Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 41,181
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Matty Records
I'm Gay (JustLuke) - There are some great moments here. The chorus especially is tight and a lot of fun. The chorus has a nice escalation and you have a great build to that final declaration. The whole song is pretty focused and maintains it's tone well, with just enough melancholy worked into the bridge and little details surrounding the break-up. The pre-chorus feels slightly unnessary though. I love the last two lines of the pre-chorus but the first two do not seem to mesh well with the overall tone. The first couple lines of the first verse also feel weaker (especially the rumour/tumour) line, but the song does quickly fall into a good groove. I do question if this will work as a song for Kat though...
Mushy Gushy (8thPrince) - This is my favorite entry from you so far. I like how that chorus seems designed to be nonsensical and fun and how that contrasts with the loneliness in the verses; similarly, I liked the contrast of the more fun, childish words (mushy-gushy) in the choruses and the larger more advanced words in the verses which I thought gave a more whimsical feeling to the lyrics. The repetition of the /s/ sounds throughout also binds the song nicely. I enjoyed it
Forever In A Moment (Sam) - Pretty nice bridge; the escalation in the "locking" items was pretty nice. I do think that the song is structurally sound and pretty streamlined and the song is a pretty nice pop tune. I would say that the chorus (especially the second part) might be a little bit of a strecth in how much they make sense though.
To You... (Hugamari) - You did a pretty great job of getting across the emotion of the song in simple and easy to understand lyrics. The story you told was easy to follow and relate to which is impressive. Although, my concern here is that the song addresses "you" which could easily be interpreted as the audience and it might be hard or uncomfortable reading/hearing "you" as the subject of this song considering the subject matter and how the song ends (I know I put myself in that "you" position)
MonarC Records
Embrace (EuphorianSea) - I like the message of the song; it seems to be pretty AC friendly. Your verses should be more consistent in structure though.
Ferris Wheel (Era) - A couple lines here are very cutting and direct. The first two of your first verse, especially, are simply put but very meaningful and powerful. I like the overall mood of the song; it's sweetly romantic. Watch out for those rhymes that may come across as forced though (the wheel/unseal rhyme in the chorus does not feel natural). Also, the use of passive voice in the 5th line of the chorus is a bit jarring contrasted with the actively voiced other lines. Also, a couple lines could flow better (the 3rd and 4th of the first verse).
Heartwater (keshaspearsxo) - The title phrase might be slightly offputting. Words have different connotations and feelings attached to them and the title phrase might invite some connotations that might make the song inaccessible to some. That being said, I like the overall tone; it's more calming with it's natural imagery.
Truth Records
All Night (dwuw) - Where exactly are the hands going in the second line? I do like the overall vibe and direction of the song for the most part, but there are a couple lines here that give the song an uneven tone and are distracting when compared to the more serious and sensual tone of the majority of the song: "we can't see in the dark" is a prime offender in addition to a couple others. That being said, you also have a couple really nice lines that work and build a nice tension (when you use heat as a metaphor in verse one and the chorus).
Atari (DripDrip) - I did checkle at the constant video game references; although, I do have to question how relevant the atari metaphor is to the urban audience (only a minor concern for me since, it's a song about a break-up at its core which is relevant to the audience). There are a couple places in the verses where the flow could improve and the structure of the verses could be more consistent. There are a couple awkward phrasings throughout (the second line of verse one and the first of verse two for example). I do like the bridge quite a bit though and feel like that section of the song really makes the most of the video game metaphors
****boys (Eros) - The first verse takes a couple lines to get going (for me, line 6 is when it really gets flowing) and get into the groove, but once it does, you get into the zone. The second verse is pretty nice and has some nice quotable lines there, but feels slightly inconsistent in flow though.
On Loving For The First Time (swiftie13) - Some of the story telling here seems borderline country inspired I'm not sure if the opening narration adds to the song; the subject should be apparent without it and it might be a stronger song without. I think there were a couple places where the flow could have been improved, but you set a very nice mood and told a nice story Have confidence!
Ribcage (lovesong) - Interesting title. I do think that you are onto something here and tap into a great vibe. You repeat a lot of the sounds and endings in your words I noticed; there are a lot of "ing" ending words and words with double letters (crosses, feeling) which I felt gave the song a nice recurring rhythmn and flow. I am not crazy about the first couple lines of the chorus, especially the singular use of "body" and the consequent "lets" in the next line. Its a minor thing though. Great vibe and flow overall
Take A Bow (Buyonce1814) - Very nice! Great sense of humor too. There are a couple sections where the flow could improve (in the first part of the first verse and the 6th line of the second verse) and a couple words feel out of place "vicinity" and "ingenious." That being said, I loved the consistency in the theme and a couple lines were brutal, but hilarious (the side chick line and the final line of verse 2).
The Next Time (Jezang Looz) - I'm not completely won over on the story being told. I get the general idea but I feel like some more focus in story telling and song structure could really have beefed up the entry. The first verse mentions how the person that has been broken up with is still a kid but that does bring up the question about who the narrator is in relationship to this "kid." The chorus also mentions that the narrator is hurt, but there is little detail to show the audience the break-up is justified or help the audience empathesize.
Tymphonic Records
Devil's Grin (BlueM) - Some of the imagery was pretty powerful (see the third line of the second verse) and I think that worked for the song. I think that there were a couple places that could flow better (the second part of the second verse) and a line or two that felt awkwardly phrased ("just pretty hard to take that") but I liked the overall dark tone.
Freak (ClarksonSlays) - The "nightlight" line in the chorus almost seems to undercut the impact and gravity of the song since the tone seems to be almost completely menacing and confrontational and I'm not soo sure if the keys line in the pre-chorus makes complete immediate sense. But, the imagery was rightfully intense and consistent while still maintaining a nice flow in the song.
Reptile (inuborg) - I like the central metaphor here; it's interesting and dark; although, I would say that the chorus rhyme (and similie) of "volatile/reptile" doesn't quite make sense with the more patient and calculating reptilian traits described in the chorus and the rhyme comes across as slightly forced. The flow could be tighter in a couple places, like the second half of the second verse but the song's imagery is pretty tight and menacing.
Unravel (conatus) - I thought it was a neat move to add more repetition to each successive chorus. It added to the theme of the song by actually seeming to come apart at the seams and unraveling; it seemed just like the type of thing an indie band would do. I liked the more abstract approach you took and I thoght the song was very well done.
But was GotSkill hired????
YES!!!!
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Liar - Good opening line. It got my attention. You have a couple powerful lines here: the "innocence" line in the pre-chorus and the second line in the chorus have me wanting more. I do think that your word choice betrays you here though. Now, I don't think you need to dumb anything down or conform to any genre cliches, or change your style; however, you might want to be mindful of when a word may or may not be appropriate. I am not so sure an artist that has a $ in his name would be using words like "vendetta," "femme fatale," or "feign." The song though is emotionally tinged and personal feeling which is what was requested, although I would say it does stray slightly from country conventions in that it relies less on little details that tell a story and more on description; but, the artist is unconventional and I like the approach you took.
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