This thread actually used to belong to Tymps., but I took it over when he had a self-requested year-long ban.
But no, it shouldn't die.
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I could post the lyrics to my song "I Fell In Love With The DJ", but it's lyrically uninteresting and is carried by the instrumental I made tbh.
Hmm, you could post up the lyrics and instrumentals so we could hear both. I'm already interested by the title alone cuz it reminds me of Usher's DJ got us falling in love
Hmm, you could post up the lyrics and instrumentals so we could hear both. I'm already interested by the title alone cuz it reminds me of Usher's DJ got us falling in love
[Verse1]
There's been someone I can't forget
Like a song he's stuck in my head
It's so hard for me to explain it
He does something to me
He does something to me
When I see him, I don't act right
I'll be dreaming 'bout him all night
He drives me wild and I can't take it
That's what he does to me
That's what he does to me
[Hook]
So I'll go to the club tonight
Hope and pray I might
See him one more time
And make him mine
[Chorus]
I fell in love with the DJ
What can I say, hey; I can't help it
I fell in love with the DJ
I'm callin out may day, I can't tell if
I fell in love with the DJ
And he feels the same way, or I'm hopeless
I fell in love with the DJ
What can I say, hey; he's my focus
[Verse 2]
He's got me infatuated
Inside my head he's invaded
I don't think my heart can take it
He does something to me
He does something to me
More and more I start to need him
He's my air it's like I breathe him
Piece by piece I start to break and
That's what he does to me
That's what he does to me
[Hook]
So I'll go to the club tonight
Hope and pray I might
See him one more time
And make him mine
[Chorus]
I fell in love with the DJ
What can I say, hey; I can't help it
I fell in love with the DJ
I'm callin out may day, I can't tell if
I fell in love with the DJ
And he feels the same way, or I'm hopeless
I fell in love with the DJ
What can I say, hey; he's my focus
[Bridge]
I don't know what happened to me
Does psychosis come this naturally?
I mean, at first I was fine
And now I feel like screaming, and why?
Is love or obsession, I can't tell it apart
I guess it's the same if it comes from the heart
He's all in my head like a major concussion
And he's taken my heart, I'ma call it abduction
Rhythm is a dancer and the DJ's Cupid
Shot through the heart and I'm feeling stupid
How could I let this happen to me
He's playing me out like a melody
I don't know why I'm trying he's
Out of my reach and out of my league
Yet something tells me it's destiny
I think the DJ's meant for me
[Hook]
So I'll go to the club tonight
Hope and pray I might
See him one more time
And make him mine
[Chorus]
I fell in love with the DJ
What can I say, hey; I can't help it
I fell in love with the DJ
I'm callin out may day, I can't tell if
I fell in love with the DJ
And he feels the same way, or I'm hopeless
I fell in love with the DJ
What can I say, hey; he's my focus
I fell in love with the DJ
What can I say, hey; I can't help it
I fell in love with the DJ
I'm callin out may day, I can't tell if
I fell in love with the DJ
And he feels the same way, or I'm hopeless
I fell in love with the DJ
What can I say, hey; he's my focus
I would've recorded vocals if I had any form of talent for it, but alas I don't.
EDIT: I read your song Ugly Monster Jezang For some reason, I felt like it'd fit well in like...a soundtrack to a 2015 remake to The Hunchback of Notre Dame or something. It seemed like sometimes you had words there just to fit a rhyme scheme, but eh. Maybe I'm not picturing it right or something.
