| |
Tournament: PLΔTINUM HIT 7
ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 56,234
|
Quote:
Originally posted by dwuw
People hate Catastrophe dddd
|
Random Thots have the worst taste. Don't trust them.
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 57,339
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Sam
Why do I feel like I'd be the Paula of the panel if I was a judge? I read a few of those songs that got bad reviews and I liked them.  |
That wouldn't be the only thing making you the Paula of the panel. 
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 9/12/2012
Posts: 26,389
|
Quote:
"A return to form  This is definitely your best entry so far."
|
I'm glad someone agrees. 
Quote:
|
"You kept all of the advantages of your top 10 songs (fast pace, well crafted verses, tight rhyming, perfect meter), but you added some pretty amazing structure! I could definitely envision the song just by skimming and seeing how you divided your parts."
|
That's something that people have said before, which I am really glad that I'm able to convey that. I think it helped a lot that I worked with an instrumental this time. 
Quote:
|
"There are only two problem in this song, but neither affected your score significantly. 1) it's in the same vein of your first two entries, which I totally get after you experimented with #OTF, 2) it gave me more of a "hot" vibe than it gave me a beauty vibe."
|
Legit, I did want to depart from the sexual theme my songs have taken, as redundancy is what got me eliminated last season I was a contestant in, but I really didn't know how to write about "beauty" without making a dairy farm of cheese, so I figured I'd give "beauty" a bit of an edge and make it more of a dangerous thing to be attracted to.
Really hoping I can find a way to get out of this little cage I'm putting myself in and expand a bit. In a way, I'm kind of making a type of signature for myself, and you'd know a song I'd wrote if no names were attached, but that's not really a good thing when your identifier is "Oh, he only writes about one topic".
---
I was definitely the Paula of the seasons I judged. I couldn't really find it in me to be harsh, and I didn't feel like I helped much. It's part of why I turned down judging this season.
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 30,915
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Sam
Why do I feel like I'd be the Paula of the panel if I was a judge? I read a few of those songs that got bad reviews and I liked them. |
It's very different when people send you their own song, to when you are sent a group of them all at the same time as a judge, I've noticed.
|
|
|
|
ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 56,234
|
Quote:
Originally posted by conatus
That wouldn't be the only thing making you the Paula of the panel. |
All my #1s?
|
|
|
|
ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 59,202
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Sam
Why do I feel like I'd be the Paula of the panel if I was a judge? I read a few of those songs that got bad reviews and I liked them. |
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 41,181
|
 Part 2Mother and Father (conatus) : This song had an interesting concept and a near perfect execution minus some slight stressing flaws here and there, but I hardly ever take points off for that. The chorus was incredible and even though the verses didn't quite slay me, they still managed to complete the song well and produce some of the best and most carefully written rhymes of the round.
Music For The Deaf (keshaspearsxo) : It was solid. I liked the concept and I loved the effortless passion, anger and hopelessness that were conveyed. I won't stress whether it was the perfect interpretation of chaos, because it was probably the hardest word anyway. Just be very careful of the details. The bridge was too literal ("divorce", "statistics") and there were some awkward lines ( "in love with he"), although I get why they were ther. But still, a solid entry. Not better than Tree, but better than other entries.
My Paradise (Sam) : Yes, yes and yes  Very simplistic, but that's what I loved about it. The concept of closing your eyes to find inner peace is relatable to all of us and you brought it to life in a very good way. You probably had the most technically perfect entry, cause I never stopped reading to check why one of the lines sounded poorly stressed or off meter. Now, this isn't necessarily a memorable or excellent entry, but it's pretty amazing nonetheless and you got the job done.
One (Pecinta Mariah) : You know I love you, but this was your weakest entry so far. There's nothing wrong about making your song really short, but if this is the direction you choose, you have to make sure each and every one of the few lines hits HARD. In your song, that sadly didn't happen. On the one hand, I LOVED the structure of the verse and the repeated words added intensity to it. I also loved the imagery in the pre-chorus and I do think you represented "solitude" well. On the other hand, the chorus, which matters even more when the verse and pre-chorus are just 6 lines in total, was a non-event. None of the lines stood out or wowed me and it was all pretty standard. The rhyming was also rather problematic.
