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Tournament: ATRL's Drag Race - A New Superstar! (Pg. 393)
Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 10,514
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Originally posted by HausofNiko
Post the funniest lines cause I ain't readin it all
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 Scarlett LaPierre
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ATRL's Drag Race Fruit Roast
Welcome again to ATRL's Fruit Roast, a name with about as much thought in it as "Mimi Imsickened". I would like to thank everyone who could attend, including our judges Citrus and Pears and Darcy--oh, wait. But without further ado, let's get started, and please avoid posting download links of "High by the Beach".
Our first judge, Pears, is known for having the songwriting skills of Stevie Wonder... and the fashion sense as well. Pears' poor taste has made Kanye interrupt award winners onstage and almost caused Joan Rivers to make a show called Straight Eye for the Queer Guy. Like Santino, his critiques are puzzling and likely the result of multiple illegal drugs. And also like Santino, Pears kisses Citrus' ass so much that he uses a fruit-themed nickname despite being a Britney fan. As a great queen once said, please stop immediately.
Our next judge needs no introduction... because no one knows him. Poor Subomie. Between Big Brother and ATRL Elite, you've been beaten more often than Susan Lucci at the Daytime Emmys. I would have made the joke about Katy Perry at the Grammys, but that would have been lazier than Pears' critiques. Subomie is the Ivy Winters of the judging panel. He's personable and on point with his critiques, but he's as forgettable as Mimi Imsickened's Pokéthread subtitles. He blends in more than a Kecleon and has the personality of a Sudowoodo. He's treated like a Feebas because he's not even well-known enough to be a Magikarp. Jokes aside, Subomie, you're our Milotic and we wish you the best in ATRL's Next Top Member. 
TheOnlyOne, welcome to the judging panel, even though you took longer to come out than Joey Graceffa. I don't know you well yet, but, much like Willam, you seem to be a fan favorite and a hot-ass mess. Many of your posts seem blunt and egotistical, and I wonder if each critique is going to be an episode of TheOnlyOne's Beatdown. I'm interested in getting to know you as a judge and a person. I would advise you to not disqualify yourself like Willam, but who would want to have conjugal visits with you? 
Darcy, I'm sorry about your ban, but I feel for you. Listening to Lana Del Rey's voice would knock me out for a month, too. I see why you like her, considering you've both struggled with relevancy since the Born to Die era. You've had more work done on your lips than Detox, and, let's face it, your bussy tastes like Pepsi cola because you can't afford Coke. We love you when you're no longer young and beautiful because that ship has long since sailed.
I first met Citrus as a Cher stan, which didn't take long since there are fewer of us on ATRL than people of color in the upcoming Stonewall movie. We ended up hosting the 2014 2015 Cher Crew Awards, which was delayed more than Closer to the Truth and flopped harder than the Stans Behaving Badly challenge. I would congratulate Citrus on winning the last cycle of ATRL's Next Top Member, but I think it's going to be the last time he successfully tops anything. Hell, Citrus has a bigger gap between his legs than the Dressed to Kill tour. Drags aside, Citrus, I am happy to know you and you remain one of my favorite members here. We love you, Citrus. 
Our next queen recently won a challenge for a song about ****ing a guy for sweet tea, which also happens to be Wilhelmina's hourly rate. Like Mariah Carey's residency in Las Vegas, this queen is heavily populated by gay men. Please give a sticky and sweet welcome to Carrie Messiah!
🍌🍇🍈🍉🍊🍋🍍🍎🍏🍐🍑🍒🍓🍌🍓🍒🍑🍐🍏🍎🍍🍋🍊🍉🍈🍇🍌
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 58,053
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Quote:
Originally posted by Subomie
and i LOVE offensive humour so....
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then I hoped you loved my line about giving head
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Member Since: 4/23/2012
Posts: 9,618
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Just curious, could some of y'all post your ages because that would explain a lot. 
