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Discussion: Have you ever experinced Racism in the LGBT community?
Member Since: 8/18/2013
Posts: 40,566
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sunshine.
nlk;j;;;
Too many times to count. On one of the last times I used Grindr, the guy messaged ME (at this point I had stopped putting my picture/race on my profile in hopes that through conversation, my personality could win for once), and we had a decent conversation, but as soon as we exchanged pictures, he stopped replying.
I already knew the reason, but i wanted to confirm nicely. So I asked him, without being pointed, if I wasn't his "type", and he finally replied "yea, sorry. not what I'm looking for." And i replied. "Okay. Thanks for replying. Good luck!"
fff. I may not be HOT, but I don't think I'm ugly... I mean...this was the picture I sent him...
http://i.imgur.com/MV8Tjo0.jpg?3
So I kinda just stopped w/ Grindr because of it. After 2 years of getting rejected mostly cause of my race. I went from proactively messaging guys, to not messaging guys, to removing my image, to removing my race, to just giving up.
Some things just aren't worth it.
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I think you're handsome. His loss as you said, some things just aren't worth it and he's one of them
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 878
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Yes , sometimes people are super ignorant , one time a person said to me do you see yourself or refer to yourself as a black person or as white person like where do you see yourself , And stuff where my origins are like where you live is all deserts and sands what a mess
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Member Since: 10/16/2005
Posts: 16,872
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No, not really, thankfully. Being Latino and Middle Eastern, I just end up looking ethnically ambiguous.
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Member Since: 3/25/2012
Posts: 10,673
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sunshine.
nlk;j;;;
Too many times to count. On one of the last times I used Grindr, the guy messaged ME (at this point I had stopped putting my picture/race on my profile in hopes that through conversation, my personality could win for once), and we had a decent conversation, but as soon as we exchanged pictures, he stopped replying.
I already knew the reason, but i wanted to confirm nicely. So I asked him, without being pointed, if I wasn't his "type", and he finally replied "yea, sorry. not what I'm looking for." And i replied. "Okay. Thanks for replying. Good luck!"
fff. I may not be HOT, but I don't think I'm ugly... I mean...this was the picture I sent him...
http://i.imgur.com/MV8Tjo0.jpg?3
So I kinda just stopped w/ Grindr because of it. After 2 years of getting rejected mostly cause of my race. I went from proactively messaging guys, to not messaging guys, to removing my image, to removing my race, to just giving up.
Some things just aren't worth it.
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And here we have a prime example of why so many LGBT people of color have such low self-esteem. Don't worry sis, I've had many situations like that as well, and you're actually attractive so. It resulted in the same for me too: I've pretty much completely stopped using dating sites or even talking to other gays online (in a romantic sense). It's just not worth the abuse to my self-esteem and it really starts to take a toll on your mental health as well after a while.
We just have to hold out hope that we'll find love one day and it will be with someone who truly deserves us. Anyone who would deny someone because their skin doesn't fit their desired shade on the color wheel is not even worth it to begin with.
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Member Since: 8/6/2015
Posts: 18,803
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sunshine.
nlk;j;;;
Too many times to count. On one of the last times I used Grindr, the guy messaged ME (at this point I had stopped putting my picture/race on my profile in hopes that through conversation, my personality could win for once), and we had a decent conversation, but as soon as we exchanged pictures, he stopped replying.
I already knew the reason, but i wanted to confirm nicely. So I asked him, without being pointed, if I wasn't his "type", and he finally replied "yea, sorry. not what I'm looking for." And i replied. "Okay. Thanks for replying. Good luck!"
fff. I may not be HOT, but I don't think I'm ugly... I mean...this was the picture I sent him...
[deleted just in case]
So I kinda just stopped w/ Grindr because of it. After 2 years of getting rejected mostly cause of my race. I went from proactively messaging guys, to not messaging guys, to removing my image, to removing my race, to just giving up.
Some things just aren't worth it.
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That's so messed up
Don't worry about losers like that If that's you then I think you're very attractive!
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Member Since: 3/25/2012
Posts: 10,673
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Quote:
Originally posted by AALIYAH DANA
!!!. I've heard stories of their being a black and latino nights at clubs because they can't get into the white gay clubs
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It's sad that this even has to be a thing. But I've legit been to a handful of majority white clubs/bars where nobody would even hold a conversation with me beyond "Hi, how are you? Is that seat taken? No? Thanks. *walks away with bar stool*"
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Member Since: 3/25/2012
Posts: 10,673
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It's stories like these that make me feel like I should be an advocate for those "PoC Pride Parades" every year. I always felt that it kind of defeats the purpose of "gay pride" in a way if you separate the pride celebrations by race, but how else are colored LGBT members supposed to get respect and love?
