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Discussion: What do you have against fem gays?
Banned
Member Since: 12/29/2002
Posts: 19,803
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Quote:
Originally posted by RedDlicious
THIS. IS. SO. ****ING. STUPID.
Honestly people from within the gay community who feel and believe these things makes ME wish that y'all will get even half of the gay bashing and violence towards you. You would deserve it for putting out ******** like this. ALL of those are generalizations, and BAD ones at that. It shows how unintelligent you are. Bigots like YOU are the worst thing to happen to mankind.
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You put yourselves up for bashing and violence. Ask me how many times I've been bashed or bullied for being gay? ZERO. All my friends and classmates knew about it and I live in a very homophobic country.
The fact is, It's hard for the world to respect someone who downgrades from a man to a fem. When you do that you become a caricature of yourself, and honestly who can respect that?
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Member Since: 10/22/2010
Posts: 5,215
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Take it easy people.
I have a friend who is a fem gay and I've been changing my view since
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Member Since: 8/2/2010
Posts: 12,507
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Quote:
Originally posted by fanoftalent
That's an interesting point, but I'm not convinced. Or I should say it has a good side and the bad side. Gay prides and gay activism is very good at promoting gay acceptance among people who have at least partially liberal mindset, but I think being stereotypically over the top gay causes even more hatred from bigoted and highly conservative people.
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But that is not there problem, now is it? They shouldn't have to change who they are or how they act, to appease a bunch of ignorant close-minded individuals.
Bigoted and highly conservative people are not dumb, they know good and well that gay people come in all colors, sizes, and personality types...if they pull that card, they are simply using it as a crutch and an excuse. Seeing a gay man who doesn't fit some tired stereotype, will not change their minds...any which way.
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Member Since: 3/4/2009
Posts: 5,549
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mr Telephone Man
But that is not there problem, now is it? They shouldn't have to change who they are or how they act, to appease a bunch of ignorant close-minded individuals.
Bigoted and hoghly conservative people are not dumb, hey know good and well that gay people come in all sha[es, sizes, and personality types...if they pull that card, they are simply using it as a crutch and an excuse. Seeing a gay man who doesn't fit some tired stereotype, will not change their minds...any which way.
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It might become a problem for gays if the bigoted ones try to use physical means to show their hatred. But I agree. Its the bigoted who should change not the gays.
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Member Since: 12/1/2010
Posts: 23,572
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My experience with fem guys is that they are out there in terms of boldness and sexuality. I felt uncomfortable hanging out with a fem friend at first. He wanted me to help him move, and I did it no problem. I just felt like his sexuality spoke loud enough for the both of us. Being as though I am not as flamboyantly out, it took a few minutes to get used to even though I was out of the closet. I just find 'over the top' people to be too much to handle at times, but it has nothing to do with them being feminine.
No one is annoying because they are fem, he is annoying because of [insert annoying trait]. I think it is unfair to classify someone as annoying, promiscuous, or stupid because he expresses feminine qualities. That reduces the person as a fem guy, when they are much more than that, which is pretty narrow minded way of thinking. If I don't like someone, it is because they are annoying not because they are fem.
Just as with any fear or dislike, it says more about the person than the fem guy. Gay people have this strange ability to make other people feel uncomfortable, but really isn't us. It is them. They are just uncomfortable with themselves. If someone is saying, "I don't want to hang out with Greg, he's too girlie" then obviously Greg makes him uncomfortable because this person doesn't want to represent what Greg is bringing. It is annoying, IMO, because I believe you should discredit someone based on their personal characteristics.
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Member Since: 12/28/2010
Posts: 26,529
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Quote:
Originally posted by IfICannotLove
A masculine gay hating or discriminating a feminine gay is no different than when any gay is discriminated or hated by a heterosexual. It's true, that the masculine gays who (NOT ALL MASCULINE GAYS) try to keep it down low and fit in don't do as much as the feminine gays do for their community. Though I'm bisexual, I side with the feminine gays here on this matter. Don't hate on the feminine gays, don't hate at all... If you're scared that your friends are gonna hate you or something because you hang around with a feminine gay... I think that says enough about who you hang around with.
Grow up and accept it all.
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I definitely agree with you on this....
