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Discussion: Being gay - the hardest thing?
Member Since: 5/20/2012
Posts: 11,332
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Quote:
Originally posted by princedonte
Being a black gay is hard. White gays don't even see us a human as well as other blacks they want us dead
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The accuracy
And the "It's just my taste!" being used to validate what's actually racism *whites only*.
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Member Since: 5/21/2012
Posts: 13,571
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Not being a stereotype, that's the hardest thing.
Oh and finding a guy who doesn't just wanna get laid within the first 3 hours...
And the bisexual thing Forevernow90 said
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Member Since: 6/7/2011
Posts: 41,996
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Living in a homophobic country.
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Member Since: 1/1/2013
Posts: 19,579
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Finding a guy at this age (I'm only 16). When I'm at a party and everyone is getting with each other because we're young and we can do that, I'm sat there knowing there's no one I can do that with and if there was, 9 times out of 10 they're just "experimenting". Sometimes I wish I could just go up to any guy I liked the look of and try my way with them like a straight guy can do to almost every girl.
That's really pathetic actually but from my experience it's the hardest thing. I've not had a hard time for being gay or anything.
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Member Since: 10/19/2010
Posts: 16,335
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People are always surprised when they find out I'm into guys just because I'm masculine and don't act all flaming and stuff, and they even presume that I'm still in the closet. I don't let my sexuality define me. Like I told the people that I apparently "came out" to, I've always been the same person. What you see is what you get. The only thing that changed about your knowledge of me is that now you know that I like Dick, and that I like it a lot.
I think what makes it difficult for most of us is the stereotype set that all gays must act effeminate.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 11,474
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Everything is hard.
For me personally it's :
Not being able to completely come out coz even living in Paris, i have family in Armenia and if they knew it would be a total mess and if other relatives also found out my family would be ashamed and everything... (OLD menthality) therefore Having to hear my Grandmother ask me "so do you have a girlfriend?" every other day - it's just difficult. So much lying is going on
But i can't completely complain though coz my mom, my aunt and my brother know and they are all good.
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Member Since: 3/14/2013
Posts: 19,449
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Quote:
Originally posted by Starstruck.
Living in a homophobic country.
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Its 10 times worse in Africa
But South Africa isn't really bothered, but homophobia still remains a huge issue here
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 11,808
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Quote:
Originally posted by princedonte
Being a black gay is hard. White gays don't even see us a human as well as other blacks they want us dead
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Quote:
Originally posted by ForeverNow90
This tbh. No tea and no shade, but from what I know, most white gays don't use blacks in terms of intimacy, although we are socially accepted by whites, we will never fully be regarded as human beings because we are sexually unattractive.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Desert Rain
The accuracy
And the "It's just my taste!" being used to validate what's actually racism *whites only*.
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This!
The self hate is sad too
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 11,474
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Quote:
Originally posted by Latch
This!
The self hate is sad too
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That is so sad though.
One would think that with all the size queens in the gay community - they would RUN to black men
Anyways, their loss - more black guys for me i guess
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Member Since: 12/1/2010
Posts: 23,572
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I hate when people say "I don't understand how someone can be gay." What is there to figure out? Homosexuality isn't an algebra problem. It is hard to stray people away from the sexual side of it. Yes, homosexuals do that, but we also grow emotional attachments to people who desire to be with. My mother was in dismay when I told her that I don't get what there is to understand. Some people like the same sex, some people like the opposite sex.
But the hardest for me has been family related matters. Whenever I. go to family functions I always feel like something is missing. I didn't realize it for a while, but I realized I wanted my then boyfriend of forever to be there. It was hard to watch the others bring their boyfriends, but I could never. So I am always going to feel like my other half is missing while at these events, which is a lonely feeling. Down the road I do see myself attending less and less functions in favor of being with my new family.
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Member Since: 1/1/2013
Posts: 19,579
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Quote:
Originally posted by highwind44029
People are always surprised when they find out I'm into guys just because I'm masculine and don't act all flaming and stuff, and they even presume that I'm still in the closet. I don't let my sexuality define me. Like I told the people that I apparently "came out" to, I've always been the same person. What you see is what you get. The only thing that changed about your knowledge of me is that now you know that I like Dick, and that I like it a lot.
I think what makes it difficult for most of us is the stereotype set that all gays must act effeminate.
