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Discussion: Why do gays thirst more over straight men than hot gay men
ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 1/3/2014
Posts: 11,976
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Quote:
Originally posted by Legend E
Yeah, you are right, sadly. But, I just don't get it. I mean we want to be accepted in all forms and everything, yet we sometimes do the most and just drag people like us when we shouldn't, right? Maybe it is also the way in which we address the problems at times too. I mean why instead of "yasss queen" can't we say the same thing in a nicer way which does not affect any people that feel stereotyped, if they feel attacked by this way of saying things?
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ugh, I know right? I agree with all of this, 100%.
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Member Since: 6/7/2011
Posts: 1,480
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Most of the guys here are bottoms and thirsting over "dream" tops. Y'all can have most of them. I'm thirsting over Brian Nieh.
![](https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2013-11/enhanced/webdr03/26/15/anigif_enhanced-buzz-833-1385498382-16.gif)
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 7,037
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They're aren't as many famous gays to thirst over though.
Henry Cavill, Bieber and Nick Jonas would likely be just as thirsted over if they were gay and just as famous.
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Member Since: 8/25/2012
Posts: 21,188
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Quote:
Originally posted by St. Charles
A lot of people have a machismo fetish. It explains why the gayest of the gays (Tyler Oakley, Joey Graceffa) get dragged, while the most "manly" ones get thirsted over (Matt Bomer).
Couple that with the fact that being "gay" is seen as less "manly" and there you go.
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The gayest of gays (ESP your examples) are ugly. End of
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Banned
Member Since: 3/3/2012
Posts: 13,073
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Quote:
Originally posted by ariesjow
Most of the guys here are bottoms and thirsting over "dream" tops. Y'all can have most of them. I'm thirsting over Brian Nieh.
![](https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2013-11/enhanced/webdr03/26/15/anigif_enhanced-buzz-833-1385498382-16.gif)
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Why did he use his name as a hashtag?
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 6,297
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Because fem gays only date masc gays
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 1,718
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Quote:
Internalized homophobia: This is the easiest reason to cite for the cultural phenomenon of gay males seeking “straight-acting” gay men, or even straight men only. Because of internalized homophobia (which typically looms large before and during the early coming-out process), they’re more often looking for men who act masculine. All too often, gay men who don’t address their internalized shame will find themselves attracted to unavailable men. If a sought-after man does become available emotionally, then it confirms the fact that the seeker is indeed gay and forces him to deal with all the issues of being half of an out gay couple. So for these conflicted gay men, straight men are desirable precisely because they will never become available.
Forbidden fruit: Straight men are also off-limits. Knowing we cannot have them may enhance our desire for them. Hitting on a straight man runs the risk of humiliation, verbal or physical harassment or assault, or even death, but the danger involved can actually add to sexual arousal, which is often fueled by fear, risk and danger.
Straight men represent authority: A typical — and popular — **** scenario features a hot, straight military officer, policeman, boss, coach, teacher or other authority figure who forces himself onto a subservient gay man. And both wind up enjoying it! This fantasy lets gay men feel “accepted” by a straight man (at least in fantasy) and offers them a way to feel good — even validated — about being dominated. Outside sexual role play, the reality would be horrifying, and it is indeed horrifying when it happens, but in sexual fantasy, danger is cleverly tamed to become pleasure.
Straight men represent father figures: When a client enjoys fantasies about straight men, I suggest that he explore his relationships with important, influential straight men in his life — starting with his father. His answers may lead him to make friends with straight men and find ways to achieve some personal healing.
Taking a few steps back, why do people have sexual fetishes — role playing, daddy/boy fantasies, dominance/submission, humiliation, or coaxing straight men to momentarily “turn” gay and have sex with you, to name a few? Sometimes it’s simply because their bodies respond erotically to those behaviors, but other times a psychological meaning is trying to express itself. Often it’s a little of both.
