I wouldn't mind Serbia making top 10 as Oro has grown on me and, hey, she did steal Mary J Blige's 'Mary Todd Lincoln" hair piece so that should be rewarded. Israel, San Marino and France deserve Top 10 slots over Russia, Sweden and Greece, though...with good position for Switzerland and Finland and Slovenia too.
*remembers to say his prayers that Sweden finishes last in the second semifinal*
Anyways, here's something interesting to listen to. Sia, who's such a quirky singer anyways, did a version of The Great Toddler's "Gimme More" and stripped it down to make it a rather sad lullaby. Here, sample:
It makes me wonder what a slightly sober Winehouse could do with it.
(1) Why the **** did no one tell me Bjork released "Declare Independence" and Michel Gondry did the video? I happen to stumble onto it looking for anything from the Shanghai show were she screamed "Tibet" during the end. And Her performance on "Later...with Jools" is amazering.
(2) WHY THE **** DID I NOT KNOW THAT WHEN NICKEL CREEK WAS DOING THEIR FAREWELL TOUR THEY (besides making an amazing version of Toxic) TOOK FIONA THA F'N BIATCH APPLE ON TOUR?1?!?!?!?!? Hearing "Criminal" as a honky tonk stomper is....it's mindblowing!
Thank heavens for the internet for I hates you all for this lack of info.
17 Nat Final Official Video Romania - Nico & Vlad Miriţă, "Pe-o margine de lume"
How we got to this: Won 1st semifinal & Nationala Selectia (with some funky lettering) What it sounds like: Two poor mash ups rammed together to make a "We Are The World" like...thing. Why it will win: It's overly sugary and Romania is rather due for success Why it will falter: It's as interesting as your fingernails and Vlad is clearly the weaker part of the song. Benefit of draw: The calm after Finland Problem: Russia also sent a ballad What can fix this?: What SHOULD have gone instead: Blah blah blah Shine was robbed blah blah. I still think that Zero's "Come This Way" would have been excellent but probably drowned out next to the Fins. Ignoring the Swedish collection I'd still say Zero to advance. Finals?: Yes, especially with Spain and San Marino to manipulate. But not with as high a score as they expected. Not making the top ten in the finals.
18 Russia - Dima Bilan, "Believe"
How we got to this: Won the Russian National Final What it sounds like: A ballad by Timbaland on his coffee break Why it will win: The most modern of the ballads, Dima & Russia are popular, lots of former Soviet Satellites will vote for it Why it will falter: It's a ballad towards the end AND to make this COMICAL there will be FIGURE SKATING BY EVGENY PLUSHENKOV ON STAGE WHILE DIMA AND SOME CELLOIST PERFORM! YES!!!! ICE SKATING ON THE SMALLEST STAGE! Apparently Dima's people are high. And for a modernish ballad the lyrics are rather insipid. Benefit of draw: picked the best slot to make it. Problem: Back-to-back ballads might drag it, considering Greece is last with their r&b jitterbug What can fix this?: Well, certainly not ice skating in Belgrade. But maybe work on the melody, as their is little "umph" to go with the surge of the lyrics. What SHOULD have gone instead: Ya know, I wanted Sabrina's "Wreck" to go as it was a slick number but Sergey Lazarev's "Flyer" was just schlager enough not to piss me off and his perf was very Kylie. Russia would be more primed for a win with it. Finals?: Duh and probably top 5. Both completely undeserved.
19 Nat Final Official Video Greece - Kalomoira, "Secret Combination"
How we got to this: Won the Greek National Final, apparently held at midnight to accommodate about 7 hours of useless nonsense. What it sounds like: Britney stole Beyonce's weave and Ciara's beats and tries to be kewl with it. Why it will win: Greece does well, it's slick and polished and rather a good song. Why it will falter: The more I play it, the more I hate it. Her vocal grates (especially live) the dancing is trite and she apparently paid some damn good money for her titties and is bound and determined to show those suckers off. She keeps grabbing them like they're trying to escape. Maybe it's Jessica playing Beyonce. Benefit of draw: It's last before the vote! Problem: The last song doesn't always make the finals, neither does going 19th. Possible mistep? What can fix this?: Better choreography and stop grabbing at your ****. We know that's where the secret combination goes. What SHOULD have gone instead: Chrypsa' "A Chance To Love" is a better melody and hasn't grown stale on repeated listens. Sure the dancing was bad but that's a simple fix. Finals?: Duh. Also a contender for top 5. But might be surprised by how low it ends up.
