[posh]

I'll make that avatar for you, Buy. I'll post it on your wall when I'm done.

[Buyonce1814]

Originally posted by posh

I'll make that avatar for you, Buy. I'll post it on your wall when I'm done.

You're a star

[conatus]

Unravel (conatus) : I really loved the pre-chorus. It was the highlight of your song and one of the highlights of the whole round. I also loved the second verse. Other than that, this entry was your weakest so far. The chorus was a non-event, which didn't really bother me at first, but the filler word "and" being used in every line to put the meter together annoyed me a bit. I'm against filler words in general, although we all resort to them sometimes, but using the same one three times in the most essential part of your song was not the best idea. The entry was still good, I enjoyed reading it and there was nothing wrong with it, but it didn't wow me overall.

Noted and appreciated.

[Truth Teller]

Originally posted by Truth Teller

Blooming Up Records

Liar (GotSkill) : I really really liked this. It was probably your second best after Dear God. The pre-chorus was the strongest part thanks to the 2 standout lines and the whole song was conceptually very cohesive and well executed. My only problem is the last line of the chorus. I don't see how the world is done with her lies if her lies did manage to "convince them all" that you're a demon. But that's a detail.

Matty Records

Forever In A Moment (Sam) : On the one hand, I feel like this definitely fits the profile of Cat Venti and it's better than not submitting anything. I also really liked the first half of the pre-chorus, really good wordplay. Sadly, this is all the positive feedback I can give to you. Other than that, the song was full of cliches and, in my opinion, it conradicts itself. Your future with this guy has just begun yet you've only got one night to own it? And you're only living for existence? The chorus is rather pessimistic while the verses are uplifting and fun. Also, the chorus almost feels like an empowerment midtempo while the verses are an uptempo summer hit.

I'm Gay (JustLuke) : Bitch
When I first skimmed through the entry, I was far from impressed, but when I actually read it, it was cute. The pre-chorus was the best part, cause it was very tight rhyming and stressing wise and good content wise! I also liked the bridge, I thought it was really cute. Overall, I get the tongue in cheek vibe you were going for. Just watch for those awkward phrases like "throw open the closet door", "my heart's ringing no alarm" (forced rhyme) and, most importantly, "inside the growing tumor".
My biggest concern about this song however is whether it fits the challenge. This is obviously more of Matty's business, but Cat Venti was described as a pop girl who wants to record an album packed with radio friendly smash hits with a classic pop sound. I'm not sure it works that way, but I'm not your CEO anyway.

Mushy Gushy (8thPrince) : This is your worst entry so far. It's like your formula gone wrong. It started out really well, with perfect meter, catchy lyrics and good vocabulary like your usual stuff. But then the chorus was a nightmare to me. Mushy gushy simply doesn't sound good, at least to my ears. So, when it's repeated countless times in the most essential part of any pop song, the chorus, it ultimately ruins the whole song. But the worst thing was the transition of them being mushy gushy to you being mushy gushy. I get that the gypsy gave you the potion and everything, sure, but it ruins the song's coherency. You started off missing someone and begging for someone to love you and then suddenly everyone's in love with you and you're the apple of their eye. It's too hard to follow and relate to.
What I love(d) about your formula is that it managed to be simplistic, even juvenile, and still be irresistibly catchy and undeniably well written. This song sretches that formula too much with juvenile verging on silly. I tried to read it as a camp, theatric song and it did kind of work, but not completely, since I would still probably cringe at the chorus and the transition even if I heard this as a camp, theatric song.

