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Discussion: "Promiscuous gays give our community a bad name!"
Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 12,538
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Member Since: 11/13/2011
Posts: 6,570
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Quote:
Originally posted by swissman
If it’s harder for monogamous-goaled people to find a relationship then the reverse means it’s harder for open-relationship-goaled people to find a relationship.
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I don't get what you mean by that? xD
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Member Since: 8/17/2013
Posts: 3,945
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Who cares if other gay men are promiscuous? It's their business! How would anyone find out anyways?
I'm sure people judge me just as much for being celibate.
Let's try not to judge eachother.
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Member Since: 6/25/2011
Posts: 28,853
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Quote:
Originally posted by Humunukuapua
Promiscuity is nothing to be proud of.
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Hot tea has been SERVED
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 39,572
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I do think that monogamy is important, but that doesn't actually have anything to do with promiscuity
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Member Since: 8/18/2013
Posts: 40,566
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Pls. Anyone can sleep with anyone they want, when they want, how much people they want as long as they're not in a committed relationship and practicing safe sex. However, I blame the people who stereotype the gay community not promiscuous gays themselves
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Member Since: 3/27/2012
Posts: 18,963
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Anytime someone says “I’m traditional” or “old-fashioned” I just think, DON’T BE.
Society needs to progress not regress or stay put. People love to be nostalgic about the way things were or mention how society has changed for the worse, etc. You have people like Stacey Dash lamenting transsexuality and saying she liked it better in the Mad Men days. You have people arguing that marriage is between a man and a woman, because it always had been that way. And people saying that gays are too promiscuous, stating that they should change their ways and go towards a traditional version of partnership. But they are neglecting how tradition often oppresses people: whether you’re black, gay, trans, polyamorous, etc.
We are forgetting that in the past gay people were not accepted in traditional partnerships. Why? Because traditional partnerships were encouraged and enforced by church and state as a means of control. The church could not guarantee a continued source of new followers if they let anyone have children with anyone, so they imposed guidelines with the penalty of sin to ensure that marriage between a man and a woman was respected, and children could then be raised in their church.
Now we are on a new frontier. Gays have had relationships as long as straights, but they were in the shadows. We created our own sub-culture about relationships and were able to define it outside of the "traditional sense". A lot of it had to do with sexuality, because we could only serve our immediate needs and not be “daytime” lovers. That's not to say that there have not been any longterm partners in the gay community, because even without being allowed to be, some people have remained with their partners all their lives. And now we are more accepted. But does this mean we should automatically adopt a culture that was violently denied to us? We have a choice to do whatever we want, and should not be shamed either way.
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Member Since: 2/2/2009
Posts: 20,174
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********. Let people do whatever they want to do. All these straight man*****s and thots aren't giving the straight community a bad name so why would that be the case with the gays?
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Member Since: 8/11/2012
Posts: 3,833
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Y'all don't know how to read. He never said that straight people aren't promiscuous?
He just said that a lot of people perceive the gay community as more promiscuous than the straight community, which, like it or not, is generally the case. I don't think he was trying to **** shame anyone, since he seems mostly to be speaking about people who are in relationships solely to get a nut off (which in his experience, has led to cheating and a lot of emotional pain).
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Member Since: 1/5/2014
Posts: 5,399
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I mean, if you find joy in talking with strangers on Grindr and looking for sex in clubs and that makes you truly happy and fulfilled in life, then do you.
I personally prefer doing stuff with a partner that I love, growing together and learning from each other, visiting different places, having a companion when we go through difficult times etc.
Living for love you know
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 15,224
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Quote:
Originally posted by Poe Dameron
This mentality, there is NOTHING wrong with having sex with lots of people, as long as you're doing it safely. All this **** shaming, that both straights and gays do, needs to stop
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This. The guy sounds like a self loathing/homophobic gay because there are promiscuous straight people too.
Promiscuity isn't even a bad thing if you're honest about it but regardless it wasn't even the gays fault.
The reason gays have the reputation for being so is because it's only become a recent thing for gay couples to 'settle down' since homophobia stopped them from doing so.
Also, gays are more likely to have open relationships because society already tells them they're wrong so there's no need to be in a traditional relationship just for the sake of it.
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Member Since: 3/27/2012
Posts: 18,963
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Quote:
Originally posted by Diarrhoea
I do think that monogamy is important, but that doesn't actually have anything to do with promiscuity
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Exactly.
Promiscuity is what you may do when you're single.
It's as if he wants everyone to stay virgins until they're married.
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Member Since: 2/2/2009
Posts: 20,174
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Quote:
Originally posted by Humunukuapua
Promiscuity is nothing to be proud of.
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Yeah, It's also nothing to be ashamed of or a reason for people to pretend they're above others.
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 1,186
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Do What U Want with your body (ft Legend X) tbh.
You are no one to judge what other people decide to do with their bodies. The more the merrier actually.
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 4,353
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I'm not judging anyone, but he said what I've been thinking for some time now. Call me conservative if you want, but hooking up, having sex with strangers or looking for sex on apps like Grindr disgusts me and I would never do it. It's more and more popular amongst both gay and straight people nowadays and it is in fact the reason why many people who believe in a relationship based on love, me included, have problems with finding a partner. I don't want to sound bitter or something, I respect life choices of other people and their lifestyle, but eventually, I think he has a point.
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Member Since: 3/27/2012
Posts: 18,963
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Quote:
Originally posted by Tutankhamun
I mean, if you find joy in talking with strangers on Grindr and looking for sex in clubs and that makes you truly happy and fulfilled in life, then do you.
I personally prefer doing stuff with a partner that I love, growing together and learning from each other, visiting different places, having a companion when we go through difficult times etc.
Living for love you know
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You’re saying this with a cynical view.
I could change it to:
I mean, if you find having sex with just one person, falling into extended periods of low intimacy and resentment after years of just going through the motions and staying together just because you’ve been together for so long, then do you.
I personally prefer meeting new people, learning and growing through differing experiences, visiting different places, having new companions to share new memories with, etc.
There should be no judgement on either. It's just whatever you want to do, when you're doing it. I've been on both sides of this and have loved both.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 34,855
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 3,421
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ill keep going to bars and making out and ****ing guys every week
**** you prude bitch it aint a gay thing its a hoe thing homophobic **** ****ing **** boy *** sucking ****
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 725
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he's absolutely right and i don't care what some *****s say here, yeah, report me, i don't really care
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Member Since: 3/27/2012
Posts: 18,963
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dekkan
I'm not judging anyone, but he said what I've been thinking for some time now. Call me conservative if you want, but hooking up, having sex with strangers or looking for sex on apps like Grindr disgusts me and I would never do it. It's more and more popular amongst both gay and straight people nowadays and it is in fact the reason why many people who believe in a relationship based on love, me included, have problems with finding a partner. I don't want to sound bitter or something, I respect life choices of other people and their lifestyle, but eventually, I think he has a point.
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You can be promiscuous without hooking up with strangers or being on Grindr...
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