Quote:
Originally posted by Nemo
Aside from the past 3 months-ish, I've been single my whole life. And I definitely prefer it. I just cannot commit to another person in that kind of way. It was way too overwhelming and I felt so suffocated and felt as though I had so many obligations that I either felt uncomfortable about or that I was not willing to commit myself to. It had become evident that he was putting forth at least 80% of the effort in the r/s.
Basically, what started out as a little crush that slowly dwindled away for me, was a crush that grew into a deep, strong love for him. I hated having to call it off because I could always see it in his face and hear it in his voice that this man truly cared about me and loved me far more than any other person aside from family ever has. As if I was flaw-free and the best thing that ever happened to him. And as I began to realize that, it began to bring me so much pain that I could not reciprocate those feelings to him. It sounds so incredible to have that...to feel that... but it's something that you cannot force. And I knew that the more time I waited, no matter how much I dreaded the thought, I had to do it because it would be so unfair to him to let him believe something that was nothing more than a fantasy.
I don't feel heartbroken. As a matter of fact, I feel so relieved and much less overwhelmed now. But it aches me to my core knowing that I have broken somebody else's heart. It brings me physical pain when I think about it. I don't feel guilty, as there is nothing I feel that I should feel guilty about. But... I crushed somebody's dreams. Somebody who did nothing wrong and did not deserve it. And that makes me feel so terrible. And I'm just so, so sorry.. It's something I never would have wished to ever do.
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damn this is heartbreaking.
At least you followed your own heart and did what's best. Now is better than later.
based on him?
