for like 3 days I though I had HIV... I felt horrible but most of all ashamed, like how I'm going to explain it to people? I kept watching the movie Philadelphia to feel less lonely, I just thought: "If I got HIV I don't have to be ashamed, we all look for love, maybe I was looking in the wrong places but I don't deserve to be stigmatized", as Neil Young's song says "I don't wanna be ashamed of love".
I also prayed to God crying that I would change and would stop whoring around if I was negative.
Thank God I was negative
But I did change and stopped hooking up, it's a big wake up call