To You... (Hugamari) : Huga girl you did it
This song did manage to prove you're not a one-trick pony. It's beautifully written and the bridge finished me
All I can point out is that there are quite a lot of cliches. You did use them well, so they didn't really bother me that much, but the song would be total slayage if the cliches had been removed and rewritten. But I still really loved this song, great work

MonarC Records

Embrace (EuphorianSea) : Hmm... I like it, it works for the label you chose and everything. You're also getting better at execution. However, after reading the song 4 times, I still don't get the nature of your relationship with the person you're adressing, cause the lack of conceptual coherency leads to mixed messages :
1st verse : you love one another, your relationship gets better every day and (s)he's the fuel to your fire.
Pre-chorus : it's you that breathes purpose into his / her life and (s)he fears your words.
Chorus : you put the storyline aside to tell him/her to embrace stuff.
Post chorus : You want to save him, but from what?
2nd verse : you don't want to hurt or cry, so you introduce sad imagery to a song that was until that point generally uplifting
Bridge : you stopped growing as one, yet his/ her embarace still carries you

Don't take this detailed review as a drag, it's more about taking the time to really show you what I didn't like so that you can fix it. Other than the conceptual confusion, the song was solid execution wise.

Ferris Wheel (Era) : Ugh, you did a wonderful job with the chorus It's really well written and sweet, it really evokes the emotion you intended it to. I think there's something missing from the first verse and the bridge though. I like the simplicity, but they both need that one standout line that will complete them and elevate them, as well as complete and elevate the whole song. It's still a really good entry from you and, from a technical perspective, you keep improving

Heartwater (keshaspearsxo) : Yaaaaaaasssssss, you did it gurl!!! This is it! This song finally recaptured the magic of the other songs I've read from you before PH7. Tree came close, but this one is really it! I loved your metaphors and how consistent they were, I loved your vocabulary, I loved the simplicity, I loved it! The only part I wish was changed is the bridge. It feels rather underworked and it doesn't evoke the same freshness and magic as the rest of the song. But hey, that's the only part I didn't love, so

Tymphonic Records

Devil's Grin (BlueM) : This was solid. I liked the execution. I wasn't a big fan of "chewed hole" or the nebulas line, so watch for those few awkward word choices (and also for filler words like "just") that can let the song down. But other than that, it was your second best entry after COD.

Freak (ClarksonSlays) : Hmm... this was an interesting approach. You signing up to Tymphonic (instead of MonarC) and Jezang signing up to me (instead of Matty) were the two biggest surprises of the week for me. I think you did a solid job given that this was not in your comfort zone and I absolutely loved the bridge, but overall it's definitely not your strongest entry.
In a way, I feel like it lacks content. It's a lengthy enough song, but despite the quantity, most of the lines could be narrowed down to just one verse. It's just about you saying you're a freak, a beast. There's no evolution for the most part. I did like the little storyline about someone bringing you to the dark room, which paints the other person to be the villain and not you, but that storyline was never developped. I also thought the outro emphasized the anticlimax and staticness I'm referring to cause it confirmed that you took all this time to present yourself as a dangerous monster, yet ultimately we didn't see you hurting anybody, you didn't tell us why you're a freak, who turned you into one, who do you seek revenge from, how will you get that revenge... you know. I know it sounds like I'm dragging you, but it wasn't a bad entry by any means. I just want to point out exactly what kept me from loving it.

Reptile (inuborg) : "When I'm on pills play ugly for daddy" was such a good opening line and it stands out in this round for me. It has a rawness to it that appeals to me. Both of your pre-choruses were also quite exceptional and well written. I also liked the "spite-spit" wordplay, despite "spit" not being a word I usually love to see in lyrics. However, the chorus was a little weak for me. The "reptile" metaphor is only prominent in the chorus anyway, so maybe it's the metaphor itself that I dislike, rather than the chorus. I also thought the second verse was rather pointless and clumsy in execution, but the bridge made up for it. Overall, this is just as far from your best entry as it is from your worst one.

Unravel (conatus) : I really loved the pre-chorus. It was the highlight of your song and one of the highlights of the whole round. I also loved the second verse. Other than that, this entry was your weakest so far. The chorus was a non-event, which didn't really bother me at first, but the filler word "and" being used in every line to put the meter together annoyed me a bit. I'm against filler words in general, although we all resort to them sometimes, but using the same one three times in the most essential part of your song was not the best idea. The entry was still good, I enjoyed reading it and there was nothing wrong with it, but it didn't wow me overall.

