Hello everyone! Wow, it seems like yesterday (or rather, forever ago!) that we had a full top twelve, waiting to see who was the best performer from ATRL! And now, we have five left. Five singers all vying for your acceptance (or rather, just your votes).
So, which of these five contestents will you be giving your vote to? Will it be...
Beyonce Knowles?!
[Beyonce walks out and the crowd cheers!]
Beyonce: Obviously it's going to be me! I'm a survivah baby, and I can't lose!
Chris: Or will it be...
Chester Bennington?
[Chester walks out and stands by Beyonce, and the crowd cheers again!]
Chester: I always wanted to be the biggest star on ATRL, so hopefully my dreams will come true!
Chris: Well, good luck! Or, will you guys choose
Jesse McCartney?
[Jesse walks out and stands by Chester. Fangirls squeal and audience claps!]
Jesse: I think it's pretty awesome I've made it this far, so it'd be pretty rad if I could win, ya know?
Chris: Of course. Or maybe you guys want to vote for
Christina Aguilera!
[Christina walks out and the audience cheers]
Christina: Bitch, please! Of course I'm gonna win, cos I'm a fighter!
Chris: Awesome! and last, maybe y'all are gonna want to vote for
Brent Smith!
[Brent walks out, stands by xtina, and the audience cheers]
Brent: Well, I think that this crowd looks like a crowd that knows how to ROCK! AM I RIGHT?!
[Audience cheers]
Brent: That's what I thought!
Chris: Thank you Brent. Now, you guys are going to all get to see these contestants to perform in a moment! Hopefully you all will pick the person who has chosen the best song, and I hope you enjoy the show! Our theme tonight is songs from the 1990s! But first, I want to introduce our new judge. Replacing Miss Cleo, we have... KATHY GRIFFIN!
Kathy Griffin: Hello, adoring fans!
[cricket sounds]
Kathy Griffin: BUT I'M FUNNY! I may be on the D-List but I'm still better than all of you!
[tumbleweeds roll across the stage]
Kathy Griffin: Whatever.
[Miss Cleo comes out from behind the stage]
Miss Cleo: DARLINS! WHY DO I NOT BE A JUDGE ANYMORE?!
Kathy Griffin: Oh please. *bitch slaps Miss Cleo*
[Miss Cleo stomps out]
Chris: Anyway! Back to the show!
First up, we have...
BEYONCE KNOWLES performing Don't Let Go by En Vogue from 1996!
Paris Hilton: That was hot. You were hot! I love the way you get into the song and you feel it! You make me feel it. And I'm hot.
Simon Cowell: *eye rolls at Paris* Beyonce, listen. I know I usually say that you are good, but tonight, I must say, you outdid yourself. You made that song your own and you did a good job with it!
Kathy Griffin: Just because you're prettier than I am, more famous than I am, and have more money than I do doesn't mean that I have to like everything you do. And usually I don't, but I must admit that this performance was pretty darn good.
Chris: Thank you for performing for us Beyonce! How did you feel about that performance?
Beyonce: Well, honey, the judges seemed to like it and I just had a lot of fun with it. I hope the audience agrees *cute smile*
Chris: I see. Up next we have...
CHESTER BENNINGTON, who will be performing Jumper by Third Eye Blind (1998)!
Paris Hilton: Aww, you're such a cutie. That performance was pretty good, I remember that song from, like, forever ago! You did a good job with it.
Simon Cowell: Judging from your past performances, which have been a bit less up-tempo, I thought that maybe you would have a tough time singing this without screaming it. I was wrong; I think you did a pretty good job in keeping the crowd entertained.
Kathy Griffin: Well, I must say that you are so adorable, and I don't have any dirt on you to make jokes about because you really aren't that famous right now
But you did a good job with the song. I was entertained.
Chris: Thank you judges! Chester, how do you feel about your chances to win the competition?
Chester: Well, Chris, I must say that I do have a chance still. I mean, last round I even had the best amount of votes! So hopefully the voters will still feel the same about me now!
Chris: Well, good luck! Now, I think it's time for a commercial break, but... we'll be back with more great performances from our contestants!
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