Overflow (inuborg) : The Azealia influence  I can kinda hear her voice rapping this tbh. I liked it. I loved how far away from your comfort zone you went for this. The main problem was the chorus, it felt really week to me. I get that the chorus usally matters very little in rap songs, especially when there are 3 full length verses to carry the song, but I still needed it to be a bit better. Other than that, there were a few akward lines here and there and a few not so powerful rhymes, but it was a good effort overall.
Perfect Storm (Era) : Your best entry yet! Sure, there were a few little mistakes in meter, but they didn't matter much cause the song managed to flow regardless. I love how you've established the changing lines in your choruses, it's a great way to add escalation and I think you're the only one who does it consistently, so it's become your signature  (don't hesitate to switch it up though). The final chorus was my favorite and all the choruses carried the song beautifully. My main concern is that the beginning of the song felt a little plain and familiar. The story telling was more advanced and multi-dimensional in the choruses.
Red River (Musickid203) : In my opinion, the subject of suicide, as cliche as it has become, should be handled with some songwriting finesse, some subtlety. Repeating "rip away" 16 times is way too raw for me. That is however subjective. On a more objective analysis, regardless of your approach, the first verse was poorly written imo. For instance, "lends a blow to a few Joe Blows" and "her patients never knew she's got A.I.D." (without an S to rhyme it with I.D. ) were NOT good choices. And then the second verse was too straight forward in its description of her life. "higher than a blimp", the pimp line, the abortion line... I don't know man. But, aside from how my personal taste doesn't allow me to like your song, I will still say you had a good concept, a solid storyline and an unexpected approach, so that's where you got some points from me.
Sanity (Buyonce1814) : You're definitely getting better at putting a song together, rhyming and meter wise. So, that's good. I just want you to try to combine that new found comprehension of the technicalities with the passion and effortlessness of Fireflies and Trigger, cause this one lacked that. I got the feeling you were trying to convey, although your emphasis wasn't so much on sanity, but on the lack of it and how you tried to regain it. The main problem however is the wording. "my efforts were declined", "I've tried to try" and the use of "blase" in the chorus didn't feel natural. "blase" in particular is a good word to use, but it doesn't work with the vibe of the song. But on a more positive note, comparing your first entry with this one shows me that you probably had the biggest improvement in this game and I really respect that.
Through The Night (Gotskill) : The chorus was probably your second best after Dear God and the verses were solid. I don't necessarily love that you rhymed "room" with "volume" because, since you're not British, that doesn't really work. There were a few stressing issues in the verses too, but I didn't care that much.
Tug Of War (EuphorianSea) : By far your best entry so far. First of all, this is the the closest you've ever been to perfecting your meter, stressing and rhyming. Secondly, I loved the general approach of presenting insecurity as a tug of war with you in both sides, I thought that was a great image to build the song around. And last but not least, there were many quality standout lines. I liked the intensity of "something from inside holds me back and I'm scared" and I also loved "I fear fear itself", although it might not sound good if your melody doesn't allow some sort of gap between the verb fear and the noun fear, but whatever, I liked the line. Now, there are still some details that need work. I didn't necessarily love the broken - unbroken rhyme. Also, "I run towards, towards my home / Where the insecurities grow" : watch the stressing, it's messed up here.