A little bump before I announce who I hired

[Temporal]

Ugh. I feel like I'm getting hammered this week

[keshaspearsxo]

I CAN'T

[UFO]

Mmmmmmkay I'll take it - at least I'm getting better with execution

Originally posted by Truth Teller

The fact that inuborg is RIGHT here and doesn't say a thing

You just got hired, like celebrate, say something

Silence speaks when words cannot

[conatus]

Originally posted by ClarksonSlays

Ugh. I feel like I'm getting hammered this week

Same.

[Lukey]

Originally posted by feelslikeadream

All this stupid comment is telling us is that our judging obviously went over YOUR head -- I can't imagine any of us judges are as stupid as you think we are in that we didn't 'understand' that your song was meant to be humorous.

The problem is not that you wrote a humorous song, but that you wrote one (full of banal language) about being gay and tried to pitch it to Cat Venti as a smash single. Did you read the assignment or are you just oblivious as to what would actually be a hit?

Chill out

I'm not even taking it that seriously... I obviously take what you guys said into consideration and I already knew that this would be a VERY risky choice, so it's come to no surprise.

Take a breath and chill.

[Stark]

[Jezang Looz]

I could use the bonus points

[Lukey]

I'm Gay (JustLuke) : Bitch
When I first skimmed through the entry, I was far from impressed, but when I actually read it, it was cute. The pre-chorus was the best part, cause it was very tight rhyming and stressing wise and good content wise! I also liked the bridge, I thought it was really cute. Overall, I get the tongue in cheek vibe you were going for. Just watch for those awkward phrases like "throw open the closet door", "my heart's ringing no alarm" (forced rhyme) and, most importantly, "inside the growing tumor".
My biggest concern about this song however is whether it fits the challenge. This is obviously more of Matty's business, but Cat Venti was described as a pop girl who wants to record an album packed with radio friendly smash hits with a classic pop sound. I'm not sure it works that way, but I'm not your CEO anyway.

Thank you and I'll remember this

[Buyonce1814]

Originally posted by Jezang Looz

I could use the bonus points

Jennifer Hudson lost AI and went on to win an Oscar. This is not the end. We will rise like a Lotus and slay the industry.

[UFO]

When I have a concept I usually drift off into other territories

So when I try to stick with it, it becomes bland and vague and the complete opposite

I need to find that middle ground

[Truth Teller]

Truth Records






































WHO WAS HIRED????































Buyonce1814, Eros and lovesong!!!!

All Night (dwuw) : On the one hand, your song definitely works for the description given. Jhenashe would definitely record something of this nature and it does sound like an r&b song lyrically. As far as the content goes, there were good parts and bad parts. I really loved the chorus, it was intense and fast paced. "We're skin to skin, but I still want you closer" was a very good lyric, catchy and well written. I also loved the "getting" trifecta in the first verse, it added passion to it.
However, one can't ignore that the song is merely a collection of cliches. The bridge was rather weak and some lines were quite awkward, especially "this bed's for two" and "put your hands" (where?). I also thought the vibe was inconsistent, cause the song started out chill and laid back, with you telling her not to rush, and then the second verse pulled a 180 on that. Overall, it was far from your strongest entry in this contest, but the catchiness and the fact that you chose the right label / artist for it might save you.

Atari (DripDrip) : This was a really interesting approach actually. Although the song doesn't necessarily feel like something an r&b star would sing, it was still a solid song with an interesting concept, like I've come to expect from you. I loved how consistent your metaphors were, you really made them your main theme and it worked. It's really easy to be cliche with the topic of someone treating you wrong and you wanting to leave but staying (cause it's been done a million times), but you skillfully avoided predictability, as per usual. Was it your strongest entry? No, not for me. Was it perfectly suited to Jhenashe? I'm not quite sure. But it was a great entry nonetheless.

