished last but it's still in the top ten of my heart.
09 Ain't It Fun, Paramore
That final two minutes is useless but as a kiss-off to the former bandmates it's delightfully malicious while sounding cute, coy and anything else Haley Williams wanted it to be.
08 Get Down, James Arthur
His tweets to a former X Factor contestant (who is a lesbian) pretty much torpedo'd his career. Which is a bit of a shame, as his voice here works better than on anything he had done before. But we don't need another white British homophobe on the radio.
07 Talk Dirty, Jason DeRulo ft. 2 Chains
I love a lazy sax. I love 2 Chains. I love that "suck my penis" made it into a lyric. I love how dumb everyone on this was to allow "Asian tokenism" to be used for the intro/outro. I love that Jason remembered to use his name to start a song. This mess is horrible but I love it.
06 Na Na, Trey Songz
Honestly this song is lazy. Lazy lazy lazy. As is "Touchin' Lovin'" and "Foreign." But I love the sample and Trey does sound good on it. But I think he's better than his material.
05 Nasty, Pixie Lott
Well Pixie tried her career again and while it didn't quite work it was still a lovely attempt.
04 Show Me, Kid Ink ft. Chris Brown
Chris can choke for all I care but I really like Kid Ink and really like this song. I have no idea why.
03 Chocolate, The 1975
I'm not sure why they are the popular pick to pick on in the music scene (besides their inherent derivativeness and the fact everyone in rock has done their sound better) but they should have had more success with this.
02 Turn Down For What, DJ Snake ft. Lil' Jon
I don't even feel guilty liking this, even with it having ten words. The beat is intense!
01 Shower, Becky G
I also don't feel guilty about this. She hits all the right spots about young love and it's cute!
Fireball & SIO are my guilty pleasures too!
I love "Nobody To Love".
"Shower" is amazing too She's not playing this time, the music she has released recently is good!
Sleeping With A Friend & Selfie are my favorites from the last set
Do It Again is great! Young Girls & Latch are good too. Take Me To Church is my favorite song from this set
Glory and Gore one of my favorite songs from Pure Heroine. Reflections I love that song! hope it's a future hit.
The Waves remix my 2nd favorite from this set, and I really love Faded
but it was indeed a horrible video. 
I can't stand that music video! (or the song... or Ed Sheeran 
) and the same 
Hey, Sing's here. That's my favorite.
She's not playing this time, the music she has released recently is good!
I love that song! hope it's a future hit.