O Magazine
18 February 2014
Oprah: Tigre.
Tigre: Oprah dahhling.
Oprah: You are...a nominee..for FOUR AWARDS. Wow. FOUR AWARDS. How do you feel?
Tigre: I feel wonderful Oprah dahhling. Yass I'm excited to represent Queen Mimi this year and take home some awards!
Oprah: Is it true that MCBeth forgot you originally?
Tigre: yes O it is indeed the lost soul stays pressed over dreamloverfantasy being nominated for the same award as her *pours splash* why am I pouring this for myself? Where's Posh? And what's with the recess lighting dahhling this is BLEAK!"
Oprah: I know doll I'll have Gayle take care of it.
Tigre: tell Gayle I didn't see her at the swap meet last week. Bitch better start showing up!
Oprah: of course of course love. Anyways I. Love. Mariah. and I want to know what you think of the Lambily.
Tigre: well they're my family. Anytime they need a friend I will be here. MCBeth is like the mother...Neptune is like the father...Erica is the obviously gay little brother. I mean RAINBOW and GLITTER dahhling. But you gotta love ha. And then there's Altidor...the Charmbracelet stan. Always attempting to force the erased memories of 2002 Mariah back into our brains *pours another splash*
Oprah: We had Mariah on the show that year! The hair and makeup. Wow. Terrible.
Tigre: Preach O *pours another splash* where's the Godiva chocolates? Anyways I'm hoping I win Best New Lamb. I deserve it.
Oprah: Even over Miracle Whip and Sissy?
Tigre: *hair flip* yes. Especially Mayonnaise. But I hope that in whatever they choose to do they have longevity.
Oprah: What will you be wearing?
Tigre: I'm gonna *pours another splash* channel 1997 Mariah...with the classic slit skirt *pours another splash* and bandeau style top. It's gonna be festive. I can't pretend *pours another splash* that doesn't mean a thing to me.
Oprah: #Beautiful! What do you have to say to anyone reading this magazine?
Tigre: Be sure to watch my four acceptance speeches dahhling. And buy You're Mine on iTunes. Especially Taste of Honey with ha illegal downloading self.