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Discussion: Straight crush experience?
Banned
Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 2,663
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Quote:
Originally posted by ThugginGrande
I couldn't tell if he was just a really sweet guy or if was coming on to me! I mean, he had a girlfriend back home, and he talked about his past girlfriends with me. Plus, I thought him liking me would be too good to be true.
Maybe he was doing everything in his power to hint to me that he secretly liked me though and I was just a dumbass.
![](https://s32.postimg.io/d3ct2xbn9/ezgif_com_crop.gif)
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Emphasis on that, sis
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 5,549
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Quote:
Originally posted by chilicheese01
I'm going through this right now. I'm not even that close to him but... he knows that I'm gay and is so friendly to me that I can't help it. ![weeps](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v232/korn0818/ATRLSmilies/52b0f867.gif)
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That makes it better that he's friendly with you despite knowing you're gay. Not a lot of straight guys are like that. Maybe he wants a piece of your chili cheese. ![Gay Cat](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v232/korn0818/ATRL_Smilies_All/random/cat_zpsebvh5uip.png)
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 5,549
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Quote:
Originally posted by Darren
Emphasis on that, sis
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Sksksksk no she was definitely real. I heard them talking on the phone, he told me their history, and he seemed to really like/miss her, much to my disappointment. ![:'(](images/smilies/images/smilies/cry.gif) I haven't ruled out the possibility of him being bisexual/bicurious though. ![eli's_rhythm](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v232/korn0818/ATRL_Smilies_All/atrlers/eli_zps0932edf9.gif)
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 6,308
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Quote:
Originally posted by AxelFox
I talked about it on here before but I might as well share my story again, since all the stories in this thread made me super emotional. It's gonna be a long one.
So I had just finished 8th grade. My cousin ( a girl ) asked me to join the school's folk dance group. I'm not into folk dancing but I did it for her 'cause we were good friends and thought we could have some fun during the summer. And there I met this boy, who was 2 years younger than me. I was 15 at the time and he was 13, but he looked way older, he was pretty tall, well built, and had a very hairy body and even facial body, but he shaved. I didn't think of him much, he wasn't supper attractive back then but he was very nice and funny.
As the weeks passed, I realised how cool he was, but we hadn't become close or anything until mid summer when the group went on a summer camp at the seaside. We started talking more, my cousing was spending time with her girlfriends so I began to spend time with him and another guy my age from the group. We became friends and on that camp I realised I actually liked him.
So we came back home. My cousin was enrolled to a military highschool so she couldn't be part of the dance group anymore. The plan was I would quit it too, but because of him, I stayed.
Another offer came to our group and only 2 weeks before I was starting highschool we went to a dance festival in Turkey. Me and (let's call him John, cause that's the English version of his name) became really good friends. We stayed together in the bus, he would put his head on my shoulder and even on my lap to sleep because we travelled during night. I was catching real feeling for him, although I probably didn't know what love was at the time, I was still very young. We stayed in the same room but with other 2 boys as well and had different beds. We spent most of our trip together.
We came home and we started seeing eachother and hanging out even more, as he lives 5 minutes away by foot from me. I started highschool, I was a freshman and he was in 7th grade. Until November we were already bestfriends. Another offer came to our group and we went to a festival in Prague that November. We stayed in the bus together again, slept on eachother again and one girl said to us "you look like a couple". He didn't say anything. This time we were only 3 boys in a room, separate beds again, but after the first night he decided to unite his bed with mine so we could sleep together. We told horror stories that night and for some reason the other boy came into our bed as well. That nigh he put his arm on me. He was embracing me from behind. I didn't say a thing, just slept in awe. We were inseparable in that trip.
We came back home and we started to sleep together. I was 16 and he was 14 by the time. I met his familly, he met mine, we spent so much time together. We slowly started to spend the night together until we slept like 3 night a week or so together. We slept in only underwear and we would cuddle. We would eat together and watch movies together.
May came and we went to another festival in Rimini this time, in Italy. Same story again, stayed together in the bus, in the room, we actually had a king sized bed and a normal bed this time. f course we slept together in the double bed. Oh and I forgot to mention that we would spend much time alone, like, only the two of us, not with the other members of the group, although we were all good friend. Anyway, that trip to Rimini was very special, because that's when I made the courage to press my lips against his. It was night, we were sleeping, we were cuddled in bed, I woke up in the middle of the night and thought "I love you so much" and I kissed him. He was probably asleep and didn't feel it, or that's what I assumed.