[Verse1]
There's been someone I can't forget
Like a song he's stuck in my head
It's so hard for me to explain it
He does something to me
He does something to me
When I see him, I don't act right
I'll be dreaming 'bout him all night
He drives me wild and I can't take it
That's what he does to me
That's what he does to me
[Hook]
So I'll go to the club tonight
Hope and pray I might
See him one more time
And make him mine
[Chorus]
I fell in love with the DJ
What can I say, hey; I can't help it
I fell in love with the DJ
I'm callin out may day, I can't tell if
I fell in love with the DJ
And he feels the same way, or I'm hopeless
I fell in love with the DJ
What can I say, hey; he's my focus
[Verse 2]
He's got me infatuated
Inside my head he's invaded
I don't think my heart can take it
He does something to me
He does something to me
More and more I start to need him
He's my air it's like I breathe him
Piece by piece I start to break and
That's what he does to me
That's what he does to me
[Hook]
So I'll go to the club tonight
Hope and pray I might
See him one more time
And make him mine
[Chorus]
I fell in love with the DJ
What can I say, hey; I can't help it
I fell in love with the DJ
I'm callin out may day, I can't tell if
I fell in love with the DJ
And he feels the same way, or I'm hopeless
I fell in love with the DJ
What can I say, hey; he's my focus
[Bridge]
I don't know what happened to me
Does psychosis come this naturally?
I mean, at first I was fine
And now I feel like screaming, and why?
Is love or obsession, I can't tell it apart
I guess it's the same if it comes from the heart
He's all in my head like a major concussion
And he's taken my heart, I'ma call it abduction
Rhythm is a dancer and the DJ's Cupid
Shot through the heart and I'm feeling stupid
How could I let this happen to me
He's playing me out like a melody
I don't know why I'm trying he's
Out of my reach and out of my league
Yet something tells me it's destiny
I think the DJ's meant for me
[Hook]
So I'll go to the club tonight
Hope and pray I might
See him one more time
And make him mine
[Chorus]
I fell in love with the DJ
What can I say, hey; I can't help it
I fell in love with the DJ
I'm callin out may day, I can't tell if
I fell in love with the DJ
And he feels the same way, or I'm hopeless
I fell in love with the DJ
What can I say, hey; he's my focus
I fell in love with the DJ
What can I say, hey; I can't help it
I fell in love with the DJ
I'm callin out may day, I can't tell if
I fell in love with the DJ
And he feels the same way, or I'm hopeless
I fell in love with the DJ
What can I say, hey; he's my focus
I would've recorded vocals if I had any form of talent for it, but alas I don't.
EDIT: I read your song Ugly Monster Jezang For some reason, I felt like it'd fit well in like...a soundtrack to a 2015 remake to The Hunchback of Notre Dame or something. It seemed like sometimes you had words there just to fit a rhyme scheme, but eh. Maybe I'm not picturing it right or something.
Honestly I'd kill for my song to me in the Notre Dame soundtrack Originally the chorus was supposed to be a midtempo electronic track for Gaga (so imagine her singing the chorus), but the verses were hard to make without an actual instrumental so it's pretty much filler.
But no you did nooot just use the Rhythm is a dancer line lol, it's one of my fav but two songs on the radio recently have it so I always laugh when I hear it. One by Bastille and the other by...some urban artist that escapes me atm.
But aw this song is much lighter (production wise) than I thought it was gonna be. Did you write the song first before making the instrumental or did you write to the instrumental?
Honestly I'd kill for my song to me in the Notre Dame soundtrack Originally the chorus was supposed to be a midtempo electronic track for Gaga (so imagine her singing the chorus), but the verses were hard to make without an actual instrumental so it's pretty much filler.
But no you did nooot just use the Rhythm is a dancer line lol, it's one of my fav but two songs on the radio recently have it so I always laugh when I hear it. One by Bastille and the other by...some urban artist that escapes me atm.
But aw this song is much lighter (production wise) than I thought it was gonna be. Did you write the song first before making the instrumental or did you write to the instrumental?
Hmm, upon further examination, yes I can definitely feel the Gaga in the chorus. Interesting.
I did the instrumental first. I've been trying to teach myself to write to instrumentals, and figured the best way would be to make them myself.
But yeah, I've been doing this sort of "era" and the songs in the era are supposed to be kind of a mix of fairy tales and dance songs, which is why it's "light" I guess.
And idk I kind of feel like changing the rhythm is a dancer line because I don't feel like it makes much sense. I just struggled really hard with the rap part of the bridge.
Since I haven't posted in here for weeks, lemme get one more post in for the morning people this song is written in Lana Del Rey style so imagine her singing it when you read the lyrics and it should bring it to life.