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!!!!
Actually definitely this. I'm not really that masculine but I'm not really effeminate either, I'm camp and you might be able to tell I was gay but I think I could also pass as straight, and my one main worry was slowly changing into a massive camp stereotype. I don't want people to see me as the stereotype at all, it's my worst nightmare.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 11,808
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Quote:
Originally posted by P!nkism
That is so sad though.
One would think that with all the size queens in the gay community - they would RUN to black men
Anyways, their loss - more black guys for me i guess
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It's because of stereotypes
I notice a lot of Black gerls on those apps put "Mixed" under ethnicity too
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Member Since: 8/3/2012
Posts: 585
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Quote:
Originally posted by ForeverNow90
This tbh. No tea and no shade, but from what I know, most white gays don't use blacks in terms of intimacy, although we are socially accepted by whites, we will never fully be regarded as human beings because we are sexually unattractive.
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I totally agree with you.. I'm a Indian guy and it's exactly the same.. It's like if you're not a gay white don't expect be looked at twice. Now that I think about it, it's really sad
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 11,474
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Quote:
Originally posted by Latch
It's because of stereotypes
I notice a lot of Black gerls on those apps put "Mixed" under ethnicity too
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I don't blame them though, the society is to blame, that makes black people think that they could be better if they were mixed or if they were white.
**** this world tbh
When i watch the struggles of black people in daily life till now, i think about it like damn, if people can still be racist and black people still struggle, gays have SUCH a long way to go and it's never gonna end is it?
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 11,808
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It's ****ed up that on top of the outside hate,
we have so much negativity within the community as well
It's even evident here on ATRL
People say things like,
"Ew. Not here for these twinks."
when most of y'all here are "twinks"
and they feed into that old traditional gender role ******** about how a man is supposed to behave,
and they put down the gays that are more effeminate
even tho most of y'all here spend 16 hours a day or more calling each other sis
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Some gays don't want to believe that bisexuality exists,
or they assume that sexuality is this very black and white concept
Some of the White gals don't use gays of color and pass it off as a "preference"
It seems like all we do is tear each other down even more
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Member Since: 1/1/2013
Posts: 15,264
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Quote:
Originally posted by Desert Rain
The accuracy
And the "It's just my taste!" being used to validate what's actually racism *whites only*.
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Quote:
Originally posted by princedonte
Being a black gay is hard. White gays don't even see us a human as well as other blacks they want us dead
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Quote:
Originally posted by ForeverNow90
This tbh. No tea and no shade, but from what I know, most white gays don't use blacks in terms of intimacy, although we are socially accepted by whites, we will never fully be regarded as human beings because we are sexually unattractive.
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Not you playing the victim card and calling racism when someone just isn't into black people.... I like people from all ethnicities, I'm just not attracted to them, I'm only attracted to caucasian males and once in a blue moon there's someone with an Asian or African appearance that I like, I can't help it, it doesn't have anything to do with racism... It's the same as saying you don't consider women as equals and you discriminate them just because you are not interested in them sexually/romantically.....
And regarding the claim that bisexuality doesn't exist, I believe that too
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Member Since: 9/2/2011
Posts: 14,788
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Quote:
Originally posted by ForeverNow90
Me tbh
I think the hardest thing for me is being bi and getting constant back lash from the LGBT community. People here don't believe bisexuality exists. Others believe its a front because I'm still "in the closet".
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!!!
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Member Since: 7/9/2010
Posts: 31,471
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It's not hard at all for me, my parents aren't the most supportive, but I don't really care. I'm just trying to live my life
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 11,808
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Quote:
Originally posted by P!nkism
I don't blame them though, the society is to blame, that makes black people think that they could be better if they were mixed or if they were white.
**** this world tbh
When i watch the struggles of black people in daily life till now, i think about it like damn, if people can still be racist and black people still struggle, gays have SUCH a long way to go and it's never gonna end is it?
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I agree that it's a social stigma
We've tried to have discussions about the struggle for LGBT persons of color here on ATRL,
but, like most race-related discussions here, nothing came out of it
and people showed their ignorance more than they anything else
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Member Since: 3/14/2013
Posts: 2,560
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Quote:
Originally posted by princedonte
Being a black gay is hard. White gays don't even see us a human as well as other blacks they want us dead
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This tbh.
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