Friday's showcase will not be the next semi (that's next Tuesday) but sorta organizing the 19 songs into their groupings...those already in, those who are in, those who could slip in, those needing help and those who should consider begining the 2009 selection process.
Exactly. Had no one told me before the Russian Final that Timba produced a song and then told me after Dima won he did I would call them a big fat liar. Dima's song is just so boring and not that impressive and for a Timba song the melody lacks anything.
He works with Timbaland as a producer. He produced songs for Ashlee Simpson, previous singles of Dima Bilan, Matt Pokora, Danity Kane, Duran Duran, Katharine McPhee, Britney Spears (he co-wrote alongside Keri Hilson Gimme More), M.I.A., Nelly Furtado & Shakira.
AT NO TIME DID YOU BECOME A STAND-IN FOR ELIZABETH HURLEY. YOU ARE NOT A REAL LIFE PLASTIC BARBIE. YOU ARE NOT DINA. YOU ARE 14. FOUR. TEEN.
Well, it had to be said.
I mean really (thanks celebslam!) she appears to be at least 5 years older than LiLo and ole Lins looks about 32 lately. Dina, The White Oprah, really is the worst mother ever.
Dina is just horrible! I can't really stand that woman Now she's having a reality show just so she can get exposure, that's the REAL reason why she's haviing a reailty show, & seeing Ali lookling like that, she looks too old for her age just be yourself , but no she's needs to dress older so she can get attention , I hate when I see these young girls trying to look way older for their age
Ali will be in rehab in the next 5 years, I can see it
Also known as Which of the Faves Will NOT Make The Finals?
01 Iceland - Eurobandið, "This Is My Life"
How we got to this: Won Round 11, Semi 4 & the Icelandic National Like I'm Going Back To Spell This Final What it sounds like: Sweden's entry set to the Bulgarian beat, as sung by Neil Patrick Harris and Carrie Underwood. Why it will win: It's very gay and very positive message. Why it will falter: It's a droll afterschool special and message songs don't always fire right. Too much dependence on vocals now that they dropped the dancers, especially with Sweden next, might misfire, and like with Romania the girl is the better singer but the focus is on the guy. Benefit of draw: Unlike Montenegro, this will be a strongly remembered opener. Problem: Sweden & Ukraine follow it. What can fix this?: The scrapped the crappy dancing which I am happy with but now are planing for just backing vocals. Maybe massive tonnes of glitter to play off like meth? What SHOULD have gone instead: Dr. Spock's "Hvar Et pu" is a twisty rock song with crazy outfits. Would have been a more interesting opener. Finals?: Either them or Sweden are getting left out. I'm going with out right now but may switch back to the Swedes.
02 Sweden - Charlotte Perrelli, "Hero"
How we got to this: Won Semi 4 & Melodifestivalen Final What it sounds like: thisisteinemschlagersongen by thisisteineschlagerfrau. Why it will win: It's winning the OGAE votes, it's Sweden, it's schlager, Charlotte looks like a man, she can sing and the song, as it is, is fine. Why it will falter: Almost all the nations have been outright rejecting schlager this year when the regular public (not OGAE alone) is involved and "Hero" is rather annoying. With Iceland and Ukraine right there AND it's second, AND Malta's schlager number is later and more psychotic it's gonna be iffy if it can even make it. Her voice is also sorta wonky. Benefit of draw: There is none. Sweden might have, besides Poland, the worst slot of any song in the contest. Problem: #2, after Iceland, Turkey & Ukraine following. Could not have asked for a worse slot. What can fix this?: The biggest wind machine on earth and fixing the syncro to be something OTHER than doing a circle. What SHOULD have gone instead: None of the Finalists were all that good and overall Melodifestival blew monster ****. For originality only, I would have gone with Ronegal's "Just A Minute" but for a shot of better survival Sanna Nielsen's "Empty Room" would have been better. Finals?: Cyprus did get to 6th in Riga and the UK finished joint 3rd in Tallinn so it's not entirely out of the question Sweden would make it, then making top ten. If they make it (and that is a huge if), they may be 9th in.
