Being so hated that no safe place in the world is safe for me since there will be some bigots who would go out of their way to travel anywhere in the world to kill me
The worst part for me personally is anytime I act "gay" in any way I hear about it even from friends or whatever.
Like we are going out for the night and I get "wow you look so gay". Honey I am gay... I broke off a friendship with someone because of this. They said it so much about the way I talked, walked, dressed, the things I like I had enough of it.
I'm not gay but finding a man who is masc. Sometimes it can be hard to tell who is
If this is your goal I am going to tell you that you will be unhappy forever sis. Even the most masc guys I've dated/known show feminine sides every once in awhile in some form or another. Some just hide it better.