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Tournament: PLΔTINUM HIT 7
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 57,339
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 40,803
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 56,234
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Member Since: 9/1/2012
Posts: 25,973
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2 + 2 = 4, get over it
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 40,803
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 41,181
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MESS 
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 41,181
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 Betty Boop (8thPrince)This song is SO Madonna. From the listing of all those famous women (which felt very Vogue) to the rhythm in the verses and chorus (I realized I was reading it in that annoying talk-singing that Madonna was doing around this time), I think you excelled at writing to the challenge. Some of the lyrics are a bit better than I expect from a Madonna song (see the pre-chorus, the strongest part of the song), but I can’t hold that against you. In the entire song, I only found one line to be awkward: the final line in the bridge. “By” was a weird word choice (not “in”?) and it was sort of a mixed metaphor. The song is sort of repetitive, which works for the challenge, but leaves me feeling like I need just a bit more.
Different Air (conatus)
From the few songs I heard off this album, I think your song would fit nicely on it. I mean, you talk about the town right off the bat and every song I listened to was about the town, so… Anyway, I love the pre-chorus and think it leads nicely into the chorus, which is also one of the strongest parts of the song. Some may not like a repetitive chorus, but I just really find a simple, compelling chorus to be really effective, and that’s what this song has. The verses are more explicit about how this humdrum experience is leading the singer to desperation, but the chorus is better for its subtlety. I think the verses are also the weakest lyrically, only because they are mixed with strong writing and then weaker lines (for example, the key being left to find kind of dilutes the power of the rusted gates image—if the key is left and you can find it, then who cares if the gates are rusty if you’re gonna get in anyway?). Finally, I like the structure of the bridge, but the lyrics are hit-or-miss.
Gales Of Time (ClarksonSlays)
This song gets off to a bit of a rough start for me; the first half of the 1st verse feels a bit tortured; it seems imitative of a kind of writing style without actually feeling like lyrics that would fit on Lungs. What are “flourished forests” exactly? How are they “chiseled”? When using descriptive language like this, your meanings have to make sense and these images don’t make sense to me. The word choices don’t feel deliberate, but haphazard. The issue persists to some degree in later parts of the song, but fortunately never as egregiously as the first verse. Once the song’s meaning is clear, the song picks up speed a bit. I liked the structure of the bridge and the variations in the last chorus.
I Dont Need You (Hugamari)
Despite a recent lack of success, Christina actually has pretty well-written songs. IDNY feels somewhat like a Christina track, perhaps because the tone/message matches a few songs she already has out (Fighter, Stronger Than Ever, Army of Me, etc.). That said, this song doesn’t feel as strong as those, mostly because we start with a rather weak first verse/pre-chorus. A lot of the language is familiar to empowerment anthems (“you got inside my head,” the chess metaphor, etc. etc.) and the fact that this is a generic empowerment anthem with no specific story to tell also makes the song less memorable. Fortunately, the second verse is stronger (except for the “endeavors” line which is very vague) and it’s cool to have some movement in the bridge when the song gains its first ‘story’ moment. But it comes late and is quickly dropped, making the move feel a bit artificial.
In Your Hand (JustLuke)
This song didn’t scream Katy Perry to me, and I know all of her albums really well. It seemed like maybe it could be a PRISM bonus track, but I think that’s just because some of the lyrics remind me of Legendary Lover. This song’s biggest weakness was the familiar language found throughout; a heart beating like a drum is actually a direct lyric from LL, “take life as it comes” and “capture the moments” are cliche (both in sentiment and the actual language), and the somewhat cliche sentiments continue throughout the song. The chorus is tonally off to me; the second half’s blasé attitude about not caring and being numb is both odd on its own and in relation to the rest of the song; the verses celebrate life and then the chorus says to be numb and not question anything? That’s weird. I did think the 2nd verse was an improvement overall, though the “emit” rhyme was awkward.
Keep Me Satisfied (GotSkill)
To quote Randy Jackson, “This was just alright for me.” I think it fits into the era for the most part, both thematically and lyrically. Some of the lines were a little silly or awk (but my hair’s straight/kiss me emptily), and the liars/desires rhyme in the chorus felt forced, but the sense of defeat in the 2nd verse built nicely on the song’s theme and most of the lyrics were fine.
King (lovesong)
Although it’s a minor detail, I think the “instrumental transition” is really nice here—it does help make it feel like a song that fits into the era. This song felt like something Beyonce would (pretend to) write, but I thought some of the language felt a bit borrowed (I know; the irony!) in that the angel and throne references in the chorus recalled Beyonce songs already out there. That said, the way the throne works as a metaphor for the d is actually really clever. The second verse doesn’t leave a lasting impression for me, but I think the bridge is one of the strongest parts; it does a great job at complicating the stakes of the song and moves it beyond the traditional sex jam.
