Unfortunately I don't live by your rules and my intentions are in favour of the black community so I stand by my comment. how you take it, is up to you.
The appropriate response is "sorry I offended you. I'll refrain from using such terminology in the future" NOT "Sorry you're offended but where I'm from it's completely okay for me to call you chocolate and black people around here are fine with it too"
I know black people who aren't offended by the N word. That doesn't make it okay to use towards other black people. And you'd be surprised by how many black people go along with terms like that just so they seem cool or "non-abrasive"
Generally, people don't like being reduced to foods by strangers. Save that for the foreplay or whatever. Not towards strangers in a discussion about race relations
considering this is a "black and white" discussion I was refering to who I was talking about.
Are you finished being offended by everything you see yet? or is this post also offending you?
I'm not offended by anything you are saying because it is stupid. Your attempts at being inflammatory for attention are a bit concerning but hey if you enjoy being ignorant, then be my guest
Edit: Just realized you're from Australia and probably haven't even seen or spoken to a black person in real life
Also *as if* most black gay men wouldn't have a similar response if someone told them "thank God you're not a chink/spic".
is this what you think?
you think the overwhelming majority of us sit in our homes going on about chinks and spics?
you ain't even Black
stop making **** up
you always come in threads like this with your ~unpopular opinion~
trying to refute these claims and calling us "leftisTs!!1!"
the only reason people like YEW get bothered by " the SJWs" is because the things being addressed by us make you all feel feel thwarted or exposed in some way
you don't like the idea that your world is being shaken up because people are speaking out about things that offend them and keep different groups of people from getting along
you mad cause you part of the problem
you feel the need to fire back because you feel attacked
because you read this kind of **** and you know we're talking about YOU
and you come into threads like these waving your weak arguments around and feeling a sense of satisfaction every time you click that "Submit Reply" button because you actually think you're making some kind of a point
I'm talking about white men within the LGBT community. Racial preferences are normalized in the gay dating world and the majority (and by that i mean it skews more toward that side, not generalizing and literally saying ALL of them are, like I said there are allies) are white men. And yes I've been outside and I even met my bf in person (who happens to be white) and he's a great guy so i know that not EVERYONE has racial preferences, but it's still a problem that shouldn't be dismissed
Im sorry i dont mean to invalidate your experience but your scope sounds extremely limited. What are you basing this on? Dating apps? Dating apps gay or straight are all the same. That aside, most white people are NOT racist. Ignorant about certain parts of the minority experience? Sure, its expected. But not racist. A few creeps on grindr are a minority
I think you guys really need to consider the fact that I was defending the blacks and that I my intentions where positive so get over it, my slang is fine in my neck of the woods, even for the blacks.
So would it be slang for you to refer to an Asian person as "curry"? It shouldn't be because it's offensive just like how it's offensive to refer to a black man as "chocolate boy". Not sure what's so hard to grasp here.
And then you go on to use "blacks" as if we are some outcasts.
I mean, as long as you realize you're quite literally saying "I'll call you whatever I want, black, because I was defending you." As long as you're aware and accepting of being on that level of racism... if you like it, I love it.
I used the term "chocolate boy" because in my circle of friends it's an OKAY statement to make, that's how it's always been. I was also bought up to treat everyone equally, and by treating people equal I do not act "careful" with what I say around those who are different to me, i treat them as if they are the same as me (WHICH THEY ARE BTW) . I refuse to have a sense of humour with my white friends and have a separate sense of humour with my black peers, everyone is equal to me and everyone can cop the brunt of my blunt humour. I apologise if my comment offended you however it had no harmful intentions and was not used in a degrading manner.
