Take your time, Hug. I'd rather a happy Hug reviewing our songs than a grumpy Hug.
Quote:
Originally posted by Cupid
Aurora - "a blazing light, Clouding up my mind" I didn't like this part, you ended one line saying he was a blazing light then said he's clouding your mind, but how can a light cloud? "Unequivocally unique" i'm not sure how to feel about this either, it's so cluttered, unequivocally isn't really a good word for songs. I'll be honest, reading the song before the explanation it's totally lost on me, I didn't understand it. "I taste your snowflake secrets" I don't know how this relates to a gay closeted man? I like that you took a risk with your theme and you do paint a beautiful imagery (be careful not to overdo it with the vocabulary though). But I think maybe this comparison, besides the pre-chorus, got a little lost.
|
Thanks for the comments! I hadn't really considered a problem between the light and the cloud lyric that followed but I totally see that now. It was more of a literal "you're all I can think about" but I can see how in amongst the other imagery it could be taken as something metaphorical, oops. Yeah the archaic language is definitely not making the cut next time.

I was really interested to see what the reception would be like and I'm glad it's overwhelmingly negative because now I know never to use it again.

I'll work on better central metaphors (the "Snowflake Secrets" idea just came to me and I tried to make it work as best as possible, and clearly didn't do a good enough job) and avoid concepts that aren't detectable without an explanation.