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Tournament: PLΔTINUM HIT 7
ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 43,104
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Quote:
Originally posted by Truth Teller
Fefe's reviews are also coming tonight  |
So results are tomorrow? 
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 41,181
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Quote:
Originally posted by ClarksonSlays
So results are tomorrow? |
I've been ready for them since Friday night, but the judges needed more time and the semi-finals is not the right time to tell them to rush-read, so... 
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 43,104
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Quote:
Originally posted by Truth Teller
I've been ready for them since Friday night, but the judges needed more time and the semi-finals is not the right time to tell them to rush-read, so... |
nnn 
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 41,181
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Quote:
Originally posted by ClarksonSlays
nnn |
If it's any consolation, there literally aren't any clear results so far, so we'll have to wait for the other judges to actually have an actual ranking 
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Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 30,915
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Member Since: 8/31/2013
Posts: 21,462
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Quote:
Originally posted by ClarksonSlays
He should grow his hair back out a biT.
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He has to have it that short because he's filming the new season of Kingdom right now 
Quote:
Originally posted by keshaspearsxo
You are!
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fff 
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Member Since: 8/31/2013
Posts: 21,462
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Matty, Lordt, why don't you just read the entire song before writing your review?  Half of the review becomes irrelevant by the time you get to the end 
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 41,181
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Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
Matty, Lordt, why don't you just read the entire song before writing your review? Half of the review becomes irrelevant by the time you get to the end |
It should have been Tymps., king Bloom, you and I tbh. Too late to get rid of him though
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Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 30,915
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Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
Matty, Lordt, why don't you just read the entire song before writing your review? Half of the review becomes irrelevant by the time you get to the end |
Nope they are super helpful 
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Member Since: 8/31/2013
Posts: 21,462
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Quote:
Originally posted by keshaspearsxo
Nope they are super helpful |
I'll keep that in mind when I write your review for next week. Here's a sneak peek:
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The first line is the best. No wait, the second line is so great. The chorus is good. I take back what I said because I got to the end of the chorus and it's cringe-worthy. I also take back what I said about the second line because the fourteenth line is really the best line of the song.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 12,615
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Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
I'll keep that in mind when I write your review for next week. Here's a sneak peek:
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You forgot to point out a word that you feel is slightly awk to be used in a song, such as "scar", "blink", or "tungsten".
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 41,181
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ClarksonSlays
 The Story (feat. Era)I like the first verse and pre-chorus, although “put you inside” is a little awk. The second verse isn’t as strong as the first, mostly because it includes a bunch of cliche language and also doesn’t really develop the song in a new way; each part of the song feels somewhat repetitive thematically. IDK, this was cute but doesn’t really stand out at this late stage of the game.
Love Her
I’m not sure if using my favorite song lyrically as your blueprint song was a good or bad idea  but I think this is stronger than The Story. I find the similarity to Sara in the 2nd part of the 1st verse a little suspicious, but overall I think you capture the message of the original song in your own way. My favorite line is the “If I give you my dreams” line. My biggest problem with you at this stage is that you have minor disruptions in rhythm or awkward word choices that keep the songs from being 10s. “Wrapped in trees” for example (weird verb), or “comes with its cost” in the bridge (the words don’t flow together well), or “make you stay for awhile,” which works better without the “for.”
Lost Birds
I love the title. Not sure what’s going on rhythmically here since the verses are so different (both internally and to one another), but I like the chorus a lot except for the really easy rhyming in the last three lines. But I like the imagery/concept and think this is your strongest EP track. My favorite part is the “I hear you…saw you last” in the 2nd verse. Again, the rhyming in the 2nd verse feels too simple and the “But I won’t let you...” line is really off rhythmically. I appreciate the development in the bridge.
EuphorianSea
Ballerina
I really liked the pre-chorus until it got to the last line. Same for the chorus. Why do you end good sections with a random, tonally flat line? Anyway, this song didn’t feel like a big hit single to me, perhaps because it isn’t completely thematically cohesive. The verses set up this figure to be just about everything ever. The general theme is that this person is admired by others but doesn’t have much self-worth, but that isn’t applied consistently and the ending feels a little easy (when suddenly they can see it). Besides from a couple exceptions (scarlet), the rhyming felt natural and the song flowed well enough.
Paradox
This was the weakest song on your EP for me, mostly because a lot of the language is familiar/cliche. While I appreciate the cute references to your blueprint song (another one of my faves!), they don’t always work and some of the language feels a bit wordy (like the paradox stuff in the chorus). I guess the song doesn’t feel particularly ~real~ and more like a writing assignment than something that you wrote with passion or interest.
Shy
The pre-chorus is the best thing ever. It’s odd because some of the lyrics are really enjoyable and I’m glad to see you branching out a bit subject-wise, but then other lines are just as baffling as one might expect (like the eggs line). The chorus isn’t as strong as the verses. Side-note: Do all of your songs need a changed final chorus? You rely on that trick a little too much.
keshaspearsxo
Rose Body
Was this title inspired by Ocean Lips?  I like the rhythm throughout but don’t really love the actual lyrics; they feel a bit forced into the rhythm and I guess I’m just personally not all that excited by sort of vague, cryptic lines. Some of them also just don’t make sense (I never caught the warn). I read this as a techno song and both the staccato pace and vague lyrics make me think that this wouldn’t really be a hit single.
