[TheCheetahwings]

This entry was probably the first one that fell short on the challenge, I totally forgot this was supposed to be a Flying song until I got to the second stanza of the second verse. In general, I think this served “Butterfly Lies” - my thankfully forgotten #7 hit - in that the emotion far exceeded the delivery, which was really simple and cliché.

- “You’re the only thing that I do know, / Will never be the one to say goodbye” this was messy with the significant other being the other “THING” that will never say goodbye; the “do” was also unnecessary. This just didn’t work.
- “Three months later under Christmas lights / You promised you’d stay here this time” “this” is present tense and this section is in the past perfect; these kind of tense mistakes really kill me.
- The chorus didn’t really offend me, but for others it could definitely come across as banal.
- The Pre-Chorus is an example of the simple/cliché stuff that came off ineffectively.

Nnn my second negative review I definitely understand the issues with it though, but I hope i can make it through to the next round.

[Kunst]

Originally posted by Citrus

This round I used #1 Platinum Hitmaker ceremonials, Saintwest, and chronic druggie King Kunst

yasss, define me

[Jackson]

Thank you for the review btw. I can see why you made the criticisms you did except the part about not seeing the type which is very clear

[jpow]

If Temporal was Simon, then Cupid was Natalie Kills and we were all that guy in a suit.

And mess at you not thinking there were rhymes in the second part of verse 1. I went with near rhymes and they are close enough IMO - enraged/pain, dark/charge. So I don't understand why that doesn't work for you (maybe the British thing idk). Try and drag for it being rushed when I took so much more time with this song then probably any song I've ever written. So I don't understand that criticism either.

[ughgabriel]

I am officially afraid of Cupid now ok

[Kunst]

Originally posted by Cupid

Kunst - um, I kinda love the opening verse and i'm not sure if I should, but I do. Maybe because you used two of my favourite things, the moon and June. Overall there were a few iffy moments, the fools gold line for example.. but I kinda love this? It fits the theme and you kept the style flowing throughout.

Yas.

Chronic druggie strikes again

[Citrus]

Everyone is afraid of the judges and I'm just wondering, did y'all not read any of 8th's reviews last season?

[Jackson]

Also every line in the chorus has 13 syllables when you remove the anacruses and follows the same stressing pattern but maybe it sounds different in British

[ceremonials]

Originally posted by Cupid

Let me delete this ceremonials lashing then before I read his new song.

mess they werent even that diffferent

[Citrus]

Originally posted by Jackson

Also every line in the chorus has 13 syllables when you remove the anacruses and follows the same stressing pattern but maybe it sounds different in British

I didn't know you were bilingual

[Temporal]

Originally posted by Citrus

Everyone is afraid of the judges and I'm just wondering, did y'all not read any of 8th's reviews last season?

fff actually though

[Jackson]

Originally posted by Citrus

I didn't know you were bilingual

I speak Australian too

[Jackson]

I also disagree that it's not as good as my last song. So maybe I do disagree with everything. But that's the name of the game sometimes

[ceremonials]

ready for cupid to lash me

[Corsola]

When one judge's biggest praise for you gets you massacred by another judge

[Corsola]

Anyway I disagree mostly with my icy vocabulary being forced in. Since the plot of my song was all about an ice mage I felt it was more appropriate to say she'll freeze someone than to just kill them. As for frigid, my options for that line were dirty deeds/frigid deeds and dirty was just a weak word especially in comparison to my other vocabulary. The only line I feel is debatable about being forced is the frosty one, but I don't know how to describe an ice mage's powers without using an icy word. This is the first critique I have disagreements with this season.

[ughgabriel]

I was planning on getting a haircut today but since Cupid is going to be reviewing maybe I'll get scalped for free

[ceremonials]

If we're dragging judges let me join in

Huga, you said the juxtaposition of literal and metaphorical lines was jarring. Was I supposed to make them all literal or all metaphorical? 99% sure if i did either of those things i wouldve been dragged

thank u for your time xoxo

[8thPrince]

Originally posted by Citrus

Everyone is afraid of the judges and I'm just wondering, did y'all not read any of 8th's reviews last season?

nnnn I was very sweet and kind stop the slander

[RihsusChrist(ATG)]

RihsusChrist(ATG) - Why am I cackling and screaming and lowkey loving this. The chorus ends with a real punch, you set up that line perfectly. Stir my senses was sort of an amazing nod to the title. I wish the song was a little longer.. it felt like you cut it short before the climax, pun intended. Add a bridge in, or 3rd verse and you'd have a pretty great bop.