As you may know, I was planning the biggest charity party ever, complete with a pumpkin patch, maze, and performances by Maroon 5, Fergie and Led Zeppelin, who Chanel #5 couldn't get because apparently one of them died or something. Our charity was for The Black Hairy Tongue Disease and the party planner didn't get it. You are probably wondering, why do we care? You are throwing one charity party in our name, that's your challenge and you have two days to organize and submit your ideas for the best Chanel-x-mas EVER!. You are going to be working as a team. If one of them don't do anything, just say it.
Team Pretty Little Chanels:
The Pretty Little Chanels are hosting this naughty themed Christmas charity event in honor of the late & great career of Kesha Rose. #FreeKesha
All proceeds from the event will go toward the creation of #K3 without the interference of serial rapist, Doctor Lukasz Sebastian Gottwald.
It's just $200 for a table & $20 for pink pool access. Donations will be accepted all night.
The Concert:
- Lady Gaga is performing "Christmas Tree" & "Teeth"
- Xtina will be doing a medley of naughty hits (Your Body/Not Myself Tonight/Woohoo)
- Katy Perry will debut "Every Day is a Holiday" as well as sing "I Kissed a Girl"
- A special performance of "Jingle Bell Rock" by the Chanels
The Auction:
- Sexy Santas, bid for a night alone with 1 of 10 hot & naughty Santas
- Nick Jonas' used unwashed underwear
- Lady Gaga's French bulldog, Asia
- The main event item: 1 copy of the never-to-be-released Rihanna album, ANTI
Also to be included:
- Sparkling pink swimming pool
- Fake falling snow
- Unlimited pink champagne, special holiday cocktails, & no foam lattes
- Sexy Santa kissing booths
- Games of "Pin the Teeth on Chanel #5's Vagina" & "Escape from Poot's Basement" (win unsold copies of Demi's Confident!)
- Loot bags including unsold copies of Warrior, Katy's Mad Potion perfume, Piece of Me Vegas tickets, 1 year subscription to TIDAL, & Focus iTunes gift cards
We'd like to thank all the sponsors of tonight's charity event: The Grind, TIDAL, Botched Clinic, Tampax, Fischer's Bologna, & the Hotel Cortez.
Team Destiny's Child:
Hi there. This is Team Destiny's Child(Jessie Mulay, Sama, Vagabond, and Yves)'s entry.
Our theme is #TidalForAll. We want to give back to Tidal for their effort in trying to give back to artists and songwriters by giving them the royalties they deserve but are taken from their labels. Our charity is Tidal itself. All the artists we will have perform are on the poster, and many more. Basically the Tidal artists & many others we thought would fit. Poot Lovato is one of my favorites, I'm sure she will bring in the ratings and the cash. It will be like a concert, all concert ticket funds will be given to Tidal. This will also be a live-televised thing and callers can give donations if they'd like over the phone. For every milestone in donations, like $1000 dollars, etc, our performers will either perform new songs, perform a skit, etc. Just entertaining the audience for donations to support Tidal, basically.
Team Mean Girls:
Theme >
Decoration >
Singers >
Ariana Grande
Britney Spears
Mariah Carey
Justin Bieber
Food >
Dress Code >
Sophisticated and classy, examples:
Charity >
Children's Defense
The Children’s Defense Fund (CDF) has a mission to ensure that every child has a Healthy Start, a Head Start, a Fair Start, a Safe Start, and a Moral Start in life and successful passage to adulthood with the help of caring families and communities.
Team Charmed:
TEAM CHARMED
KAPPA KAPPA TAU PRESENTS.....
SEX-MAS! *All funds raised to go The Foundation Of The Cure For Genital Warts*
With Special Performances by:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
. MARINA & THE DIAMONDS
PERFORMING HIT SINGLE "SEX YEAH"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
. BRITNEY SPEARS
WITH THE #1 SONG "3"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
. ELLIE GOULDING
PERFORMING "LOVE ME LIKE YOU DO" WITH SPECIAL GUEST... JAMIE DORNAN
FROM THE BLOCKBUSTER MOVIE, "50 SHADES OF GREY"
CONTEST:
CONDOMS ON A CHRISTMAS TREE
-$50 ENTRY FEE (all proceeds go to The Foundation Of The Cure For Genital Warts)
-Decorate Christmas Tree with as many condoms as possible in 10 minutes
-Winner receives lifetime supply of condoms and Genital Wart screenings
COME JOIN KAPPA KAPPA TAU ON DECEMBER 19th,
AT 8:00PM FOR OUR FIRST ANNUAL SEX-MAS!
Ok you fat heffers, since Dean Munsch has allowed us to have an X-Mas Charity Party to make up for her cancelling Halloween, courtesy of my daddy's contributions, here is what Team Spice Girls proposes we do to make this Chanel-Mas remembered.
Firstly, and foremost, you will be required to give a small donation to the Charity of our choosing alongside a Secret Santa contribution, both of which will act as your pass to come in. There will be 2 categories of SS that you will be put into at entry. One group, The Chanels, requires at least a $50,000 dollar gift to be submitted and, with this, you'll be given a Dolce & Gabbanna bracelet, seen below, that tells the other POVO bitches, the other group, that they are not allowed to talk to us, whilst also giving them unlimited access to the Cotton Ball stand where they'll get complimentary sauces to go with their 5 Cotton Balls.
For all those are too lazy to put down the fork, alongside access to the Cotton Ball stand, where there is a 10 Cotton Ball limit since we don't want you to get cankles like that Fat Candle Sniffer, there will also be a chance to stuff your face with some of Ms Bean's GingerBread that she made before she went on vacation.
Also for you extra lazy sluts who can't be f-ed walking around to lose those back rolls, there will also be a sleigh ride available. Since Chanel #2 was a Vadgetarian or something and didn't like animals being used or whatever, they will instead be pulled by Chad Michaels and Denise Hemphill, both fulfilling the Christmas theme by wearing reindeer outfits.
But that's not all, there will also be an opportunity for you skanks to show off your hog bodies in the 7 Seconds of Winterland Booth where you can take 1 photo of you and your gang of spazzes with as many filters as you need to not look like washed up gutter sluts.
And finally, there will also be our charity's mascot Coney the Krazy Khristmas Kone who will teeter around for your enjoyment.
Also Katy Perry will perform her brand new smash single "Every Day Is A Holiday" and a tribute to ex-Kappa sisters popularly known as the "Spice Girls".
What, you may ask, is this event for? Well my drunk degenerate hoes, we propose that this event will raise awareness for starving children in the country of Africa who do not get an opportunity to see the hotness of Chanel. So for every $100,000 dollars raised, Chanel will buy an entire Cookie House for an under privileged family and will hand* deliver it herself.
