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Tournament: 💎 DIAMOND HIT 💎
Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 30,915
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just one more and then Batch 1 is done lol
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Member Since: 1/4/2014
Posts: 6,751
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Quote:
Originally posted by jpow
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I a m E x c i t e d!
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Member Since: 3/26/2012
Posts: 37,592
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if i'm not ur #1, keep it
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 56,234
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ok but who even cares about batch 1, this batch favoritism, batch racism, batchism.
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Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 30,915
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I was gonna do #3 first but it's huge so no lol.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 13,381
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Quote:
Originally posted by Moonchild
Take my hand, take my whole life too
For I can't help falling in love with you
"Can't Help Falling In Love" is such a classic. 
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I love this song I remember my Elvis phase
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Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 30,915
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Pears Batch #1
Swiftie didn't make me a fancy new banner so I took 2.5 off his score
Swiftie 13 - A Sunflowers Dance:
Story-wise totally gripping, original and emotionally charged. A really sweet read that gave me generally everything I really needed in a song, let alone an early submission like this. The only small issues I had were slight moments of vagueness ("despite the neighbour's complaints" - I felt like this could've used a bit more explanation of just what they were complaining about or just a bit more expansion in putting across that mention of racism) and the meter.
SaintWest - Bulletproof:
I think what is mostly lacking here is a sense of individuality or originality. While it works - it's quite surface level writing, I'd say. It tries to be vulnerable, but it isn't really backed up totally with the emotions. It's quite Sia-esque in that aspect, while it can't be torn through the mud, it's kind of a "okay that was a song" moment where I'm not entirely sure if I'll remember this or not.
Jackson - Welcome to My World:
Meter = perfect. It's definitely a bit of an #enigmatic entry with some of these word choices. Generally some of this would be a mess in an average song but it fits with the overall mood here. The 'mama' mention was quite annoying because you go from more sophisticated vocabulary to talking about your 'mama' and porches like in some hick song, could've done without that. The vagueness and enigmatic nature works quite well since you're trying to paint a picture of a mad, dark world, so you succeed in that, but I hope you know not to try that elsewhere.
Tylerbv - Back Above:
My main gripe is kinda that I feel like the narrative is a little disjointed? I felt like the bounced around from talking positively and talking negatively, and that's kinda an issue in that at points you're saying you are "drowning, bound and broken" but then you're singing a "song of freedom", and then you talk about how you belong in these dark caverns, and then you're saying you've never had a family or been loved so you're never leaving the ocean, but then for some reason you become happy about being there and feel "bright and hoping"? I think in general it lacked a little context and focus for whatever you were trying to portray here. That said, the individual parts of it were quite nice, just the overall story was a confusing thing. The imagery was nice, the meter was okay.
Kunst - Wonder Years:
This was quite a nice entry. I think you got the feeling of that nostalgic, young misfit love quite well. Some of the references were a bit direct, like naming vodka and beer straight up. It's not a huge negative but I do think if you were a bit more metaphorical about it, it would've suited your song better. Meter was fine, too.
Moonchild - Candy Man:
My life was better before I read this.
Glassmouth - Get Into:
The wording was quite odd and the meter was a bit disjointed at times, although at other points like the first two lines of the pre-chorus you worked with a good meter. I really see what you were trying to go for but the wording was just quite hard to follow. I think, in the future, you could ask for some help with getting wording across, this can be worked on quite easily. Ask in the thread, probably. Cause I see general potential.
DevonDreams - RIP
Good riddance child.
Uneek - You Dont Wanna Save Me:
I wrote you a review, but you told me it'd be easier to post reviews all at once. So, when I can do that, I'll post your review.
Musiciflife11:
I forgot what your song is called, sorry. One aspect of this song I like is the simplicity - you didn't need to hide behind some big story or metaphors. But, in a way, I kinda wished you had. What was left i the absence of these things was pretty boring. I think you tried to embody emotion here, but it didn't really happen fully for me. I think you could've executed this idea better, at points you even hint at a 'past' and what not - it would've been more interesting to hear about this as opposed to this.
PhreshDiamond - Apologies to Those Competing:
You had some lines that actually did punch a bit and you did drag a bit, but the meter is messy and other parts were pretty much incoherent. Still though, quite an interesting entry. As far a novelty/non-emotional songs go, this style is oddly intriguing. I wanna see if you'd actually be able to deliver in other challenges which aren't as open as this.
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Member Since: 3/26/2012
Posts: 37,592
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Quote:
Uneek - You Dont Wanna Save Me:
I wrote you a review, but you told me it'd be easier to post reviews all at once. So, when I can do that, I'll post your review.
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and i know mine's not as clear as it could be, but moral of the story is bitch drowned himself and is happy 2 be dead (relatable!)
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 37,384
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I agrih with my review 
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Member Since: 9/16/2011
Posts: 50,981
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Quote:
Originally posted by Moonchild
Take my hand, take my whole life too
For I can't help falling in love with you
"Can't Help Falling In Love" is such a classic.
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There's a version by Perfume Genius that was released this year and I love it.
Poor Elvis.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 56,234
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Quote:
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Swiftie didn't make me a fancy new banner so I took 2.5 off his score
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First time in PH history a contestant has received a negative score?
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Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 10,514
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I know you don't like novelty songs, but you could write an actual review.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 26,488
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Poor Uneek will be banned before you end up posting ha review
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 5,500
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Quote:
Uneek - You Dont Wanna Save Me:
I wrote you a review, but you told me it'd be easier to post reviews all at once. So, when I can do that, I'll post your review.
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Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 30,915
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Quote:
Originally posted by Moonchild
I know you don't like novelty songs, but you could write an actual review. |
You could write an actual song
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Member Since: 3/15/2013
Posts: 6,659
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Not you actually doing Uneek like that
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Member Since: 8/6/2015
Posts: 18,803
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ATRL Moderator
Member Since: 10/17/2011
Posts: 20,487
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Quote:
Originally posted by Aurora
Mine will be called "Santa gave me Cancer for Christmas".
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Is this Kylie shade
Quote:
Originally posted by Achilles.
I still haven't listened to the second disc of Miranda's album.  |
Poor you cuz it's low-key better
Tin Man is soty >
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 13,381
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Troll Under The Bridge by Adele is a great song
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Member Since: 8/6/2015
Posts: 18,803
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Poor uneek. Love you babe 
Quote:
Originally posted by MattyTacos
Matty Under The Bridge by Adele is a great song
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