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 9/14/2010
Posts: 78,921
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I've experienced, read, heard, discussed and thought more about racism in 6 years on this forum than the 26 years of my life on this planet.
Does that count? Does atrl count for anything regarding such a serious topic, or has it in fact become so trivial knowing that members post these threads not to have a serious discussion but for click-bait, views and to generally troll for attention 🤔
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 12/7/2011
Posts: 27,655
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Quote:
Originally posted by J a y
I've experienced, read, heard, discussed and thought more about racism in 6 years on this forum than the 26 years of my life on this planet.
Does that count? Does atrl count for anything regarding such a serious topic, or has it in fact become so trivial knowing that members post these threads not to have a serious discussion but for click-bait, views and to generally troll for attention 🤔
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Almost everyone has contributed to the conversation tho?
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 1,477
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Thankfully not, I think in large part because I don't use Grindr.
Someone I was speaking to on Tinder made a "big black ****" joke and it made me feel uncomfortable tbh
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 11/5/2011
Posts: 6,204
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Quote:
Originally posted by AALIYAH DANA
The reason this is needed is because the LGBT community is all about equality yet they write : no rice, no spice and no chocolate" on their dating profiles and exclude POC gays from events. You don't see straight people doing that it's very ironic epically since LGBT are a marginalized group themselves
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!!!!!!
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I was once called a Sand N****r on Grindr in the UK, and was like WTF?!? Had to google the definition because i was shocked and never heard it before.
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 1,477
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I exclusively here terrible things about Grindr, why do y'all give it your time of day?
Also can you report people for racism on it?
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 2,591
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Quote:
Originally posted by Otter
I exclusively here terrible things about Grindr, why do y'all give it your time of day?
Also can you report people for racism on it?
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where else can you meet gay guys sis
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Member Since: 8/17/2013
Posts: 16,461
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Does xenophobia count too? Cause in Europe they usually go hand in hand.
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 2,591
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sunshine.
nlk;j;;;
Too many times to count. On one of the last times I used Grindr, the guy messaged ME (at this point I had stopped putting my picture/race on my profile in hopes that through conversation, my personality could win for once), and we had a decent conversation, but as soon as we exchanged pictures, he stopped replying.
I already knew the reason, but i wanted to confirm nicely. So I asked him, without being pointed, if I wasn't his "type", and he finally replied "yea, sorry. not what I'm looking for." And i replied. "Okay. Thanks for replying. Good luck!"
fff. I may not be HOT, but I don't think I'm ugly... I mean...this was the picture I sent him...
http://i.imgur.com/MV8Tjo0.jpg?3
So I kinda just stopped w/ Grindr because of it. After 2 years of getting rejected mostly cause of my race. I went from proactively messaging guys, to not messaging guys, to removing my image, to removing my race, to just giving up.
Some things just aren't worth it.
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sis I feel so bad. And you are GORGEOUS serving Americas next top Instagram model tease. I have a similar story. Being on grindr has def hurt my self esteem and confidence in my appearance and race. Just getting shut out by so many people say "no blacks" or people not responding back to me because i'm black ****ing hurts. I remember I had made a grindr profile with some plain jane white guy with the same stats as bio as my grindr profile and I got HELLA hits as some point I just feel like i'm not handsome because i'm black
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 2,591
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I just feel like if you're not a masculine white guy you're basically chopped liver in the gay community and nobody wants you
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 7,282
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when I had grindr yeah
rejection and backhanded compliments like "you're cute for a black guy", or the ever popular "I want that bbc"
I was so disgusted by it all, I don't really even make attempts at dating these days. I hate always having to think "I wonder if he likes black guys" whenever I see a guy I think is cute
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Member Since: 8/17/2013
Posts: 5,341
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"What are you mixed with? You know, I'm usually not into black guys but there's something off about you."
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Member Since: 3/5/2011
Posts: 8,561
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nope! not from what I can remember.
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Member Since: 8/17/2013
Posts: 5,341
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This one time, I was talking to a guy and he was telling me that he'd gone to see a musical and then he implied that I probably wouldn't be interested because the music wasn't my "type of music".
Like I wasn't that bothered and I just stopped talking to him, but I'm tired of the assumption that because of my skin color, my favorite artist has to be in hip-hop, rap or R&B. That's not how it works.
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