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Discussion: ATRL Songwriter's Thread | Jacktrus gain dual #1
ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/31/2012
Posts: 12,510
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Quote:
Originally posted by AdamAL4
Love it, Danny, except for this part
Quote:
Originally posted by Danny789
You wanna go? You wanna battle me?
I’ll start a holocaust. Make it look like WW3
I’ll be Hitler. You can be Ann Frank
Hiding in the attic. I’m coming for you with my tank
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 omg 
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Member Since: 12/29/2011
Posts: 1,932
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Quote:
Originally posted by AdamAL4
Love it, Danny, except for this part
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I know it gets mixed reactions.
But I love it for some reason!!
Let's clarify that I love Jews and anne frank!!!
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Member Since: 9/15/2012
Posts: 22,487
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It's still very offensive
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/31/2012
Posts: 12,510
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Quote:
Originally posted by AdamAL4
It's still very offensive |
I know its no excuse, but mainstream rappers say offensive things all the time 
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Member Since: 11/17/2011
Posts: 32,412
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Omg not Ann Frank
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Member Since: 9/12/2012
Posts: 26,389
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Speaking off offensive, am back! 
Quote:
Originally posted by brIt-()nstar
 Yours is very good as well. 
I think the problem I see about your lyrics is there's a lack of half-rhymes. I like the use of that internal rhyme in your chorus although Imo, "the thrill of the hunt" needs some restructuring.  |
Yah, I wasn't sure what to put for dat part. Should probs fix it. 
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Member Since: 12/29/2011
Posts: 1,932
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Quote:
Originally posted by AdamAL4
It's still very offensive |
Yeah it's a pretty extreme metaphor
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Member Since: 9/15/2012
Posts: 22,487
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Quote:
Originally posted by theoyella jukebox
I know its no excuse, but mainstream rappers say offensive things all the time |
Yeah, I guess you're right. At least it's not this:
Quote:
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Shoot up anything 'cept a school or a playground
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Member Since: 9/12/2012
Posts: 26,389
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Quote:
Originally posted by AdamAL4
Yeah, I guess you're right. At least it's not this:
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nnndldsj so much shade I want to say, but would rather not get reported for.
Birdman is just... 
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Member Since: 9/15/2012
Posts: 22,487
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Quote:
Originally posted by Danny789
Yeah it's a pretty extreme metaphor
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But the rest was good! 
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Member Since: 9/15/2012
Posts: 22,487
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hugamari
nnndldsj so much shade I want to say, but would rather not get reported for.
Birdman is just... |
Yeah, no shade. The Birdman stans are everywhere 
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Member Since: 9/12/2012
Posts: 26,389
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Quote:
Originally posted by AdamAL4
Yeah, no shade. The Birdman stans are everywhere |
Would not be surprised, seeing as how there are *insert other artists here* that have stans
I heard one went to #1 in Barbados.
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Member Since: 9/15/2012
Posts: 22,487
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hugamari
Would not be surprised, seeing as how there are *insert other artists here* that have stans
I heard one went to #1 in Barbados.
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In Birdbados? Let me check 
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/31/2012
Posts: 12,510
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Well, obviously the topic has changed, so Adam maybe you should change the title again for higher ratings 
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Member Since: 9/12/2012
Posts: 26,389
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Topic: Throwin shaed lik confeti
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Member Since: 3/18/2011
Posts: 8,234
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Currently Untitled
Ohhhhhh. Mmmmm. Yeah.
Baby, baby, baby.
I didn’t mean it baby when I cut you down.
I should’ve pulled you back but, baby, now you’re gone,
And now that I can’t hear your angelic voice.
I’m lying here, crying here, all alone.
I was silly.
I was being lame.
I was lying to myself.
I was silly.
I was lying to myself.
I never thought I’d be here without you now.
Couldn’t fathom that we’d be apart.
That you’d be swooped up in his arms.
And I’m standing here saying, baby, come back to me. Yeah.
I was silly.
I was being lame.
I was lying to myself.
I was silly.
I was lying to myself.
Do you remember then, back in the day,
When we’d wake up hungover babe.
After party hardy, hey that was fun.
Do you remember then, back in the day,
When we were deep in love,
And we’d go to bed thinking life was perfect.