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Banned
Member Since: 11/7/2011
Posts: 36,781
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Don't understand what age has to do with this. Offensive is offensive. You've proven yourself as a racist in the past and these "jokes" don't do anything but prove you're a disgusting person.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 34,846
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Quote:
Originally posted by YSL
Just curious, could some of y'all post your ages because that would explain a lot. |
No, it wouldn't lmaoz.
It would only make you look even more foolish.
There's a fine line between pushing the envelope & being down right offensive.
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Member Since: 12/27/2011
Posts: 4,769
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To everyone complaining about YSL being too offensive, it's not like drag queens sit in front of an audience and say knock knock jokes and talk about what happened after a "man walked into a bar", so stop actlng like you're 12, realize and recognize the culture and humor that saturates the drag community in real life, know racism is okay and #VoteForWilehmina.
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Member Since: 8/3/2012
Posts: 5,193
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After reading everyones roast, I still feel confident with mine! 
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 22,001
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The dedicated YSL haters in here tho
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Member Since: 12/27/2011
Posts: 4,769
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Oh god actually crying at all of this
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 34,846
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Quote:
Originally posted by prayer
To everyone complaining about YSL being too offensive, it's not like drag queens sit in front of an audience and say knock knock jokes and talk about what happened after a "man walked into a bar", so stop actlng like you're 12, realize and recognize the culture and humor that saturates the drag community in real life, know racism is okay and #VoteForWilehmina.
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Banned
Member Since: 11/7/2011
Posts: 36,781
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Quote:
Originally posted by prayer
To everyone complaining about YSL being too offensive, it's not like drag queens sit in front of an audience and say knock knock jokes and talk about what happened after a "man walked into a bar", so stop actlng like you're 12, realize and recognize the culture and humor that saturates the drag community in real life, know racism is okay and #VoteForWilehmina.
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You just said racism is okay like wtf.
No. lol it's not okay. like never. why do you only pop up in here when YSL is being dragged? dupe check!
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 34,846
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Quote:
Originally posted by HausofNiko
The dedicated YSL haters in here tho |
Anyone else would be clocked had they made the same joke.
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Member Since: 12/27/2011
Posts: 4,769
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Quote:
Originally posted by jax.
You just said racism is okay like wtf.
No. lol it's not okay. like never. why do you only pop up in here when YSL is being dragged? dupe check!
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Because YSL is my friend and you're annoying.
#YourLifeDoesn'tMatter
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 21,143
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I had to do two posts because it exceeded the character limit.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 21,143
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Quote:
Originally posted by prayer
#YourLifeDoesn'tMatter
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Bitch do NOT get your ass reported and then make a mod pop in during the middle of a freaking roast challenge. 
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Member Since: 8/31/2013
Posts: 21,462
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Quote:
Originally posted by Citrus
I had to do two posts because it exceeded the character limit.
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And you had to give people a little break before the best one 
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Member Since: 9/4/2012
Posts: 23,263
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Yes, Drag humour is very dark and offensive and that's why I love it.
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Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 10,514
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Quote:
Originally posted by prayer
To everyone complaining about YSL being too offensive, it's not like drag queens sit in front of an audience and say knock knock jokes and talk about what happened after a "man walked into a bar", so stop actlng like you're 12, realize and recognize the culture and humor that saturates the drag community in real life, know racism is okay and #VoteForWilehmina. |
Bye.
You can use dark humor and you can be offensive in comedy. But there's a way to go about it. Bringing up Aaliyah, Chris Brown and "retarded" jokes screams "edgy middle schooler in 2008". All three jokes were lazy, crass and disrespectful in three different areas.
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Member Since: 12/27/2011
Posts: 4,769
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Quote:
Originally posted by Subomie
Yes, Drag humour is very dark and offensive and that's why I love it.
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Exactly.
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Member Since: 9/4/2011
Posts: 29,960
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*reports Citrus cuz his post contains YSL's roast*
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