Land Of The Green (EuphorianSea)
Most of this fit the challenge really well. There were a few lines I didn’t think sounded like Lana and sounded exactly like Euphoria. But the rhythm was on point and only a couple lines felt awkward ("death falls to the ground” for example) and you told an interesting and convincing story with these lyrics. The ‘land of the green’ concept feels a bit underexplored since it only comes up in the last line of the chorus; it would have worked better if there were some connective tissue in a verse of the bridge. Still, this was a really strong entry.
Silver Lining (Era)
As I’ve said so many times this week, this song gets off to a rough start. The first two lines feel like imitation Taylor and not like actual Taylor. I was legit a bit scared halfway through the first verse, but then suddenly everything (had) changed and I was like, “Oh my, what a marvelous tune.” The pre-chorus has a bit of a Sparks Fly feel, the chorus feels like Ours meets Starlight (I know, wrong album, but still Taylor), and overall, this song definitely feels like a Tay song. However, there are def some awkward phrases that Tay would never use (like “dreamy crown”) and the verses feel a bit off rhythmically. I love the end of the chorus (and the Tove Lo reference), which I think is the strongest part of the song. The bridge is the weakest: it’s much too straightforward in its narrative style (you did this, I did this, you did this, I did this), and great narrative songs don’t do that.
Tombstone (keshaspearsxo)
This is as solid entry. Since 21 is my most played album of all-time and I know every lyric by heart, I can feel which lyrics feel the most 21-ish and overall, this works well enough as an Adele song, both thematically and in the lyrics. I’m not crazy about the central metaphor of Adele being the tombstone to represent the lost love. It just feels a bit awkward to me since a tombstone is just so flat and dreary to the vehicle in a metaphor in which the person is a tombstone. If I stretch the meaning, I can see how they are the tombstone because they maybe carry the pain of the ending or something, but that’s not what a tombstone does. It’s just odd to me. The verses/bridge were fine, with just a few lines here and there that I thought felt awk.
Top Level (Sam)
Well, the song starts off with a lie depending on how you read the first line, which is not something Kanye (or any reasonable person) would say, and then the first rhyme is a bit forced, but after that everything is great. The start of the second verse is brilliant. How has no one done that suit of cards stuff yet? I screamed. The first few lines of the third verse are also really great. The chorus is just whatever for me. I don’t think the f-word there works. It just feels lazy and I feel like I can’t hear Kanye calling people that. And I don’t know why the incinerator would be in the parking lot. You explanations though  I understood every line without that. Who did you think needed those? 
Wooden Heart (inuborg)
I can definitely see this on Fallen, although some of the language felt a bit shoehorned. The metaphor of the wooden heart worked well and at least made sense (unlike Wooden Branches). I really like the structure in the chorus too, with those two short lines in the middle. Overall, this was a strong entry, but it’s marred by awkward language appearing a bit too often—it’s a hard thing to critique because there’s no specific solution, but some of the figurative language just doesn’t work for me (like ticker tape, the personification of tranquility and kissing the face). I also think the song lacks movement in a way since the sentiment is a bit one-note and doesn’t develop much in each part of the song.
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Member Since: 9/1/2012
Posts: 25,973
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sam
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Great minds think alike!
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ATRL Senior Member
Member Since: 1/6/2014
Posts: 8,787
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Member Since: 9/1/2012
Posts: 25,973
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Quote:
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Most of this fit the challenge really well. There were a few lines I didn’t think sounded like Lana and sounded exactly like Euphoria. But the rhythm was on point and only a couple lines felt awkward ("death falls to the ground” for example) and you told an interesting and convincing story with these lyrics. The ‘land of the green’ concept feels a bit underexplored since it only comes up in the last line of the chorus; it would have worked better if there were some connective tissue in a verse of the bridge. Still, this was a really strong entry.
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Yayyyy 
I agree, I probably should've delved deeper into the initial concept but idk 
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Member Since: 9/1/2012
Posts: 25,973
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Quote:
Originally posted by Era
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Sis you're late
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 57,339
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Pretty positive. Thanks, Fefe!
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Member Since: 9/1/2012
Posts: 25,973
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Most of the second verse sounds like me tbh, I always give up about halfway through 
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Member Since: 9/15/2012
Posts: 22,487
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Your explanations though I understood every line without that. Who did you think needed those?
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Member Since: 9/1/2012
Posts: 25,973
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Despite a recent lack of success, Christina actually has pretty well-written songs.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 56,234
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Quote:
Originally posted by Tymps.
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It wasn't you.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 56,234
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Quote:
Originally posted by EuphorianSea
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I saw that and screamed.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 41,181
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Quote:
Originally posted by EuphorianSea
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Cursetina will come for her within the next 3 - 4 business days
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 57,339
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New avi.
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Member Since: 9/1/2012
Posts: 25,973
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sam
I saw that and screamed.
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I'm sure you'll be screaming by the end of this
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