At this point it was like a relationship in my head. We were super close, slept together multiple nights a week, we even started arguing, we were jealous when one would spend some time with other people, we fought, we argued, but we got back and such. That summer he had a crush on a girl who came in our town for the summer, but she left, I was super jealous, my fears were becoming true, he was straight. But the girl left, he didn't actually spent much time with her and we countinued our "thing".
So after that I realised that I actually loved this boy so much, I was in love, but it was eating me alive because although I knew he cared a lot for me, I somehow knew it was not the way I wanted him to. But I couldn't separate for him either, we were just too close and I was enjoying him so much to actually do something about it. It continued, we argued, we got back, we slept together, we cuddled, I would kiss him every night (although he was asleep and he didn't feel it, or he did';t say anything about it idk)and so on..
I was 17 and he was 15 now. That Christmas he wrote a letter to me in which he told me how much he cared about me and how he never wanted to separate from he. We spent the holidays together. I actually regret throwing it away now, it was a sweet memory of my high school years. But let's continue.
Summer came and we went the camp at the sea side again, in early September we went to Bulgaria. There were 2 separate beds and one extensible couch in our room, ofc we slept together on the extensible couch. It was like a dream to be. He was everything to me. My mother got suspicious I think, she used to mock me with "are you seeing your wife again?" but she was probably joking. She still does it to this day lol. I was very depressed when we argued and din't talk for days, everyone knew when we were apart lol.
So time passed, we grew up together, but we also started to fight more and more. We slowly distanced one from each other, things got cold between us, and I don't even remember how. Maybe because we made new friends or I don't know.. The thing is, I was feeling more and more depressed because I was afraid to confess my love to him. Although he gave me a lot of signs, I still feared he was actually straight.
I finished junior year and decided to do it. And I did. I confessed to him. He said it was not okay. I didn't tell him I was gay, just that I was in love with him. So we went different ways. I spent the summer without him, I was very depressed but I was willing to move on. He actually got a girlfriend that summer.
After three months without him everything seemed to go in the right direction. The separation was a hell for me but I was starting to feel better. I started my senior year of highschool. He was in his sophomore year. I would see him and his girlfriend at school but didn't pay much attention.
And last October he called me. Yes, he did. He wanted to spend some time together, I don;t know why but I agreed. We started seeing eachother again. He even invited me to hang out at his place again. I did. We were getting close again. Sometimes his girlfriend would be there as well. I realised I was still in love with him, deeply in love. I wanted to cut string off again. Things seemed to not be working well between him and his girlfriend but it was none of my business. One day after highschool he invited me at his place, and I refused, It was the first tine in a long while I refused him. ( well I actually made an excuse that I had to go somewhere but still )... After a few seconds of silence he said "I don't like this" and I asked "What?" and he said "That you have to go" ... I was melting inside but I said we will hang around another day. That evening, after a few hours he called me and said "Hey are you back home? Do you want to meet up".. I was on my way and although I wanted to refuse it I said "I'm coming to you".. That night he was acting super weird.. He asked me"Do you ever feel like you missed someone so much and you will always love them no matter what?". I was poker faced. I said "Is this about that girl you met that summer?" He looked me in the eyes, the moved his look away, a few seconds of silence and though "yes" came out of his mouth.. like he wanted to say something else but he decided not to.
I realised that I couldn't do this anymore. Like, what was even happening? He knew I was in love with him but he did all this for what? I decided to cut him off from my life again, he texted me, called me, but I stopped answering. He was straight.
I finished high school in June and I'm going to college next month. I'm slowly but surely moving on, although I still dream of him at night from time to time and he's still the one I think about when I listen to specific love songs. But I'm ready to start a new chapter in my life. I wish I could have taken some memories, but I deleted all the pics we had together ( he still has some on his Facebook profile, although he deleted most of them too), I threw away all the gifts from him... Maybe it was for the better. He was my first love. And although I know I will probably fall in love again someday, I will never love the same way again. I wasted 4 years of my life on him. But if I had the change to live again, I would still do it. He meant everything to me. If he came tomorrow at my door saying "I love you too, let's run away together" I wouldn't think twice.
I'm sorry for this embarassing long ass post but I wanted to write it down lol.
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![cries](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v232/korn0818/ATRLSmilies/45ab1e3e.gif) I had a similar experience. The fact he's still on my mind even after 8 years.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 5,549
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Quote:
Originally posted by Harly
![cries](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v232/korn0818/ATRLSmilies/45ab1e3e.gif) I had a similar experience. The fact he's still on my mind even after 8 years.
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Spill! It'll feel good to get it all off your chest.
