1. Pretend to be straight your whole life to make your parents happy. Marry a woman, have children, etc. (it is possible for gay men to have sex with women and impregnate them, even if you don't enjoy the sex and might have to fantasise about something else whilst you do it). This may shock you, but millions of gay men all over the world have no choice but to do this.
2. Be gay, upset your parents. In this case I'd recommend trying to move out ASAP and get a job so you're financially independent. You may lose contact with your parents, but at least you can have sex with men and fulfil your sexual desires to the fullest.
I guess there are other options as well. For example, one is that you could lie and tell your mom "You're right, I'm not really gay", and then pretend to be straight your whole life and have sex with men but in secret to make sure your parents never find out.
Another option is to try and force your mom to accept homosexuality (you could do this by calling her homophobic and outing her homophobia to all her friends to humiliate her into accepting you, or you could do something more extreme like tell her that you will commit suicide if she doesn't accept you for who you are, and that will probably work).
I wish you best. This is a very difficult situation for you, and my heart goes out to you. Your mom is a horrible, horrible, evil person, you are so unlucky to be her son. You need to think very hard about what path you will take, as it's potentially life changing. Pretending to be straight might help sustain your relationship with your family, but you will have a lifetime of misery due to never being sexually fulfilled. I guess at the end of the day the choice comes down to sex, or your family (or you could try the option of pretending to be straight but having sex and relationships with men in secret like most gay men in human history (and many current gay men in muslims countries, Russia, etc.) have had to do, that way you could potentially keep your parents happy and still have sex and relationships with men).
Good luck. I can't imagine how you're feeling right now.
Your mom might be misunderstanding the situation, but she's trying to be supportive and caring, so you're already in a good position so far Because of her religious background, you should just give her time and take things easy.
No shade but nothing she said was supportive and caring.
She's in denial and not well educated on the matter but give her time, she didn't deny you as her son, curse you or so but she will need time to deal with all of this, it's clear that she loves you but you know she was raised there in a really homophobic country, give her time and if you both have a chance go to therapy.
She doesn't love you sis... No matter how close she is to you, you need to keep toxic people like her out of your life. You deserve an accepting environment and not her.
I know you are trying to help but probably best if people steer clear of saying things like that in this thread.
Basically what everyone has said above, she's in denial. Hopefully she comes around and realizes that if she loves you as much as she claims she does, she'll accept you the way you are. Even if she doesn't, at the end of the day it all comes down to you and being happy with who you are. You'll always have love and support here
1. Pretend to be straight your whole life to make your parents happy. Marry a woman, have children, etc. (it is possible for gay men to have sex with women and impregnate them, even if you don't enjoy the sex and might have to fantasise about something else whilst you do it). This may shock you, but millions of gay men all over the world have no choice but to do this.
2. Be gay, upset your parents. In this case I'd recommend trying to move out ASAP and get a job so you're financially independent. You may lose contact with your parents, but at least you can have sex with men and fulfil your sexual desires to the fullest.
I guess there are other options as well. For example, one is that you could lie and tell your mom "You're right, I'm not really gay", and then pretend to be straight your whole life and have sex with men but in secret to make sure your parents never find out.
Another option is to try and force your mom to accept homosexuality (you could do this by calling her homophobic and outing her homophobia to all her friends to humiliate her into accepting you, or you could do something more extreme like tell her that you will commit suicide if she doesn't accept you for who you are, and that will probably work).
I wish you best. This is a very difficult situation for you, and my heart goes out to you. Your mom is a horrible, horrible, evil person, you are so unlucky to be her son. You need to think very hard about what path you will take, as it's potentially life changing. Pretending to be straight might help sustain your relationship with your family, but you will have a lifetime of misery due to never being sexually fulfilled. I guess at the end of the day the choice comes down to sex, or your family (or you could try the option of pretending to be straight but having sex and relationships with men in secret like most gay men in human history (and many current gay men in muslims countries, Russia, etc.) have had to do, that way you could potentially keep your parents happy and still have sex and relationships with men).