A need for a sense of belonging and masculinity: Sexual fantasies about straight men can represent a longing to be accepted by straight men in general. Long marginalized by our straight male peers, excluded from the male fraternity, many of us gays long to get back in, and getting a straight guy to be sexual with us would be proof that we’ve finally been accepted. As a culture, we have been wounded, bruised, beaten down and humiliated by straight men; therefore, these figures are the targets of both our very strong positive and negative transferences. We recognize them in any self-confident straight male, be it our fathers or paternal caregivers, priests, coaches, teachers or any other men whom we perceive to be in a position of power and authority.
We hear over and over that these men would never be accept a sissy boy — which we know we are. As a result, we often fear straight men. As children, we love and admire male role models, and we crave their acceptance. As adults, when we sexualize those same figures, it offers us an unconscious way to feel safely attached to them. In the sexual fantasy of pleasing a straight guy, we finally get a chance to make contact with him and win the approval that we have always wanted. Some gay men even have fantasies of overpowering straight men — seducing and/or forcing them to have sex. Once again, these fantasies can be exciting fun, but growing preoccupied with them or acting on them — even with a willing straight male — won’t help you find Mr. Right, if that’s in fact what you are looking for in the long run. It can also hinder you in examining your own issues and attitudes concerning straight males.
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http://new.www.huffingtonpost.com/jo...b_4453726.html
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Member Since: 6/7/2011
Posts: 1,480
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Quote:
Originally posted by Su-Barbie-A
Why did he use his name as a hashtag?
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Didn't even notice he typed anything. Too enticed by the cake. ![;)](http://www.atrl.net/forums/images/smilies/images/smilies/wink.gif)
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Member Since: 9/4/2011
Posts: 29,960
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 11/4/2010
Posts: 26,597
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Quote:
Originally posted by C/H/A/N/E/L
The point was that we do the most for STRAIGHT men while sleeping on attractive gay men.
Why?
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well, I'm one of the few people who actually support gay males in this forum, I love Adam Lambert, Olly Alexander, MNEK, Rostam Batmanglij, etc.
however, I often find myself arguing with people over this, yet they don't care enough to post it themselves.
if you (as in ATRL) complain so much, then y'all might as well do something about it and start posting, can't be that hard.
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Member Since: 2/4/2014
Posts: 3,737
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![](https://media4.giphy.com/media/UMvAwWfZo8zW8/200_s.gif)
cause i can
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 5/28/2011
Posts: 39,615
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Quote:
Originally posted by Duke.
Straights look better
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?
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Member Since: 4/6/2014
Posts: 9,220
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Because straight men are the forbidden fruit.
I have done things with curious straight guys and it's just not good. They're not fully into it and they don't have experience.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 1,425
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The same reason straight women claim "all hot guys are gays."
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Member Since: 6/7/2011
Posts: 1,480
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Quote:
Originally posted by Duke.
Straights look better
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They really don't. This is just all in your head just like gay men being more attractive is all in straight women's heads. You may also be more attracted to guys who don't heavily groom like many gay men have a tendency to do.
I used to be more attracted to straight men and definitely find many attractive, but I find myself way more attracted to other gay men as I grow older. Plus, there's always this nagging feeling in the back of my head that straight men don't properly douche.
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 5,027
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I stan Robin Lord Taylor so this doesn't apply to me.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 1,425
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God, it's mad annoying when people use the internalized homophobia argument to explain why some gay men aren't attracted to feminine gays.
Some cases are due to that, but that answer isn't relevant to everyone.
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 880
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it's just misogyny at its finest, even some gays are misogynist, it's simple:
Manly = accepted, praised, thirst deserving
while Feminine = degrading, pathetic and disgusting
and I am not saying femininity is exclusive to women, but that's the idea that's still very present in our society, the same with masculinity, personally, I don't really care how they act as long as they aren't assholes.
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 3,063
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Not people saying its self hate lol it's just hot guys why can't we thirst over them? And why would we thirst over Tyler Oakley and Joey graceffa they're ugly af feminine or not
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Member Since: 12/4/2009
Posts: 6,471
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