Fυckboys (Eros) : You know what
OK, clearly this song is not meant to be a lyrical masterpiece or a serious magnum opus, but for what it is, you ****ing nailed it
I could totally see myself hearing this on the radio or on the club and helplessly singing along with conviction and passion that caucasians are hardly ever able to pull off. Jhenashe asked for a hard hitting r&b record and that's it. This is lead single material for her. ****ing anthem! It reminds me of your first entry, which sadly I was the only one to like, but it gave me life and so did this one. My only concern is that the first half of the first verse has some really long lines, which may not work meter wise. Other than that, congrats

On Loving For The First Time (swiftie13) : swiftie baby, what happened?
You know I love your songwriting. I've praised you, you were in my top 10 twice and you're one of the 5 contestants that have received a 10 from me throughout the game. But this song is your worst entry. It feels uninspired, it lacks your signature advanced vocabulary and imagery, there are even some inconsistencies in meter and rhyming and even a typo (cause I assume "work the wait" = "worth the wait") and these things are simply not allowed in the last round of the bootcamp.

Ribcage (lovesong) : You really do strive in simplicity, you pull it off exceptionally. This song is beautifully written and it has a great vibe to it. It's a really sweet track that could definitely work on Jhenashe's album as a tender love song. I could even see it being a single. I can also hear how these lyrics could become a full song, I can imagine the production, the vocals and everything, which is always great! My only problem with this song is the title itself. "Ribcage" doesn't exactly fit the vibe of the song and it does hold your chorus back a little bit, but I loved the entry nonetheless.

Take A Bow (Buyonce1814) : I definitely respect your growth throughout the contest. Your meter and rhyming have improved drastically and that's something you'll be able to use in the future to write better songs. This week, there were a lot of parts I liked. I loved the French bit in the verse, it totally worked and it put a smile in my face. I also loved the general feistiness of you dragging his sideline chicks and telling him to use his hand when he misses you. I loved those lines, they packed a punch. I wasn't necessarily a fan of the chorus though. Also, "played the role that you portrayed" was redundant and the song as a whole did have some rather basic moments, but it was enjoyable and a solid entry from you!

The Next Time (Jezang Looz) : Hmm... I was genuinely surprised you applied for Jhenashe given that your taste is more pop driven, so I thought Truth Records would be the only label you wouldn't even consider as an option. Sadly, I was kinda right. This doesn't hit hard enough. There's not enough rhyming in the song to make it a catchy r&b track, the vocabulary is all rather familiar and there are phrases like "say hello to all our friends and tell them we're not okay" that are quite awkward. I also noticed some stressing issues which you didn't have in round 3 and round 4, especially in the first verse. That being said, I did love "he doesn't understand why I keep asking him why" and how the structure of the first verse is totally different to that of the second verse, cause that's very r&b-ish.

[Era]

Ferris Wheel (Era) : Ugh, you did a wonderful job with the chorus It's really well written and sweet, it really evokes the emotion you intended it to. I think there's something missing from the first verse and the bridge though. I like the simplicity, but they both need that one standout line that will complete them and elevate them, as well as complete and elevate the whole song. It's still a really good entry from you and, from a technical perspective, you keep improving

Aww thank you Well as I mentioned in the thread before writing the song as a whole that I only knew the TITLE and 2 lines of the chorus in my head and then I built the whole song around it and for the first time it happened so naturally I really liked it. This is only the second round (after round 1) where the song came naturally to me and I knew what kinda feel I wanted. + as it needed to be a Pop hit the chorus was also my main focus N I understand you about the bridge but I just wanted to keep it simple and easy to sing along to
Thanks again

[feelslikeadream]

Omg, it seems like my high scores from each label don't correspond with the other judges' feedback at all

[Stark]

I spent one hour making an avi I don't like

[Temporal]

I went from No.1 to flopping into oblivion Nelly teas.

[Lukey]

Yesss congrats Buyonce!

I told you !