Let me just say this, and get my black ass out this thread, because reading through this thread almost gave me a headache
I'm so sick of you writing stuff like this as "fake sjw!! propaganda". It's absolutely idiotic how so many of you are so quick to run and find absolutely every reason to disprove this rather than accept that this is a reality within the community, and that we don't believe that ALL white gays are racist. A large group of you ARE, and it happens so often and so viciously that you can't help but focus on it. There are PoC who are scared to even talk to a white person because they're afraid of the reaction that they're going to get. Are you THAT blind that you can't see it when it's constantly shoved in your face? So many gay white men are more concerned with the fact that they're generalized, than they are with the racism that the people that they call their "friends" are faced with. You want us to shut up, get over it and move on, but you can't stand up for this or at the very least sympathize with us and what we have to put up with in our dating pool.
When I used Grindr, I did this similar experiment. I use my straight friend's photo and the results were astounding. So many men sent dick pics and thirsted over me and talked about how much they wanted to **** me. Once I got on my own personal account, those same exact men didn't message back, tried to act as if they were above hooking up (despite those same exact ones sending me photos of their assholes and wanted to be ****ed by me, when they thought I was white) and didn't want to hold a conversation with me. One guy even messaged me randomly (never spoke to him) and asked me to block him because he wasn't attracted to black men and didn't want to waste a block on me. I've seen numerous profiles saying that they're "not into dark meat", "blacks" or "ghetto blacks" . I've had white gays tell me that they'll never date me because they don't like that black men have dark balls or too dark of a dick for them.
So many of these experiences made me debate whether I wanted to pursue white men due the fear of being rejected, fetishized and disrespected. So many of you don't know what PoC have to go through and the fact that so many of you would rather ignore that, use made up examples of how PoC do this too, and cry about being generalized is literal garabage. You're no better than these people, because by not standing up against it, you're saying that you're fine with it and by default I'm not fine with you. Don't @ me
Yeah, I think I got you guys. Reading through this thread I was disgusted by some of the stories.
And thanks for taking the time to clarify!
I appreciate posts like these because instead of getting defensive and angry, you stayed open-minded and willing to listen/learn. More of this kind of behavior is needed.
Quote:
Originally posted by Latch
is this what you think?
you think the overwhelming majority of us sit in our homes going on about chinks and spics?
you ain't even Black
stop making **** up
you always come in threads like this with your ~unpopular opinion~
trying to refute these claims and calling us "leftisTs!!1!"
the only reason people like YEW get bothered by " the SJWs" is because the things being addressed by us make you all feel feel thwarted or exposed in some way
you don't like the idea that your world is being shaken up because people are speaking out about things that offend them and keep different groups of people from getting along
you mad cause you part of the problem
you feel the need to fire back because you feel attacked
because you read this kind of **** and you know we're talking about YOU
and you come into threads like these waving your weak arguments around and feeling a sense of satisfaction every time you click that "Submit Reply" button because you actually think you're making some kind of a point
I'm white and gay and i can confirm at least in my country and Cyprus, Germany, Poland, and Italy amongst others cause i visited them for weeks that white people and especially white gay ppl on dating sites are racist af. I've checked Grindr, Gayromeo, Badoo and thousands profiles and talked to them.
I've wrote that i was in an open relationship and that i was interested in threesomes and they were all asking for a picture of my bf, they were blocking the hell out of me when i've shown them his photo (with HIS approval ofc cause he was standing next to me) cause he is a person of color, he's a refugee from Iraq.
I used the term "chocolate boy" because in my circle of friends it's an OKAY statement to make, that's how it's always been. I was also bought up to treat everyone equally, and by treating people equal I do not act "careful" with what I say around those who are different to me, i treat them as if they are the same as me (WHICH THEY ARE BTW) . I refuse to have a sense of humour with my white friends and have a separate sense of humour with my black peers, everyone is equal to me and everyone can cop the brunt of my blunt humour. I apologise if my comment offended you however it had no harmful intentions and was not used in a degrading manner.
If you don't get that, then whatever.
You actually have black people from all over the world telling you that referring to black people as "chocolate" is degrading BY ITSELF, yet your defense is "well my friends say it's okay". I understand what you're saying completely. You're just wrong, and you're ignorant, too. Non-black people use the exact same reasoning - and I mean VERBATIM - for using the n-word. just because something flies in your group of friends does NOT make it okay. That's basic, elementary school logic. But do you.
