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Discussion: Would you let your son wear a dress?
Member Since: 5/14/2012
Posts: 12,274
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Y'all still using the "I don't want my child to be hurt/bullied excuse?" as to why they can't wear dresses?
Quote:
Originally posted by psychodj
"He'll get beat up for it."
Please.
He can get beat up got looking a certain way, talking a certain way, provoking somebody, etc...pretty much anything else. That's not a good enough excuse.
How about people start raising their children to be tolerate of others and their decisions, and not put their hands on anybody for no reason at all, especially if it doesn't concern them?
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The moment the child leaves your presence is the moment they can become in harms way. Doesn't matter how masculine/feminine your child is, or the type of clothes, or ethnicity, if a bully wants to pick on your child, then they will do it, period.
Find a better reason to use.
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Member Since: 3/22/2011
Posts: 26,525
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Member Since: 11/15/2011
Posts: 5,947
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Quote:
Originally posted by RomanNavy
Keep guessing you might get an answer!
This has nothing to do with being open minded but with the well being of my child. Years later he'd be thankful I didn't let him wear that dress. They're kids.... How are they gonna understand the consequences of their behavior. As a parent you can protect them against that cuz a boy wearing a dress can make him an easy target.
Y'all are putting your child's life at risk so he can wear a stupid piece of fabric. Y'all are not ready for kids.
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YOU seem to be the one who is not ready for kids. If you would seriously blame the child wearing a dress or his/her parents over the bullies... then you have some issues. The whole point is that children should be able to express themselves how they want as long as they're not harming anyone. People should teach their kids to keep their hands and negative comments to themselves. And how do you know years later that he/she would be thankful? What if they were truly trans and you ****ed up their mentality about the whole thing?
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Banned
Member Since: 3/19/2012
Posts: 7,835
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No way in hell! Dresses are women's clothing!
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Member Since: 11/28/2011
Posts: 27,495
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I mean, there's still a good chance he wouldn't even be transgender. Kill any bad habits and unfruitful vices while they're still weak and underdeveloped, before he ends up on TLC's My Strange Addictions.
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Member Since: 11/15/2011
Posts: 5,947
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Quote:
Originally posted by Goosey
No way in hell! Dresses are women's clothing!
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Lol at this blatant reinforcement of gender and gender roles. Who says dresses are woman's clothing? Society? In a way, I'm really shocked at some of the responses on here, you'd think since a lot of the members here are gay or bi, they'd have more open minds... but then again I'm not really surprised.
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Member Since: 8/17/2013
Posts: 6,565
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Quote:
Originally posted by Javan
No offense but this is how most of y'all will fail at parenting. Letting your child make potentially critical decisions that could affect their safety, mental health and overall well being. You can tell him the consequences 100 times and he could still make a decision he can't handle (the wrong decision). Anyone with a younger sibling or anyone with common sense would understand that an infant is poor at critical thinking. That's why we make decisions for them.
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This!
If children made their own decisions we'd have a nation of obese, rude, spoilt brats.
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Member Since: 6/4/2010
Posts: 38,919
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Quote:
Originally posted by Javan
No offense but this is how most of y'all will fail at parenting. Letting your child make potentially critical decisions that could affect their safety, mental health and overall well being. You can tell him the consequences 100 times and he could still make a decision he can't handle (the wrong decision). Anyone with a younger sibling or anyone with common sense would understand that an infant is poor at critical thinking. That's why we make decisions for them.
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!!!!!
There's a difference in being open minded and just plain foolish.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 2,610
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Yes! If it made him happy
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 7,253
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Quote:
Originally posted by RomanNavy
Keep guessing you might get an answer!
This has nothing to do with being open minded but with the well being of my child. Years later he'd be thankful I didn't let him wear that dress. They're kids.... How are they gonna understand the consequences of their behavior. As a parent you can protect them against that cuz a boy wearing a dress can make him an easy target.
Y'all are putting your child's life at risk so he can wear a stupid piece of fabric. Y'all are not ready for kids.
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You're still not giving an answer, so no shade, but I think I already guessed correctly
Letting their life at risk? Are you kidding me? So what you're telling me is that he/she should never leave the house because of what might happen? So if your kid was gay, or handicapped, you would never let him leave the house because people might be mean to them? People you don't know? People who are willing to shout at a child, or possibly worse? THOSE are people you let run your life? SMH.
You teach your kids to develop self esteem and confidence and not be afraid of people like that. You tell them not to pay any attention to people who don't get them. You be there for them as a pillar of strength, as someone who understands. You don't tell them to repress themselves, or make them feel like they can't confide in you.
Quote:
Originally posted by Jae
I'd rather my child wasn't bullied for dressing "like a girl" and made up their mind when they're 18.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Javan
Anyone with a younger sibling or anyone with common sense would understand that an infant is poor at critical thinking. That's why we make decisions for them.