After fun in the sun, cause baby
I never thought I’d be here without you now.
Couldn’t fathom that we’d be apart.
That you’d be swooped up in his arms.
And I’m standing here saying, baby, come back to me. Yeah.
And here I am standing in the rain,
Without you, all I feel is pain.
And here I am standing in the rain,
Knocking on your window pane.
Cause, baby,
I never thought I’d be here without you now.
Couldn’t fathom that we’d be apart.
That you’d be swooped up in his arms.
And I’m standing here saying, baby, come back to me. Yeah.
I never thought I’d be here without you now.
Couldn’t fathom that we’d be apart.
That you’d be swooped up in his arms.
And I’m standing here saying, baby, come back to me. Yeah.
I was silly.
I was being lame.
I was lying to myself.
I was silly.
I was lying to myself.
Do you remember then, back in the day
When we were looking at each other for the first time.
After that you and me, we were stuck like glue.
Do you remember then, back in the day,
When we were looking in each other’s eyes.
After that I kissed you for the first time.
I was silly.
I was being lame.
I was lying to myself.
I was silly.
I was lying to myself.
Here's my most recent attempt at it. 
I'm not musically inclined or anything. So, I don't think a lot of my stuff flows well.
But I write them anyway. I call them more lyrical poems for the sake of my pride. 
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Member Since: 9/15/2012
Posts: 22,487
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Topic Now: General
Let's get back to the topic of songwriting
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Member Since: 11/17/2011
Posts: 32,412
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ra2
Currently Untitled
Ohhhhhh. Mmmmm. Yeah.
Baby, baby, baby.
I didn’t mean it baby when I cut you down.
I should’ve pulled you back but, baby, now you’re gone,
And now that I can’t hear your angelic voice.
I’m lying here, crying here, all alone.
I was silly.
I was being lame.
I was lying to myself.
I was silly.
I was lying to myself.
I never thought I’d be here without you now.
Couldn’t fathom that we’d be apart.
That you’d be swooped up in his arms.
And I’m standing here saying, baby, come back to me. Yeah.
I was silly.
I was being lame.
I was lying to myself.
I was silly.
I was lying to myself.
Do you remember then, back in the day,
When we’d wake up hungover babe.
After party hardy, hey that was fun.
Do you remember then, back in the day,
When we were deep in love,
And we’d go to bed thinking life was perfect.
After fun in the sun, cause baby
I never thought I’d be here without you now.
Couldn’t fathom that we’d be apart.
That you’d be swooped up in his arms.
And I’m standing here saying, baby, come back to me. Yeah.
And here I am standing in the rain,
Without you, all I feel is pain.
And here I am standing in the rain,
Knocking on your window pane.
Cause, baby,
I never thought I’d be here without you now.
Couldn’t fathom that we’d be apart.
That you’d be swooped up in his arms.
And I’m standing here saying, baby, come back to me. Yeah.
I never thought I’d be here without you now.
Couldn’t fathom that we’d be apart.
That you’d be swooped up in his arms.
And I’m standing here saying, baby, come back to me. Yeah.
I was silly.
I was being lame.
I was lying to myself.
I was silly.
I was lying to myself.
Do you remember then, back in the day
When we were looking at each other for the first time.
After that you and me, we were stuck like glue.
Do you remember then, back in the day,
When we were looking in each other’s eyes.
After that I kissed you for the first time.
I was silly.
I was being lame.
I was lying to myself.
I was silly.
I was lying to myself.
Here's my most recent attempt at it.
I'm not musically inclined or anything. So, I don't think a lot of my stuff flows well.
But I write them anyway. I call them more lyrical poems for the sake of my pride. |
MY SIS HAS COME TO SLAY! 
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Member Since: 9/15/2012
Posts: 22,487
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Is your music like your faves? Explain. 
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/31/2012
Posts: 12,510
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Awww 
Quote:
Do you remember then, back in the day,
When we’d wake up hungover babe.
After party hardy, hey that was fun.
Do you remember then, back in the day,
When we were deep in love,
And we’d go to bed thinking life was perfect.
After fun in the sun, cause baby
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Best part  
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I would say, yes, because of course all artists are influenced by other artists.
I don't have one particular fave though and I listen to everything 
But then again, I haven't written anything in a while
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