Let me just say this, and get my black ass out this thread, because reading through this thread almost gave me a headache
I'm so sick of you writing stuff like this as "fake sjw!! propaganda". It's absolutely idiotic how so many of you are so quick to run and find absolutely every reason to disprove this rather than accept that this is a reality within the community, and that we don't believe that ALL white gays are racist. A large group of you ARE, and it happens so often and so viciously that you can't help but focus on it. There are PoC who are scared to even talk to a white person because they're afraid of the reaction that they're going to get. Are you THAT blind that you can't see it when it's constantly shoved in your face? So many gay white men are more concerned with the fact that they're generalized, than they are with the racism that the people that they call their "friends" are faced with. You want us to shut up, get over it and move on, but you can't stand up for this or at the very least sympathize with us and what we have to put up with in our dating pool.
When I used Grindr, I did this similar experiment. I use my straight friend's photo and the results were astounding. So many men sent dick pics and thirsted over me and talked about how much they wanted to **** me. Once I got on my own personal account, those same exact men didn't message back, tried to act as if they were above hooking up (despite those same exact ones sending me photos of their assholes and wanted to be ****ed by me, when they thought I was white) and didn't want to hold a conversation with me. One guy even messaged me randomly (never spoke to him) and asked me to block him because he wasn't attracted to black men and didn't want to waste a block on me. I've seen numerous profiles saying that they're "not into dark meat", "blacks" or "ghetto blacks" . I've had white gays tell me that they'll never date me because they don't like that black men have dark balls or too dark of a dick for them.
So many of these experiences made me debate whether I wanted to pursue white men due the fear of being rejected, fetishized and disrespected. So many of you don't know what PoC have to go through and the fact that so many of you would rather ignore that, use made up examples of how PoC do this too, and cry about being generalized is literal garabage. You're no better than these people, because by not standing up against it, you're saying that you're fine with it and by default I'm not fine with you. Don't @ me
GO OFF SIS!
Your experiences make me sad and I can sympathize. No matter how many times they are called out they won't address the problem
Y'all should do this experiment for yourself just to see what happens in your area, because the results are quite different in New York (for example) compared to Texas. Even though it's obvious, gay men in the South seem to be significantly more racist than in the North, which just shows how where they live impacts how they think/feel about different races.
Not really. It's the same issue in New York or even in San Francisco. People hate to admit it but there is intolerance.
Really it shouldn't be an issue. I made a thread similar to this but about other races and ethnicities. Try this same experiment amongst non-whites and the issue will be similar.
And yes I will be quick to check any white gay man who works in insurance who's basically status quo at this point and who feels he can spew racist and misogynistic garbage because he himself is "a minority". And there are many of them. I don't think anybody should be made to feel like a second class person. I too have had black and Asian gay men excuse themselves for talking to me like it's somehow inconveniencing me and it breaks my heart. It's tricky to be warm and friendly back without coming across like you're trying to be some kind of white saviour. It's just all so ****ed up.
Its ok to have preference.. just dont be too vocal about it.. like simply write :white guys only: in ur bio if u only into white dudes instead of referring to different races with different terms..
Its ok to have preference.. just dont be too vocal about it.. like simply write :white guys only: in ur bio if u only into white dudes instead of referring to different races with different terms..
Not really. It's the same issue in New York or even in San Francisco. People hate to admit it but there is intolerance.
Really it shouldn't be an issue. I made a thread similar to this but about other races and ethnicities. Try this same experiment amongst non-whites and the issue will be similar.
I did. None of them used derogatory remarks against me, on the contrary, they've offered me a date, 2 of them welcomed me in their home when i was homeless and ONE is currently my bf. Your attempt at degrading the experience of thousands hell MILLIONS of ppl of color all around the world is futile. You say it shouldn't be an issue BUT . IT . IS