03 Nat Final Official Video Turkey - Mor ve Ötesi, "Deli"
How we got to this: Internal selection What it sounds like: Daughtry with more interesting melodies. Why it will win: Turkey normally does really well and got to 4th with ska-act Athena. Why it will falter: It's really early, squeezed between dance acts and in Turkish. Besides the immigrants, who will vote? Benefit of draw: Will stand out amongst the glitter. Problem: I think this is rather early and I suspect that, even though I dislike it, Charlotte will come off well. This might trip on it's face. What can fix this?: Performing on those big ass statues would be interesting. What SHOULD have gone instead: Secretly I do want Sertab to go again some more. Finals?: Yes, but around 7th this time. Still making top ten when the immigrants get to vote for it.
04 Nat Final Official Video Ukraine - Ani Lorak, "Shady Lady"
How we got to this: Internal selection for Ani, song chosen at National Final What it sounds like: A winner. Why it will win: Perfect level of schlager, good lyrics, catchy chorus, hot as **** woman. Ukraine has figured out that **** + fantastic hair + dance beats + killer shoes gets them a high finish and this easily rivals "Wild Dances" and "Show Me Your Love" as best entry from them. Why it will falter: Finished back in the bottom on debut, then won, then 19th, then 7th, then 2nd. Might be due for a shocking crash. Plus Ani's accent is iffy and she screwed up the bridge and one line in the chorus a lot. Will she remember the word order come Thursday? Benefit of draw: After Iceland and Sweden so Ani know's what she has to do, before a lot of ballads. Problem: Front end song with two other dance numbers might mean one is left out. Weird live vocal could hurt. What can fix this?: I say keep the kat-devil dancers but otherwise it's pretty much flawless. What SHOULD have gone instead: I did want "Ya stanu morem" until i saw this. Now...I only want this. Finals?: First, second, no lower than 3rd. Armenia, Ireland, France, Serbia, Sweden & Norway will need a lot of help to leap her.
Lithuania (booooooooooooooo), Albania (pleasepleasepleasemakefinal)), Switzerland (they has dancing now!) and the Czech Republic (glitter hoochie!) come up on Friday
Iceland's song is my favourite song for this year's eurovision song context! perfect vibe... perfect lyrics...super mega catchy chorus... the best for "love at first listening"
Swedens's song is the favourite for the people so far... The gayest song of this year.... kinda of a classic... possible new hit in the gay bars... Personally, I find it boring.
Turkey's song: my favourite after Iceland's song. Rock, catchy, personality in it... pure rock without theatre unlike Finland's song "Hard rock halleluia"...
Ukraine's song... oh well, one the of 10 best songs...but Armenia's song is better and it might be overshadowed by Sweden's song.
But...but I lurve the ukraine song the eyeroll, while funny, is evil!!!
At least we agree on Sweden. I reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally hope Iceland edges them out for the last slot but the OGAE stupidity is making me think that Charlotte will man her way to the top 5.
In other wonderful news, apparently Sweden has already chosen Malmo to host Eurovision 2009 in case they win - as the Globen is being used for the International Handball Championships. Those Swedes, ready to host a contest they haven't even performed in yet.