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But they already expressed interest as a child, why must they be 18 to be heard? If kids can decide to commit suicide over being misunderstood at 12, 13, they can have their voices heard at the same age
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Member Since: 8/1/2012
Posts: 25,037
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Quote:
Originally posted by Peroxide
So, I as the parent should be blamed for my kid getting beaten up in class everyday? I'm not going to pander to bullies, especially when their children for crying out loud. If anything ever did happen I'd make damn sure the school did something about the matter. You know what needs to change? Society's deception of gender normalcy - and it's only going to change if people like me and you do something about it.
And I'm not saying you are; I'm saying you share an opinion which could strike a parallel. People on this site share some incredibly conservative opinions, even if they don't realise it.
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I understand but if you KNOW what society is like, why let a lil boy go out there in his dress when you know he's going to return hurt emotionally and possibly physically. Kids are vile and ruthless. Schools/ parents can't do **** about it, but you can. Tell your kid no for his own good.
Yes he will have a loving and supporting family but in the end he'd want a careless and fun childhood. Society is still too conservative and narrow minded, don't let your kid fall victim to it cuz being bullied is no fun.
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Member Since: 1/26/2012
Posts: 3,272
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Quote:
Originally posted by ReginaPhalange
Obviously, but if he was a trans person and I denied him the right to be who he truly wanted to be, that would do a lot more damage mentally than any amount of bullying could ever do
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You're not denying him from being himself, as a child he's still learning about
himself. All you're doing is giving him time (18) to make sure if this is what he really wants to
do. Most kids nowadays, are just following what the next kid is doing.
Bullying has cause kids to end their life. Stop it.
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Member Since: 5/14/2012
Posts: 12,274
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Some of y'all opinions though...
The fact that this thread is still going on. I didn't know a "dress on a male" would cause so much debate.
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Member Since: 4/12/2012
Posts: 10,997
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The posts in this thread make me so angry tbh. My mom is just like y'all, she is so concerned about what everyone else thinks and doesn't give a **** about my happiness. I have to live my whole life in secret and it makes me so depressed. I have all these nice things that I can't even wear outside. I know that society is not accepting of people like me right now, but if I live my life in secret, society will never change. I am prepared to deal with people's harsh words if it means being myself.
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Member Since: 6/4/2010
Posts: 38,919
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Quote:
Originally posted by psychodj
The moment the child leaves your presence is the moment they can become in harms way.
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Duh which is all the reason to not make any decisions that could bring any more unnecessary harm to them.
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Member Since: 11/15/2011
Posts: 5,947
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Quote:
Originally posted by RomanNavy
I understand but if you KNOW what society is like, why let a lil boy go out there in his dress when you know he's going to return hurt emotionally and possibly physically. Kids are vile and ruthless. Schools/ parents can't do **** about it, but you can. Tell your kid no for his own good.
Yes he will have a loving and supporting family but in the end he'd want a careless and fun childhood. Society is still too conservative and narrow minded, don't let your kid fall victim to it cuz being bullied is no fun.
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Your reasons kind of sound like victim blaming. Like if she wouldn't have put on that short skirt, she wouldn't have gotten raped.
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Member Since: 10/18/2010
Posts: 29,224
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Quote:
Originally posted by Javan
No offense but this is how most of y'all will fail at parenting. Letting your child make potentially critical decisions that could affect their safety, mental health and overall well being. You can tell him the consequences 100 times and he could still make a decision he can't handle (the wrong decision). Anyone with a younger sibling or anyone with common sense would understand that an infant is poor at critical thinking. That's why we make decisions for them.
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1. Don't use "no offense" because that's just another way of saying "I'm going to offend you, but I don't want to get flack for it".
2. I could swear the age was never mentioned and an "infant" isn't the same as a "child".
3. Nobody should raise their child the way others want them to. There is no book that can tell you how to be "good parents" other than the book you write if your child ends up being who they're meant to be.
4. Everyone makes bad decisions, that's how you learn!
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Member Since: 8/17/2013
Posts: 6,565
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Quote:
Originally posted by SlayingOnTheEarth
But they already expressed interest as a child, why must they be 18 to be heard? If kids can decide to commit suicide over being misunderstood at 12, 13, they can have their voices heard at the same age.
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Because when the child turns 18 the parents are no longer entirely responsible for them.
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Member Since: 9/3/2011
Posts: 28,911
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Member Since: 11/15/2011
Posts: 5,947
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ryuuchan_X
The posts in this thread make me so angry tbh. My mom is just like y'all, she is so concerned about what everyone else thinks and doesn't give a **** about my happiness. I have to live my whole life in secret and it makes me so depressed. I have all these nice things that I can't even wear outside. I know that society is not accepting of people like me right now, but if I live my life in secret, society will never change. I am prepared to deal with people's harsh words if it means being myself.
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There we go. There's the receipts that ya'll are always asking for. This is why people should be allowed to express themselves how they wish. Why should they suffer because of other people's ignorance? P.S. sorry to hear that's how your mom is, I hope you get to be who you truly are someday.
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