Possibility
I like this more than Rose Body, though I think it shares a weakness with it; the vague lyrics that I can’t get a grasp on. How are y’all roaming a mirage? “Anew” isn’t an adjective. If you’re jumping away and going off to find new lands, why does the chorus end with “join back to discover”? Discover what? That said, it has this issue less of the time and the song has some really strong parts, like the hook and some of the bridge.
Oblivion (feat. conatus)
This was my favorite track on your EP. The rhyming felt more natural, the chorus was simple but worked well, and most of the lines made sense. I love how y’all used the first person plural in a collaboration. I don’t understand what “We follow demand” means or why you had to say it 100 times, but the bridge is cute otherwise and the repetition throughout the song works well. This sounds like it could be a minor hit on rock radio
lovesong
Wilderness
Oh, are you a fellow Nick Jonas stan?  Anyway, this song is amazing. You set the scene so well in the first verse and the chorus develops the theme in such a natural and graceful way. The rhythm flows well and the rhyming feels natural. The first half of the chorus is probably my favorite thing you’ve submitted. Your songwriting feels inspired by Taylor (perhaps because of some key word choices and the imagery) but not like a rip-off, which I really appreciate. I def think this could be a hit and am now a little scared that if you make it to the finale, you can only go down from here.
Nothing Is Forever
Wildest Dreams is an interesting choice for the blueprint; the lyrics may seem a bit pedestrian at first, but I actually think it has a great concept (“say you’ll see me again even if it’s just in your wildest dreams”) and there are plenty of lines that make it one of my favorite songs lyrically from 1989 (His hands….; I said heaven…; the chorus). On the one hand, I think Nothing is Forever is extremely well-written, powerful, and features some of your best lyrics. On the other hand, the chorus feels a bit too much like the original. It has a dress, light/warmth (like Tay’s sunset), dreams, etc. Still, I can’t be that mad when the actual lyrics are so good (and at least you didn’t pull a dwuw and steal lyrics verbatim). But there are other parts that don’t feel exactly like Wildest Dreams that are still great, like the first half of the first verse.
Paradise (feat. Hugamari)
I really like this song, but it feels a bit less graceful following the back-to-back punches of Wilderness and NIF. The end of the 1st verse is my fave bit. Some of the lyrics feel a bit too familiar (stuff is running through veins, hearts are racing, "firework show” is too specific to Sparks Fly) and I have some word choice issues (“resides” is stiff). I’ll just assume you let Huga write too much of it (Love you Hug!)
Sam
Celestial
I wonder why the chorus doesn’t end with “We are celestial.” The rhythm is on point here and I think this has a certain marketability, though I imagined it as a more esoteric pop song than some smash radio hit. There’s not a ton of progression or individuality, since it’s one of those “pop love songs that uses heavenly imagery to express infatuation” that I’ve seen before. I can see the CRJ inspiration here and I like the song, but I don’t think it’s your best work, which is what I expected for the EP single.
Red Thread
I love the single cover! And the song. The historical allusions felt natural (love the Roman Empire one) and the lyrics flowed so well. Love the repetition at the end of the chorus, reminding me of Lykke Li’s “Sleeping Alone.” This was one of the best blueprint songs for me because you used the original song for inspiration instead of just rewriting each line (though I guess what the judges were looking for with the blueprint song may vary).
Frightening Nights and Lightning Strikes (feat. dwuw)
This title is a mess. But again, slaying me with the repetition! (“I’d fly away with you” though? The shameless pandering to me since Run Away With Me is my fave song ever.) Some of these lyrics felt a bit cheesy to me, but overall it was a great entry. I feel like with the nature imagery it’s almost too much of a good thing at times, especially in the 2nd verse, where I just felt like I was on sensory overload
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 9/2/2011
Posts: 21,728
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Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 30,915
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Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
I'll keep that in mind when I write your review for next week. Here's a sneak peek:
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It would be the best review I ever got
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Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 30,915
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Was this title inspired by Ocean Lips?
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Indeed. In fact most of my songs are inspired by the other contestants in some way because I don't have a mind of my own.
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Some of them also just don’t make sense (I never caught the warn).
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it all is about my relationship with atrl-o-matic
Possibilities
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 41,181
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If you want me to ignore Fefe's and Matty's scores and only count mine, post a Christina Aguilera picture from the Lotus era right below
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Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 30,915
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 41,181
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Bonus points for picking one of the least embarassing ones, despite the plastic Party City wig
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 13,381
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Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
Matty, Lordt, why don't you just read the entire song before writing your review? Half of the review becomes irrelevant by the time you get to the end |
Mess at me accidentally clicking report & typing my reply in the report before realizing I was reporting.  Mess lemme try that, I always think everyone wants me to analyze EVERY part of their song, so I'm flipping back and forth every 5 mins 
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 13,381
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Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
I'll keep that in mind when I write your review for next week. Here's a sneak peek:
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Quote:
Originally posted by 8thPrince
You forgot to point out a word that you feel is slightly awk to be used in a song, such as "scar", "blink", or "tungsten".
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nnn drag me. lemme just drop out since y'all MEAN.
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