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Discussion: What do you have against fem gays?
Member Since: 5/27/2010
Posts: 37,025
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Quote:
Originally posted by RAWR!
That's just as judgmental & self-hating as a "masc gay" hating on Queens.
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Hmm. So it is judgmental and hateful, then?
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 5/28/2011
Posts: 39,615
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Quote:
Originally posted by DiamondDust
Pretty sure that most people are shocked shitless when they look at the gay community under a microscope because 10 times out of ten, they find that it defies ALL stereotypes. You have your femmes and your masculine types, your drag queens, your nerdy types, your athletic types, the kind that love the shop, the kind that hate to shop... There is no stereotype because we are all different. Anyone that calls someone closeted because they aren't acting femme is just stupid, the same as someone who criticizes a gay person for acting "too gay." There's no such thing as "too gay" or "too butch" or "too femme" because there's no standard that you're supposed to subscribe to in the gay community.
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Member Since: 11/11/2010
Posts: 1,720
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Quote:
Originally posted by RAWR!
My take on it - and this is a generalization - is that the "over the top" & overly effeminate gay community DO bring the gay community down & tarnish our chances of acceptance & equality.
When people go to gay pride parades what do they see other than coked up, sex crazed Queen's in skimpy outfits, drunk off their faces, dancing on floats?
Highly effeminate gays - again a generalization - are often the ones who tend to be hyper-sexual, shallow, superficial, bitchy & basically, allow their sexuality to define every single aspect of their lives. This is often the only side people see of the gay community because these scene Queen's won't shut the **** up & sit down for a minute to allow the world to understand that sex, partying & shopping aren't what we're all about.
So no. I will not be thanking the fems. And I'm not a self hating gay man, I'm out & very proud of who I am - so don't pull that ******** on me after reading this.
The fact is - this stereotypical image of "what a gay man should be" is what is holding us back.
It's quite hilarious that fem gays complain about how much harder they "fight" & how masc gays are somehow all. "self hating" & taking the back seat. That's just as judgmental & self-hating as a "masc gay" hating on Queens. No ones holding a gun to your head forcing you to walk out in booty shorts - that is a choice you made, man up & accept the consequences. It's ridiculous. Your "freedom of expression" is ridiculous. Don't pretend like you don't know you look ridiculous & attention-seeking.
It's annoying when people assume I'd want to go shopping with them or someshit.
I don't have anything against anybody - I just don't particularly like how that shade of our community operates.
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Have you made room for the possibility that acceptance comes from having people that push boundaries, though? Think about it. The extreme femmes, the drag queens, the coked out queens...they are as Vato has said something of a caricature of who they really are...that is generally an act within the gay community. The repulsion from that type of extreme behavior makes it EASIER not HARDER for the majority to accept the more laidback, more everyday type of homosexual. If we weren't there to be the negative, then your "normal" homosexual behavior would be the extreme, and YOU would be the ones taking the brunt. Does that make sense?
Btw I appreciate you recognize that those are generalizations and not stating like a fact, like certain others in this thread have.
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Member Since: 11/11/2010
Posts: 1,720
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Quote:
Originally posted by Vato
THANK YOU! That's what Ive been saying for the past 7 pages, but they all started ganging up on me and calling me insecure and closeted
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You started out rude, condescending, and aggressive towards the fems here. He said in one post many negative things towards femmes while recognizing that they were generalizations and seeing both sides of the argument. You were ganged up on justly
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Member Since: 10/10/2009
Posts: 10,662
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Quote:
Originally posted by Vin
I do have a question, though: I never understood seeing a couple together and they are both effeminate. Doesn't that almost defeat the purpose of being gay? Wouldn't the flamboyant guy want or desire the opposite type of guy? I always thought that was fascinating. Why not just be with a woman then if you're both flamboyant? An effeminate gay guy needs to be with a more masculine gay guy. Isn't that in the handbook or somethin'?
...Vin
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Member Since: 10/10/2009
Posts: 10,662
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Quote:
Originally posted by Gui Blackout
Honestly, i don't like them. They bring us (normal gays) bad reputation and bad stereotype.
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It's unfortunate that people feel this way because the reality is that fem gays are at the front lines of the gay rights movement due to their existence alone. Because they're not able to simply hide their truth they've historically received the full impact of all society's hostility towards homosexuals.
Also, i don't judge anybody based off anything as minor as flamboyancy. I'm not sexually attracted to them, but I'm definitely not that insecure (ashamed?) gay guy who wouldn't dare be seen with one and who openly despises them. That's lame.
My two cents.