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Member Since: 12/28/2010
Posts: 26,529
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Quote:
Originally posted by Vertigo Stick
My experience with fem guys is that they are out there in terms of boldness and sexuality.
[/I]
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this doesnt apply to all , there are only some fem guys that are out there in terms of boldness and sexuality.
and its the same thing with masculine guys
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 5/28/2011
Posts: 39,615
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Quote:
Originally posted by Vato
You put yourselves up for bashing and violence. Ask me how many times I've been bashed or bullied for being gay? ZERO. All my friends and classmates knew about it and I live in a very homophobic country.
The fact is, It's hard for the world to respect someone who downgrades from a man to a fem. When you do that you become a caricature of yourself, and honestly who can respect that?
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The fact that they can be loud about themselves and you're here bitching about them pretty much tells me that THEY'RE more of a man than you are.
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Member Since: 11/11/2010
Posts: 1,720
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Quote:
Originally posted by Vato
You put yourselves up for bashing and violence. Ask me how many times I've been bashed or bullied for being gay? ZERO. All my friends and classmates knew about it and I live in a very homophobic country.
The fact is, It's hard for the world to respect someone who downgrades from a man to a fem. When you do that you become a caricature of yourself, and honestly who can respect that?
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Let's break this the **** down, shall we:
1) The implication that being feminine is less than being masculine is not only bigoted towards femme gay men, but also that women are less than men. As if acting like a woman makes you less of a person than acting like a man. This shows how low of a person you are
2) There is a difference between feminine and full-out drag queen, which is usually for entertainment anyway. I am friends with a lot of drag queens, and they are the most courageous people in our community. They are the ones who will stand up to bashers and fight for our rights etc
3) It is different in homophobic countries...I understand that there is more of a risk involved and understand not wanting to be femme in that situation. But in the US there is NO reason we can't act as feminine as we want to. We take on the brunt of homophobia, and it isn't fair for the scared little "masc" homos to side with the bigots. I did it earlier in the thread, and I will do it again....the BIGOTS are the problem in any discrimination situation, NOT the stereotype that is hated on.
4) I am not a caricature of myself. I am naturally feminine, I am naturally loud, and I am naturally gay. People who posture themselves to be more masculine or "straight-acting" because they are so ****ing scared of society not liking them...THAT is the caricature, THAT is the act.
5) Yeah, maybe you have never been gay-bashed. But I bet you have never stood up for gays or their rights either. I bet you cower in the corner and say nothing...because that is what so many of your type do. Can't wait for that to backfire.
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Banned
Member Since: 12/29/2002
Posts: 19,803
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Quote:
Originally posted by DiamondDust
Seconded. Some of these folk are just so, so stupid.
If you're going to discriminate against an effeminate gay because "they're so annoyiiiiinggggg omgzzzz" and cast judgment on the grounds of--I dunno--one of the completely ridiculous "reasons" Vato posted, then YOU'RE the asshole and YOU'RE the one who just might be robbing yourself of a good time, a loyal friend, and a rewarding relationship--romantic or platonic. Based on the "logic" shared in this thread, we should start bashing tomboys and girls that play softball--they don't fit into the gender stereotype you all want, but somehow that's more appropriate...??
Some of you children really need to grow the **** up.
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Are we really going to discuss stereotypes? REALLY?! Fems are the very definition of stereotype. A stereotype that unfortunately haunts every gay man in the world. All because you want to be like the "fabulous" gays that TV and media have created.
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Member Since: 12/21/2010
Posts: 51,088
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Quote:
Originally posted by MrPeanut
Then the problem is with the people doing the stereotyping and discriminating against people based on that, not the ones who are acting true to themselves instead of feeling obligated to conform to some socially constructed gender role.
There obviously are gay people who happen to fall closer in line with that gender role and can be true to themselves just the same, but those who aren't that way shouldn't be derided.
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A+ comment as always, Peanut.
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Member Since: 12/1/2010
Posts: 23,572
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Quote:
Originally posted by skyler_
this doesnt apply to all , there are only some fem guys that are out there in terms of boldness and sexuality.
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Well that's why I said "My experience," to avoid generalizing all fem gays as that..given that I have not surveyed all fem guys around the world
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Member Since: 10/13/2010
Posts: 748
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I Love All Gays. Nobody should have no reason not to like them.