Wrecked Inside (BlueM) : Let's start with the positive feedback, cause this time I have some for you  First of all, I love how you interpreted restriction and turned it into chains of love. I also loved how "ain't love all we need?" turned into "ain't freedom all we need", it made me feel like I was watching the story progress. And finally, this is sort of a return to form. What messed up your round 2 and round 3 entries was how plain and straight forward they were, but this one has good metaphors and imagery. However, some issues still hold it back from being on a Castle Of Dreams level. The content itself is still not up there. There are a few redundant / obvious lines ("These chains of love got a little too heavy / and I can’t easily break them anymore"), the bridge alternates the feeling of you being restricted and your lover being at fault (I get you wanted to switch it up for a dramatic twist, but it didn't work for me) and I feel like some words and images are a little overused. Like, ok, you're chained, I get it. But overall, it was better than your round 2 and round 3 submissions
Zig Zag - 8thPrince : I've already told you you've established a style and you're still consistent with it. All your songs sound like fun, carefree, irresistibly well written old school songs. Even the title Zig Zag reminds me of an old (local) song!  And I LOVE it. You've maintained your style without making it boring! This wasn't your best entry, because there wasn't a lot of progress or escalation, since you basically analyzed the same dilemma / zig zag throughout the song, but it was close to the level of your previous entries
|
|
|
|
ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 56,234
|
Quote:
Originally posted by JustLuke
|
You still got "overall not a bad entry" tho. I think you'll be safe.
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 2,514
|
My song is about two people, who aren't necessarily the best for each other, but they both have very fundamental influence on each other. They get so twisted in each other that they don't know up from down and real from fake. So they kind of live in their own little fantasy world, like a dream. We don't know whose dream it actually is (the one in control) but obviously the singer would like you to believe its them, but honestly I don't think it is. I think the singer is so madly in love and went through all the craziness of love where they feel like they went full circle and are back to normality. Except love is unusual, it isn't as simple as something like a circle. Its weird, complicated, unpredictable, like a dream.
That's my concept.
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 57,339
|
Quote:
|
Mother and Father (conatus) : This song had an interesting concept and a near perfect execution minus some slight stressing flaws here and there, but I hardly ever take points off for that. The chorus was incredible and even though the verses didn't quite slay me, they still managed to complete the song well and produce some of the best and most carefully written rhymes of the round.
|
Thank you!
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 57,339
|
Some people really liked the chorus, and some thought it was the weakest part of the song, so this definitely makes me feel a bit better about it!
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 13,381
|
I actually turned Azealia on after reading Overflow and bopped to Esta Noche and Ice Princess a couple times.
|
|
|
|
ATRL Senior Member
Member Since: 1/6/2014
Posts: 8,787
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Sam
Ugh I have to wait for Part 2.  |
Welcome to my world
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 57,339
|
Truthy, are we getting anything else today?
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 30,915
|
Whew so much better than I expected 
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 9/12/2012
Posts: 26,389
|
Oh, and since the round is long gone, I named my song #OTF as an experiment to see if numbers and characters were prioritized over letters...and they were.
I got to read my review first. 
|
|
|
|
ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 56,234
|
Quote:
|
My Paradise (Sam) : Yes, yes and yes Very simplistic, but that's what I loved about it. The concept of closing your eyes to find inner peace is relatable to all of us and you brought it to life in a very good way. You probably had the most technically perfect entry, cause I never stopped reading to check why one of the lines sounded poorly stressed or off meter. Now, this isn't necessarily a memorable or excellent entry, but it's pretty amazing nonetheless and you got the job done.
|
Thank you for pointing that out, I tried really hard to make the flow effortless. I think that the general subject matter was part of the reason why it's probably not an outstanding or memorable entry overall from your perspective because it's not really a subject I would have chosen myself, so I know what you mean, BUT in saying that I'm still happy with how I handled it. So thank you!
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 9/12/2012
Posts: 26,389
|
But I don't get how I can be 6th in one of TT's rankings, but be 7th in this one, but it's my best.
TT also said the overall average of scores was lower, but that could mean the lower end of the spectrum was really low.
Not that I'm complaining because showing improvement over rounds is always a good thing. 
|
|
|
|
ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 56,234
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Hugamari
But I don't get how I can be 6th in one of TT's rankings, but be 7th in this one, but it's my best.
TT also said the overall average of scores was lower, but that could mean the lower end of the spectrum was really low.
Not that I'm complaining because showing improvement over rounds is always a good thing. |
The competition is getting stiffer + there were a lot that struggled this week. The highs were high and the lows were low. A double edged sword. That's how I see it.
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 9/12/2012
Posts: 26,389
|
WAIT. How many pairings were in TT's Top 10? I know Drip & me, along with conatus & Sam were. 
|
|
|
|
|
|