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Member Since: 2/27/2012
Posts: 12,567
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I haven't had a legit straight crush in two years. Maybe I'm just quite guarded now (or smart about it), but I don't even bother getting to know an attractive guy once I know he's straight. No good can really come from it for me and I've learned from past experiences. I used to get them bad. My last one was back in NYC where the guys were quite metro, so I thought there was a solid chance he was at least bi. He was this hot, tall nerdy/artsy guy with deep brown eyes from Vegas. It got so bad I was starting to have dreams about him. And then my sources confirmed he was straight with a girlfriend. ![rolleyes](http://www.atrl.net/forums/images/smilies/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif)
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Member Since: 9/9/2012
Posts: 265
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I don't crush on str8s because their str8ness is enough to turn me off !
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 5,549
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Quote:
Originally posted by liammmmacbtw
I don't crush on str8s because their str8ness is enough to turn me off !
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Lucky you. I see their straightness and I'm like ![smitten](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v232/korn0818/ebf69f50.gif) and then somehow I get disappointed when they get girlfriends and don't want to spend the rest of their life with me. ![JonnyϟLightning](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v232/korn0818/ATRL_Smilies_All/atrlers/jonny_zpsc73391c5.png) I'm a mess lol.
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Member Since: 2/29/2012
Posts: 17,071
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What the ****. ![toofunny2](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v232/korn0818/ATRL_Smilies_All/faces/toofunny2_zpsb54f2d2d.gif)
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Member Since: 5/11/2010
Posts: 19,489
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I just saw my old, straight crush yesterday ![sad](images/smilies/images/smilies/sad.gif)
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Member Since: 2/27/2012
Posts: 12,567
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Quote:
Originally posted by ThugginGrande
Lucky you. I see their straightness and I'm like ![smitten](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v232/korn0818/ebf69f50.gif) and then somehow I get disappointed when they get girlfriends and don't want to spend the rest of their life with me. ![JonnyϟLightning](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v232/korn0818/ATRL_Smilies_All/atrlers/jonny_zpsc73391c5.png) I'm a mess lol.
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I feel like once you get more secure with yourself and your sexuality, you'll become more attracted to other gays. You get to a point where you finally accept that straights are never going to give you what you want and will find them less attractive for it. Somebody who shows no detectable interest in me is such a turn-off anyway, so...
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 5,549
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kitt
What the ****. ![toofunny2](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v232/korn0818/ATRL_Smilies_All/faces/toofunny2_zpsb54f2d2d.gif)
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Can't relate lol?
Quote:
Originally posted by Stevie
I feel like once you get more secure with yourself and your sexuality, you'll become more attracted to other gays. You get to a point where you finally accept that straights are never going to give you what you want and will find them less attractive for it. Somebody who shows no detectable interest in me is such a turn-off anyway, so...
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The thing is a lot of my straight crushes do show a detectable interest in me and I get to thinking, "Maybe he would go gay for me. Even if he's 99.9% straight, maybe he likes me. Maybe he's bicurious or bisexual." It's not just the idea of the forbidden fruit. The straight guys I crush on are just a lot more attractive / nurturing than any gay guys I've encountered, and it sucks knowing that I probably can't have them but that doesn't stop my wishful thinking. ![Doc](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v232/korn0818/ATRL_Smilies_All/atrlers/doc_zpsc886535c.gif)
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Member Since: 2/27/2012
Posts: 12,567
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Quote:
Originally posted by ThugginGrande
Can't relate lol?
The thing is a lot of my straight crushes do show a detectable interest in me and I get to thinking, "Maybe he would go gay for me. Even if he's 99.9% straight, maybe he likes me. Maybe he's bicurious or bisexual." It's not just the idea of the forbidden fruit. The straight guys I crush on are just a lot more attractive / nurturing than any gay guys I've encountered, and it sucks knowing that I probably can't have them but that doesn't stop my wishful thinking. ![Doc](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v232/korn0818/ATRL_Smilies_All/atrlers/doc_zpsc886535c.gif)
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Honey, you need to start loving your own kind. Do you have gay friends? Also, you're clearly misinterpreting their friendliness. Once you find out they're straight, which should be real quick because it's not something that people have to hide, move on. It's not fair to yourself.
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Member Since: 3/1/2014
Posts: 5,368
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K imma make this short:
Senior year, never met the guy nor had class. He was more of friend's classmate. He was foine in an underrated way but it was also common to know he was attractive (even straight guys lol). He was quiet and modest. I saw him around school and clubs I was in. Then I stalked him on social media and got into him that way and I hope that's pretty common. His #personal posts made me think I ~knew him.