This one you gotta read it slowly or it won't read good. Just an fyi since her songs have a slower-tempo
Parallel Universe
2. Parallel Universe
LYRICS
[Verse 1]
I walked so far traveled alone
Been to every city on my sold out show
I've seen the crowd seen their smile
Shed a tear made my mama proud
Kept it cool never lost my ways
I couldn't tell you all the things we did
But there were those days I felt a little strange
[Pre-chorus]
Do you remember what it is
That made me feel like I was the one
The only girl you could ever love
You said I was real you said I was fun
And here we are back at square one
[Chorus]
In a parallel universe
I see the stars shining down on us
The heavens clap and the skies they roar
Thunder cracks and the rivers flow
Why can’t our life be so damn divine
Like the stories they tell to old fable wives
Only in a parallel universe is when you’ll finally be mine
[Verse 2]
I talk too much or I don’t say enough
There isn't much left to do anymore
We sit and watch all the people go
On with their lives like it’s our private show
Take me back to the glamour times
When everything was new and so refined
[Pre-chorus]
Do you remember what it is
That made me feel like I was the one
The only girl you could ever love
You said I was real you said I was fun
And here we are back at square one
[Chorus]
In a parallel universe
I see the stars shining down on us
The heavens clap and the skies they roar
Thunder cracks and the rivers flow
Why can’t our life be so damn divine
Like the stories they tell to old fable wives
Only in a parallel universe is when you'll finally be mine
Hmm, upon further examination, yes I can definitely feel the Gaga in the chorus. Interesting.
I did the instrumental first. I've been trying to teach myself to write to instrumentals, and figured the best way would be to make them myself.
But yeah, I've been doing this sort of "era" and the songs in the era are supposed to be kind of a mix of fairy tales and dance songs, which is why it's "light" I guess.
And idk I kind of feel like changing the rhythm is a dancer line because I don't feel like it makes much sense. I just struggled really hard with the rap part of the bridge.
Really? I feel like the bridge is the best part of the song It was very descriptive but also gave the song the extra oomph so it wasn't just another DJ falling in love sort of track. To me it gave the song extra life anyway
But interesting, I'm always jealous of people who write to instrumentals..since I can't make any I'm S.O.L
Since I haven't posted in here for weeks, lemme get one more post in for the morning people this song is written in Lana Del Rey style so imagine her singing it when you read the lyrics and it should bring it to life.
This one you gotta read it slowly or it won't read good. Just an fyi since her songs have a slower-tempo
Parallel Universe
2. Parallel Universe
LYRICS
[Verse 1]
I walked so far traveled alone
Been to every city on my sold out show
I've seen the crowd seen their smile
Shed a tear made my mama proud
Kept it cool never lost my ways
I couldn't tell you all the things we did
But there were those days I felt a little strange
[Pre-chorus]
Do you remember what it is
That made me feel like I was the one
The only girl you could ever love
You said I was real you said I was fun
And here we are back at number one
[Chorus]
In a parallel universe
I see the stars shining down on us
The heavens clap and the skies they roar
Thunder cracks and the rivers flow
Why can’t our life be so damn divine
Like the stories they tell to old fable wives
Only in a parallel universe is when you’ll finally put me first
[Verse 2]
I talk too much or I don’t say enough
There isn't much left to do anymore
We sit and watch all the people go
On with their lives like it’s our private show
Take me back to the glamour times
When everything was new and so refined
[Pre-chorus]
Do you remember what it is
That made me feel like I was the one
The only girl you could ever love
You said I was real you said I was fun
And here we are back at number one
[Chorus]
In a parallel universe
I see the stars shining down on us
The heavens clap and the skies they roar
Thunder cracks and the rivers flow
Why can’t our life be so damn divine
Like the stories they tell to old fable wives
Only in a parallel universe is when you'll finally put me first
I love the first verse, though! Especially the mama line.