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Member Since: 12/28/2010
Posts: 26,529
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Quote:
Originally posted by Vertigo Stick
Well that's why I said "My experience," to avoid generalizing all fem gays as that..given that I have not surveyed all fem guys around the world
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oh
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Member Since: 7/10/2010
Posts: 9,489
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Quote:
Originally posted by skyler_
I shave those too
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Boy,
Quote:
Originally posted by RedDlicious
OK so admit that YOU are scared to come out of the closet and don't deflect and put the blame on US. Just because we are living out and proud and as femme as we feel comfortable doesn't mean there is something wrong with us.
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Hell yeah im scared to come out but that has nothing to do with fem guys that’s just my own insecurity problem that I have to deal with. But I don’t care if u is loud and proud do u but I just don’t want to be around that because I don’t like attention to be drawn on me. Im still on the dl but once I come out I will have a few fem friends yall crack me up at times lol.
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Member Since: 11/11/2010
Posts: 1,720
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Quote:
Originally posted by Vertigo Stick
My experience with fem guys is that they are out there in terms of boldness and sexuality. I felt uncomfortable hanging out with a fem friend at first. He wanted me to help him move, and I did it no problem. I just felt like his sexuality spoke loud enough for the both of us. Being as though I am not as flamboyantly out, it took a few minutes to get used to even though I was out of the closet. I just find 'over the top' people to be too much to handle at times, but it has nothing to do with them being feminine.
No one is annoying because they are fem, he is annoying because of [insert annoying trait]. I think it is unfair to classify someone as annoying, promiscuous, or stupid because he expresses feminine qualities. That reduces the person as a fem guy, when they are much more than that, which is pretty narrow minded way of thinking. If I don't like someone, it is because they are annoying not because they are fem.
Just as with any fear or dislike, it says more about the person than the fem guy. Gay people have this strange ability to make other people feel uncomfortable, but really isn't us. It is them. They are just uncomfortable with themselves. If someone is saying, "I don't want to hang out with Greg, he's too girlie" then obviously Greg makes him uncomfortable because this person doesn't want to represent what Greg is bringing. It is annoying, IMO, because I believe you should discredit someone based on their personal characteristics.
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Member Since: 12/21/2010
Posts: 51,088
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Quote:
Originally posted by Vato
You put yourselves up for bashing and violence. Ask me how many times I've been bashed or bullied for being gay? ZERO. All my friends and classmates knew about it and I live in a very homophobic country.
The fact is, It's hard for the world to respect someone who downgrades from a man to a fem. When you do that you become a caricature of yourself, and honestly who can respect that?
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So you should pretend to be someone else so you don't get attacked? I think that's pretty cowardly.
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Member Since: 3/30/2011
Posts: 5,259
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Quote:
Originally posted by Vato
You put yourselves up for bashing and violence. Ask me how many times I've been bashed or bullied for being gay? ZERO. All my friends and classmates knew about it and I live in a very homophobic country.
The fact is, It's hard for the world to respect someone who downgrades from a man to a fem. When you do that you become a caricature of yourself, and honestly who can respect that?
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People like you are worse than your regular redneck homophobes; at least they don't PRETEND to be open-minded.
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Member Since: 4/7/2009
Posts: 34,961
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I personally crack jokes on them sometimes, but I know deep down inside I would not have the courage to go what they go through or have the confidence to me myself. So I commend them.
I use to be ignorant and think all of them were catty, annoying and crave for attention but that's so not true, that has to do with the particular individual. And they aren't less of a man because I know some fems that would beat that ass like a professional boxer, good at physical sports, etc.
Funny because today on the train there was a fem guy who was getting stared down and some kids were talking **** about him in their lingo, yet he didn't notice/understand, but I did. I was seriously ready to fight for him if they started some ****.
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Member Since: 12/28/2010
Posts: 26,529
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Quote:
Originally posted by Vato
Are we really going to discuss stereotypes? REALLY?! Fems are the very definition of stereotype. A stereotype that unfortunately haunts every gay man in the world. All because you want to be like the "fabulous" gays that TV and media have created.
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disagree with this
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