05 Lithuania - Jeronimas Milius, "Nomads In The Night"
How we got to this: Won Semi...2? & the Lithuanian National Final What it sounds like: Andrew Lloyd Webber Night on Idol! Why it will win: People love ballads, especially moronically stupid ones. Why it will falter: It's bad. And stupid. And the lyrics make no sense and he sounds like he's high. Benefit of draw: It's the first ballad and with a strong performance could outperform two foreign-language numbers. Problem: After Ukraine and before 2 stronger ballads? What can fix this?: Someone dressed like a camel giving some girl a ride to play up the Nomads thing. What SHOULD have gone instead: Mini-me's "Yes," but it would have tripped as it sounds like a great Britney song that never went to her. Finals?: Eh, no. No points for effort either but Latvia, being Latvia, will save it from embarrassment.
06 Nat Finals Official Video Albania - Olta Boka, "Zemrën e Lamë Peng"
How we got to this: "Won" Albanian Final What it sounds like: Flamenco-twisted ballad Why it will win: It's a pretty ballad with a lot of emotional heft and a strong chorus. Why it will falter: It's in Albanian Benefit of draw: It's the best of the front ballads so a good showing (not even fantastic, really) should overcome the partisan crowds. Problem: Squeezed between ballads, people might go tinkle here instead of listen. And, considering Kosovo and all, Albania's at risk of undue stress from ultranationalists who will love to drive them bananas while in town. What can fix this?: Put the backing singers from the Final back in. At least two will give it more emotional edge to carry it. What SHOULD have gone instead: Well the Albanians got their panties in a twist since the song that was winning the juries until the final 3 all of a sudden felldownwentboom, possibly due to the singers being Kosovars. Having said that, I has no idea. Finals?: She and the Swiss are fighting for slots. One's in, probably 5th, the other is the Jury pick. I'm thinking she's in by Jury. However, if she gets affected by the Serbian crowds she may well trip her way out (or score more sympathy votes. Keep in mind the Serbian OAGE gave the song a point, meaning there could be supporters too!)
07 Nat Finals Official Video Switzerland - Paolo Meneguzzi, "Era Stupendo"
How we got to this: Internal selection What it sounds like: For those claiming plagarism, Amy Diamond. For those who aren't, two Bryan Adam songs slammed together. Why it will win: It's considered by most the better ballad. Why it will falter: There are useless dancers involved, some strong dislike of Paolo for some reason, and the ramming of two different melodies is confusing. Benefit of draw: Might get support after Albania (especially depending on the crowds), comes before a weaker Czech entry. Problem: If it went later I'd say it's safely in. As it is, it's more prone to failure. What can fix this?: Not having dancers? What SHOULD have gone instead: Internal so yo no se. Maybe another comedy entry featuring ninjas (even Vanilla Ninjas) to start an online war against the Latvian Pirates. Finals?: Yes. either 5th in votes or the Jury pick.
08 Nat Finals Official Video Czech Republic - Tereza Kerndlová, "Have Some Fun"
How we got to this: Won Eurosong 2008 What it sounds like: Someone forgot the words to a Fergie song or two and slid them together but forgot to include the spelling. Why it will win: She, next to Sebastian Teilier, might be the best known contestant as she's opening for Fergie Ferg on her tour. It's a slick pop&b merger, she clearly is not aware we could know if the curtains match the drapes if she forgets things. Why it will falter: The Czechs seem to have (a) the most American sounding music & (b) zero clue how to pick a Eurovision entry. Kabat rode the rock slide in Helsinki and failed to do anything while being the only legit rock song. Tereza's song, while probably something that would do well here, will get ignored in Belgrade. Plus, her vocal is wonky and she cut half of the opening verse & chorus which makes no sense. Benefit of draw: Problem: Belarus is next and has similar melody and issues. Might have needed to go later. What can fix this?: Chola girls and fully embracing the Ferg. What SHOULD have gone instead: Iva Frulingova actually might have put the Czechs in the discussion of a top ten finish but I would have sent Toxique's bratty "Two SideS" or Gipsy.cz' "Benga Beating" for being more legit. Finals?: Not this go around. But she will poll high in the perv votes ^_^
Belarus, Latvia, Croatia & Bulgaria are on Tuesday. Prepare to be confused with much eyerolling.