I feel like "square one" would've worked better in the pre-chorus, but the number one part could have significance to the song. I also feel like there's a missed opportunity for a rhyme in the chorus, like you could easily end it in "you'll finally be mine", but eh I guess that doesn't exactly fit?
I don't want to really critique your writing, though. Figured maybe I could help.
Quote:
Originally posted by Jezang Looz
Really? I feel like the bridge is the best part of the song It was very descriptive but also gave the song the extra oomph so it wasn't just another DJ falling in love sort of track. To me it gave the song extra life anyway
But interesting, I'm always jealous of people who write to instrumentals..since I can't make any I'm S.O.L
I mean, I like the rap part a lot, esp. the second "bar" I guess you can call it. It's really fun to sing along to for me. I kind of wanted it to delve a bit into the state of mind the person who is in love with the DJ was in, so I guess you appreciated that. Thank you, by the way! I really appreciate it!
I love the first verse, though! Especially the mama line.
I feel like "square one" would've worked better in the pre-chorus, but the number one part could have significance to the song. I also feel like there's a missed opportunity for a rhyme in the chorus, like you could easily end it in "you'll finally be mine", but eh I guess that doesn't exactly fit?
I don't want to really critique your writing, though. Figured maybe I could help.
Holy **** no those are both really good suggestions. Yess lemme make edits thank you I was trying to rhyme in the chorus but couldn't think of anything to rhyme so I just left it alone (but you caught it anyways). And yeah square one is better, just couldn't think of anything again.
This is why I love posting my stuff in here so I get some help. (The mama part is my fav too )
Holy **** no those are both really good suggestions. Yess lemme make edits thank you I was trying to rhyme in the chorus but couldn't think of anything to rhyme so I just left it alone (but you caught it anyways). And yeah square one is better, just couldn't think of anything again.
This is why I love posting my stuff in here so I get some help. (The mama part is my fav too )
Ah, okay good! I was worried maybe you thought I was trying to nitpick or something. Glad I could be of some help!
Ah, okay good! I was worried maybe you thought I was trying to nitpick or something. Glad I could be of some help!
Not at all! I wish more people posted in this thread and reviewed each other's lyrics cuz I have more songs in queue (when inspiration hits me) but no one to help edit them y'know? But you seem good at critiquing so that's cool
For any member/guest interested, I went on a writing spree today and I hate not being able to share my work so fee free to leave comments or something!
Ok "Your Life Is Golden" is inspired by Bebe Rexha. It's a midtempo song about my difficulties with songwriting. However when you finally get the song right it makes you feel good inside and that's the feeling I was trying to capture.
It's also about being alone vs. being with someone you love, and how those two separate feelings sometimes collide into each other (when you are with that person things don't work out so then you guys take a break).
Hope you guys like it:
Your Life Is Golden
6. Your Life Is Golden
LYRICS
[Verse 1]
There’s enough time to make this work
Wait it all out and see if it hurts
Give it your best do what you can
Think about it until night ends
The future seems so distant now
Where’s my answer where’s my sound
Looking for something that’s pure
I found what I was looking for
[Pre-chorus]
That’s when I realized I’m not completely blind
I see the signs I know what’s real tonight
You and I driving through city lights
Stopping traffic do you know what it's like
[Chorus]
To be the only person you can talk to
To be the only one you confide to
Pick yourself up and start over again
Just to make sure your life is golden
Just to make sure your life is golden
Just to make sure your life is golden
[Verse 2]
Take a step back and make a change
Try to fix all your past mistakes
The things you wanted are all erased
There’s no trace of your emptiness
[Pre-chorus]
That’s when I realized I’m not completely blind
I see the signs I know what’s real tonight
You and I driving through city lights
Stopping traffic do you know what it's like
[Chorus]
To be the only person you can talk to
To be the only one you confide to
Pick yourself up and start over again
Just to make sure your life is golden
Just to make sure your life is golden
Just to make sure your life is golden
[Bridge]
There’s some days where I can’t move
My body’s numb my brain feels like a fuse
Running out of energy feeling lost and feeling weak
This is what you do to me
This is what you do to me
[Pre-chorus]
That’s when I realized I’m not completely blind
I see the signs I know what’s real tonight
You and I driving through city lights
Stopping traffic do you know what it's like
[Chorus]
To be the only person you can talk to
To be the only one you confide to
Pick yourself up and start over again
Just to make sure your life is golden
Just to make sure your life is golden
Just to make sure your life is golden
So my nana passed away on Thursday morning, and I wrote a song. Write now is just the early stage, although I am quite pleased with how it turned out and may eventually leave it like this. It's just about moving on from death and holding on to what remains.
