Hey Posh, que tal? How you doing around ATRL and stuff? Any recent hiatus’s?
Hello, Drip and viewers from around the globe.
It's been what, a month since my last hiatus? I'm definitely overdue; I heard a rumour that this cycle of ANTMs winner, Citrus, will be hosting his own game very soon- so, I'll probably take another hiatus a week or two into that.
jk, my gaming curse is going to be broken this year!
So you were pegged early on as “The Kitt” of this cycle, and you had a lot of promise to give, did this add any pressure to you?
The amount of people that were closely watching and rooting for me
definitely added a lot of pressure. Trying to reach my own standards, which I set very high, is hard enough; but to include a set of expectations laid out by my peers, especially when they are such high figures as Kitt and Matty, can really be quite intimidating. That being said, it was also very encouraging to know that people thought so highly of me and were so sure that I would be able to achieve great things in this game. Even now, when everything regarding ANTM has been said and done, that encouragement still resides in me and keeps me motivated to become an even better member.
So why did you just UP and leave leaving a lot of people disappointed?
That's really the money question, isn't it? Well, I could give a generic story about how my life got busy and how I just had no time to get online- but, we'd all know that wasn't really the case. Truth be told, I left because I wasn't able to deal with the pressure. Not the pressure from those around me, as mentioned in the previous question, but the pressure I was putting on myself. After the entries and contestant feedback for the "Branding" challenge were posted, I began to question if I was actually ready for this game. I started to question how good of a member I actually was. There were hilarious members, like Citrus- well put together members, like Cupid- assertive members, like iHype- entertaining members, like Vespertine- creative members, like MWB- and then me. What was I bringing to the table? Questions like those really started to get to me; and when I saw everyone calling my entry the worst, I just felt like I had officially let myself (and others) down too early in the game, and began to question what the point of going on was.
Yes, it was dramatic. Yes, it was a stupid way of thinking. I know, it's never that serious. I know, it's just a game. and believe me, I definitely know that it was selfish and completely disrespectful of me to leave unexpectedly.
but, that's what happened. I was my own worst enemy, yet again.
You didn't do the comeback cycle either? Why? Did you feel like you wouldn't get it?
No, it wasn't that I didn't feel that I could get back in, it was more that I didn't believe I was worthy of doing so. Giselle, and all the other eliminated constants, deserved their chances to fight to come back- they all had put effort into the entries that ultimately got them eliminated, whilst I just kind of baby'd out and went all witness protection on you guys. There was no way that I was going to try and get back in after a mid-game hiatus, when there were other people consecutively trying their best week after week. That just wouldn't have been right of me.
Where do you think you would have placed if you had stayed?
Hmm, that's a tough question to answer. This cycle had so many wonderful constants that all really embodied some of the best aspects of this site, that I think the shine I had early on would have worn off really fast. With all humility, I think I could have made it to the top 7.
How did it feel like to get compared to Kitt early on in the competition?
It was extremely flattering, but also quite.. strange. Kitt is without a doubt one of the most pristine, high quality posters on this website. She is an ideal member is literally every sense- funny, smart, honest and creative, with a unique touch of femininity. Personally, I don't see myself fitting into any of those slots, or at least not nearly as much as Kitt does. For a member who has been here for so long, such as Edge, who has actually gotten to know Kitt on a personal level than I have, to see a bit of the traits that make her such a prominent member within me really lets me know that I'm doing something right.
If only I had the same efficiency and self-regulation as Kitt did during her ANTM run.
What’s the future for Posh on ATRL?
Hopefully only good stuff! Less conveniently-random hiatuses, that's for sure.
Thanks for the questions, Drip! Hopefully all of my answers were adequate and open enough.