Good luck. I can't imagine how you're feeling right now.
No, this is really wrong. It will do no favours bringing in an innocent child into the world or tricking a woman over a situation like this.
She doesn't love you sis... No matter how close she is to you, you need to keep toxic people like her out of your life. You deserve an accepting environment and not her.
The people who are saying "she doesn't love you, cut those toxic people out of your life" don't understand the complexity of this issue. You can't assume she doesn't love him, as bad as what she's saying is, in her mind what she's doing is a sign of love, but a very bad and toxic way of doing it. It's not as simple or as easy as to just cut her off. If your mother is being severely abusive, they would have the point, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Now obviously that doesn't mean what your mom is saying isn't toxic, but only in severe cases should you cut her off, especially if you still love her and want her in your life.
I think this is the best advice so far.
Quote:
Originally posted by Citrus
My mother went down a similar route, as well. The whole "we can fix this" attitude, therapy, etc. She came around eventually but it wasn't a fast process. What you do next should probably depend on your relationship to your mom. Are you living with her? Financially dependent? If yes to either of those, be careful and prioritize your safety. If no, then I think it's in your best interest to be firm and reiterate that you are this way not by choice, but by design. God's design, at that, and you believe that he wants you to live, love, and be loved just as much as anyone else. That line of thinking helped appease my mom a bit since it still comes from the religious angle.
Good luck, OP. I went through the same things. My parents are still in the process but we're in a much better place than we were a few years ago. PM if you wanna.
Edit: you'll be the best judge. If you think you need to cut her off of your life to be happy, whether momentarily or permanently, then you can, but if you want to make your mother realize that you're the way you are no matter what and that will make you happy, then do that. You'll know what to do. Good luck.
Don't know why yall are getting upset over this post, especially on ATRL where the vast majority is clearly anti-homophobic. It's true. If you can't be accepting of your own child over something as natural as sexuality, you obviously don't love them unconditionally.
Aww, don't worry sis, you'll get threw this and hopefully she'll come around. If not, then it is what it is. Life will go on and she'll just have to accept it whether she wants to or not.
In the meantime, this song helped me a lot through my struggles, it'll help you too:
1. Pretend to be straight your whole life to make your parents happy. Marry a woman, have children, etc. (it is possible for gay men to have sex with women and impregnate them, even if you don't enjoy the sex and might have to fantasise about something else whilst you do it). This may shock you, but millions of gay men all over the world have no choice but to do this.
2. Be gay, upset your parents. In this case I'd recommend trying to move out ASAP and get a job so you're financially independent. You may lose contact with your parents, but at least you can have sex with men and fulfil your sexual desires to the fullest.
I guess there are other options as well. For example, one is that you could lie and tell your mom "You're right, I'm not really gay", and then pretend to be straight your whole life and have sex with men but in secret to make sure your parents never find out.
Another option is to try and force your mom to accept homosexuality (you could do this by calling her homophobic and outing her homophobia to all her friends to humiliate her into accepting you, or you could do something more extreme like tell her that you will commit suicide if she doesn't accept you for who you are, and that will probably work).
I wish you best. This is a very difficult situation for you, and my heart goes out to you. Your mom is a horrible, horrible, evil person, you are so unlucky to be her son. You need to think very hard about what path you will take, as it's potentially life changing. Pretending to be straight might help sustain your relationship with your family, but you will have a lifetime of misery due to never being sexually fulfilled. I guess at the end of the day the choice comes down to sex, or your family (or you could try the option of pretending to be straight but having sex and relationships with men in secret like most gay men in human history (and many current gay men in muslims countries, Russia, etc.) have had to do, that way you could potentially keep your parents happy and still have sex and relationships with men).
Good luck. I can't imagine how you're feeling right now.
Whatever you do just don't listen to this person. This post is complete ********.
Because of her religious background, you should just give her time and take things easy.
But I meant that she was trying to be. 