Legacy
Verse 1
Goodbye has never came so soon
You spend your whole life hoping it won’t happen to you
Than like lightning, it strikes you down so fast
What once was forever, gets locked in the past
Chorus
You held on with all your might
But it wasn’t enough to win the fight
And now you’re in a place so far out of reach
The war is over now
All the flames have died out
Released from all the pain, you can now fly free
You’ll be in my heart for as long as I live
I’ll hold on to your legacy
Verse 2
Moving a long strong, is the hardest part
When you’re consumed by the sadness, overwhelmed by the dark
But at the end of all tunnels, there is a light
Reminding us better days are to come, we have to move on with life
Chorus
You held on with all your might
But it wasn’t enough to win the fight
And now you’re in a place so far out of reach
The war is over now
All the flames have died out
Released from all the pain, you can now fly free
You’ll be in my heart for as long as I live
I’ll hold on to your legacy
Bridge
When I feel hopeless
When I feel down
You’ve always been beside me, you’re all around
I feel your soul
I feel your love
You’ve never left me, you’re just now an angel watching above
You’re just now an angel watching above
Chorus
You held on with all your might
But it wasn’t enough to win the fight
And now you’re in a place so far out of reach
The war is over now
All the flames have died out
Released from all the pain, you can now fly free
You’ll be in my heart for as long as I live
I’ll hold on to your legacy
Okay, so this is something I wrote to a Lana Del Rey type beat that I found on youtube. It has a very mellow feel to it, a lowkey rap beat almost.
The Prayer
[Verse 1:]
God, those yellow eyes
Send me into overdrive
How do you get away
With so much these days?
One look and you have me numb
Why am I so dumb?
I knew from the start
That you prowled for my heart
I knew you were not the one
You just wanted to have fun
But I was living for the moment
Go on call your hoes and hold em.
[Pre-Chorus:]
Why am I crying?
What a waste of tears
Bitter taste of fear
So you go
[Chorus:]
Out of your way
To sway and betray
Out of your way
To pray for your prey
Pray for your prey
Pray for your prey
Pray for your prey
Pray for your prey
[Verse 2:]
We're so different babe, yet the same
I like to pray and dance
You like blood on your hands
I play it cool while you hunt things
You're the wolf and I'm the lynx
I knew you were not the one
You just wanted to have fun
But I was living for the moment
Go on call your hoes and hold em.
You're just on a killing mission
[Pre Chorus]
[Chorus]
[Bridge:]
These tears, you don't deserve
These fears, you won't observe
Then you go
I Fell In Love With The DJ lyics
For some reason, I felt like it'd fit well in like...a soundtrack to a 2015 remake to The Hunchback of Notre Dame or something. It seemed like sometimes you had words there just to fit a rhyme scheme, but eh. 
Maybe I'm not picturing it right or something. 
I've been trying to teach myself to write to instrumentals, and figured the best way would be to make them myself. 
this song is written in Lana Del Rey style so imagine her singing it when you read the lyrics and it should bring it to life.
It was very descriptive but also gave the song the extra oomph so it wasn't just another DJ falling in love sort of track. To me it gave the song extra life anyway 
I kind of wanted it to delve a bit into the state of mind the person who is in love with the DJ was in, so I guess you appreciated that. 
I was trying to rhyme in the chorus but couldn't think of anything to rhyme so I just left it alone (but you caught it anyways). And yeah square one is better, just couldn't think of anything again.
)
Just something innocent, cute, and quirky that'd you'd hear in like a rated G movie. 