I had two interactions with him which will 4ever be in my memory. The crushing was #real in senior year, didn't go a day without thinking of him. I had the nerve build up in me to say something to him. I was able to randomly compliment the way he dressed - he does dress well and again I was a NObody to him. I was #SWEATIN ![JonnyϟLightning](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v232/korn0818/ATRL_Smilies_All/atrlers/jonny_zpsc73391c5.png) other interaction I won't mention cause it's not worth mentioning and really nothing (but something if you're in a sensitive sit like this ![too funny](images/smilies/images/smilies/priceless.gif) . Basically I was #SoIntoHim for the longest time without actually 'knowing' him
FF 3 years later I OCCASIONALLY check his social media. One post he said he often leaned toward being straight but was going towards platonic and asexual. He thinks some male celebs are attractive but I think that's just being ~progressive and whatnot. If he flat out says he's attracted to guys I SWEAR
That is literally the only time I've felt anything for anyone. Keeping in mind he was straight made me feel I could still like him in a distance. #MESS
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 897
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Quote:
Originally posted by ThugginGrande
Wait, so Matthew admitted that he was pansexual? Or was he just implying that he was more into personality than looks? I feel like you should go for him. Maybe just have an honest conversation with him or send a friend to find out if he's into you. If you really do have a great connection with him and you think you might have a chance, I think it's worth pursuing. He could meet someone else and you might not get the opportunity to tell him how you feel. Then you'll be beating yourself up about what could've been.
Ugh this is heartbreaking. It sounds like you and Sonny had an amazing friendship. I'm sorry it ended that way, but hopefully your paths can cross again one day.
Wow, Andrew kind of sounds like a dbag (or at least he used to be). Glad the experience changed you for the better though, even if it was frustrating to go through.
Omg you better get that D sis! ![clap3](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v232/korn0818/67d90ee8.gif) At least someone here had a happy ending and isn't left scarred or depressed lol!
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nn he was girl, but I guess I'm partly to blame to, I wouldve been annoying/extra at the time. But he really did **** with me, like him and Emily would purposely make up stories to me and go along with them (i.e they once pretended they were mad at me for something I did and pretended to hate me for like a week, then they would both come out like 'we were just joking.... calm down...') he also would just be super bitchy and shady all the time, ignore me at school at times ... in retrospect i dont even really know why i liked him - but he was super funny and slightly cute in a weird way.
Our friendship today is weird now though, we occassionally talk but its never been the same since, too much **** happened that I feel like is too hard to just ignore so there's like a permanent awkwardness I guess. It's better being a little awkward then hating each other though, life is way too short
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Member Since: 6/26/2010
Posts: 28,299
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I used to have this when I was like 12 but then it never happened again, I guess my brain learnt how to filter. Are you guys adults?
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 2,920
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Quote:
Originally posted by Chiidish
During high school, I thought this really cute guy i had just met was seriously flirting with me, and I accidentally came out to him even tho I was closeted. We kept talking and eventually we started skyping. He would always ask me to take my shirt off or show something, which really confused the **** out of me all the time. Eventually I graduated I went to University where we lost contact.
A year later we start talking again and he tells me that he's Bi which makes me very happy and I lunge at the opportunity to get him in bed with me. The next time I visit home we had a date, at which point after he ends up in my bed where I suck him off. Things got awkward after that, as I don't think he was completely comfortable with guys yet (the religious type).
After returning to University early this year I started dating someone, and very quickly he starts to confuse me more by asking questions about what could've been. In the end I cut him off because I wanted to try my hand at being in a stable relationship. I think about him sometimes but I am pretty happy where I am.
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Eurgh the religious type. People have suspicions that my religious straight crush is in fact closeted, and being closeted because of your religion is probably awful... much harder to come to terms with it... I'd just feel sorry for him if he was lol
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 2,757
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Once. I don't have crushes at all, and when I did it had to be a straight guy. We had loads of classes together and it drove me insane. But even as a teen I knew it would never happen, so I said I hated him and made sure we never even became friends. Part of the reason was so people won't think I stared at him out of attraction. Also, no way i hell was I gonna pine for someone. A part of me regretted it as he tried, at times, to talk and maybe be friends. But I was having none of it.
Sometimes I thought maybe he liked too as he stared at me sometimes too. But I quickly put that to wishful thinking. Took a few tears after leaving school to get over him though.... And I still think of him from time to time as he was my first, and only, crush.
It's a pretty uneventful story, and I never had a crush on a straight guy (or any guy) since. And I will make sure not to ever again.
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Member Since: 2/2/2014
Posts: 1,787
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Can I share a story even if it's not really a crush ?
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 1,373
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Quote:
Originally posted by OmegaRidley
Can I share a story even if it's not really a crush ?
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Of course, spill that tea ![Gay Cat](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v232/korn0818/ATRL_Smilies_All/random/cat_zpsebvh5uip.png)
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