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Member Since: 10/10/2009
Posts: 10,662
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Quote:
Originally posted by Vin
But I read a post on here, I believe it was from the member, inspiration, who made an interesting point. He said that it is the over-the-top, flamboyant, effeminate, gay-pride-marchin', drag queen type of gay guy that makes it possible for society to more easily an openly accept the "normal gay guy." Thanks to that feminine "extreme" the public embraces the other half of the spectrum with an ease. So, "normal gay guys" owe a lot to the "over-the-top," "we-were-born-this-way" type of gay guy.
I thought it was an interesting point.
...Vin
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You remember that
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Member Since: 4/26/2007
Posts: 15,585
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Quote:
Originally posted by RedDlicious
Have you made room for the possibility that acceptance comes from having people that push boundaries, though? Think about it. The extreme femmes, the drag queens, the coked out queens...they are as Vato has said something of a caricature of who they really are...that is generally an act within the gay community. The repulsion from that type of extreme behavior makes it EASIER not HARDER for the majority to accept the more laidback, more everyday type of homosexual. If we weren't there to be the negative, then your "normal" homosexual behavior would be the extreme, and YOU would be the ones taking the brunt. Does that make sense?
Btw I appreciate you recognize that those are generalizations and not stating like a fact, like certain others in this thread have.
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It could work this way, but it could also have the opposite effect, it could be more difficult for some gays to come out for fear to be associated with that kind of "stereotype" drag queens and extreme gays have
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Member Since: 7/15/2010
Posts: 1,408
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Member Since: 11/7/2010
Posts: 1,549
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Quote:
Originally posted by Vato
THANK YOU! That's what Ive been saying for the past 7 pages, but they all started ganging up on me and calling me insecure and closeted
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Yeah maybe, but he at least said it with some class. You sat here ans started spewing your opinion all over the thread in the worse way possible. You may hate them but you are gonna thank them when we get the equality we deserve. While you sit here making generalizations, they are the first ones out at gay pride events trying to get that equality we deserve. You were ganged up on for a reason. And it was a correct one.
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Banned
Member Since: 12/29/2002
Posts: 19,803
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Quote:
Originally posted by IAmCannibal
Yeah maybe, but he at least said it with some class. You sat here ans started spewing your opinion all over the thread in the worse way possible. You may hate them but you are gonna thank them when we get the equality we deserve. While you sit here making generalizations, they are the first ones out at gay pride events trying to get that equality we deserve. You were ganged up on for a reason. And it was a correct one.
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I doubt I will be thanking them any time soon. I truly believe with all my heart they're the reason we're ALL frowned upon, but whatever
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Member Since: 7/12/2010
Posts: 9,704
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They make the best bestfriends.
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Member Since: 6/15/2011
Posts: 10,115
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Im ****ed up by all this. Just confusing and I think full equality wont happen during our lifetime. It would take like more than hundreds years for it. I dont hate fem gays, but honestly I find them annoying sometimes, but still, I dont show that I dont like them because I know it would hurt them, but we also dont have to like them if we dont want to, we dont have to like everything and everyone. And some of them are cool. Just not because they dont sexually attract you means they are not normal gays or sth. All people are normal, straights, bisexuals, fems, all are normal. Please people, be easier with everything.
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Member Since: 3/27/2011
Posts: 1,081
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I'm a girl and I'll admit, I prefer the flamboyant ones. They're a girl's best friend. I'm never met a masculine one, but I guess according to ATRL they exist.
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Member Since: 5/17/2010
Posts: 21,708
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It honestly irks the hell out me when some fems think they deserve a medal of honor for being flamboyant.
Ladies, if you are a flamboyant queen than more power to you. It takes a lot of balls to go out in this incredibly homophobic society and go against archaic notions of what manhood is. But let's stop with the misplaced reverence and realize that we are ALL in the fight for equality; fem, masc, in-between, whatever.
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Member Since: 7/21/2007
Posts: 17,522
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They seem to feel the need to provoke straight dudes too. Any time i see a straight dude getting angry about a gay guy its usually some Queen who is being obnoxious and OTT
gerls need to tone it down and remember they still men even if they do suck dick
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Member Since: 6/28/2008
Posts: 4,530
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With both guys and girls I find attention-whorishness is incredibly unattractive. If a femmy gay is drawing attention and pissing people off or being way too loud so strangers can notice them, I wouldn't like them, same as I wouldn't like feisty bitchy girls who are laughing too loudly so strangers notice them, arrogant douche baggy straight guys, etc. But a kind, friendly feminine gay guy who doesn't draw unnecessary attention I would like.
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Member Since: 10/5/2006
Posts: 9,829
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Quote:
Originally posted by ****y On Venus
But let's stop with the misplaced reverence and realize that we are ALL in the fight for equality; fem, masc, in-between, whatever.
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