Quote:
|
The subject change from clouds to all of sudden being drenched in waterfalls and “diving” was really jarring
|
aljfasg I thought I made it pretty clear it was raining, but I guess nawt
Nnn I don't want to be that person but I made that switch from clouds to oceans jarring on purpose for effect but yeah, I had a real issue with flow this time. I was like **** it let me just write about what I'm feeling atm and threw everything technical out the window, which honestly feels liberating. I'm happy the imagery came thru tho since that was what I put my focus on. I never like to include an explanation with my entries because I want to let my songs speak for themselves so this round is a great way to 'test the waters'
and identify what I need to work on
From your critique, it seems as though I still need to improve on:
1. adjusting my perspective to a wider one
2. straying away from too fanciful, almost nonsensical imagery
3. executing/fleshing out a good concept
I need a balance and I can't seem to find it and I feel like this has been a recurring theme in all my songwriting. Sometimes I strike gold but usually things fall apart at the seams but I'll definitely mull over your review for next week's round, thanks!
I'm very introspective so I struggle with translating that to an audience and adapting myself to a technical order. It's like I'm either too detailed and it comes across as incoherent or I'm too broad and it comes across as vanilla, so I'm still trying to figure that part out.
I'm always standing
Behind my shadow
I'm never sure which way is shore
I'm facing forwards
Still swimming backwards and backwards
are probably my favourite lines from my song
which sucks because I wrote those lines first and I feel like the rest of my songs never live up to the first few lines I start with. It's like I'm a seamstress using different fabrics to patchwork a quilt that is either a few threads too loose, or a few threads too tight. nnn inb4 I write a song about this for the next round, would be cool!
Thankfully I'm in a really inspired moment in my life - emotionally, philosophically and musically - so I don't have writer's block and there are millions of ideas still brewing in my mind. Poor whoever does have writer's block tho like **** that
One thing I do love about my songs is how they're a reflection of my mind at that moment in time. I love looking back through my songs and remembering why I wrote them. Swimming Backwards is funnily enough inspired by this inner conflict I've been having for a while, both in life and my songwriting. But the cool thing is how UNINTENTIONAL it all was. I literally said to myself 'just write what's on your mind'
nnn I'm such an emotional bitch
Page 121.
I just wanna smoke some weed and get ****ed TBH
